Salvatore

You know, that kind of cognition which lies beneath details of life can be amazing. That kind of beautiful cognition comes to the surface gracefully when you see it sincerely, you wouldn't even need to peel it off purposely. Here's how the cognition came to my mind. It just happened and  I was certainly moved and stunned by how little details my mum bears, how she nurtures her kids with consideration of every bits of love, even when the kids have literally grow up, I mean, even when the kids are not more really little. But, in a mum's eyes, kid is always that little baby who she's not going to let go forever. 

My sister has always had a very serious allergy on seafood. So my mum would never add any seafood, for an instance, prawn into the dishes. Or sometime, there would be two version of dishes, one with the seafood and the another not. Somehow, routinely, virtually it had become an unspoken tradition. Somewhat, we, or basically, I had so gotten used to it that I barely remembered how the tradition was actually originated. And here it goes. My sister went to Kuching and it was the winter solstice day. And my mum was preparing for the dishes. She uttered something sounded like, "add the prawn into the mihun." And I was like, "err.." for seconds trying to figure out what's wrong. And the next second my mum said, "ah non(my sister) is not at home." You see it? She remembered every little things of us. And she doesn't really 'remembered', but is remembering every now and then. Thank you. <3

I attended a marriage dinner the other day. People really change with the growing of age, externally and most importantly, internally. The way you think, the way you view things. I used to get excited attending marriage functions when I am younger. You know, that kind of child-fun, eating, looking at the beautiful bride and groom, wearing pretty dresses, playing around with the almost-same-age-cousins. As the age grows, I still love that kind of warmth and joy attending the same kind of function, but it always comes along with very different kind of perspective and realization. Frequently I am moved when they're giving pieces of words to their parents, when they're simply hugging each other, hugging their parents, or when they're kissing each other. Every time I feel touched in a way or another and always, feel hard to hold back the falling tear.  

I am working as a promoter now. It ain't an easy job, really. Saying the same whole thing repeatedly for the (literally) entire day ain't as simple. But, dealing with different type of people throughout the day could be interesting. Yah. I am going to update about the working experience soon. 'til then, see ya. :)

One more day to Christmas! 

Yee-huh. I've no idea of the title, by the way. But yah, I'm hooked on The Vampires' Diaries very very badly. Ah, it's always ADDICTIVE. 

Good night!

爱。喜乐。生命

忆 跌入深深的隧。

回到诗巫在戏院观看的第一步电影竟是一部本土并新加坡演员加持制作的片子，Lelio popo. 一直以来都觉得本地的电影很真诚，很赤纯，带着深深的感动。果然，不负众望，至少，不负我望，它再一次为本地电影画下新的乐章。重重的笑点当中，还不忘反映现今的生活，带出看似简易但却深沉的教导。原以为的笑片却让我带着哭肿的双眼离开戏院。

很谢谢当天随行的Akira, Andrew, Lawrence. 连日接踵的挑战真的让我有种莫名的喘不过气。当天的出游，无论如何，真的多少舒缓了紧绷的情绪。细细品茗着诗巫的风情，再一次的感受她的美，她那熟悉的味道，她的宁静，她的优雅。任凭夕阳的晚风吹打在脸上，毛孔呼吸到的不是如外地的沙土尘埃，而是那风中的自然芬芳。诗巫真的很美！

随着公公的逝世，似乎回到乡下陪伴婆婆的次数无形中增加了许多。似乎大家都意识到了子欲养而亲不在的意境。霎时，我好想念他。自有意识以来，第一次面对了至亲的死亡。或许，死亡并不是那么的可怕，离别才是难耐的一环。想起婆婆抓着我的手哭着说，mimi, 以后没有公公了。啊！为何离别是如此的残酷，如此的不解风情！

一件又一件的事情，似乎无声无息的掀起了那个从未有的自己。学着面对，学着接受，学着相信。也因为某一些说不上的原因，似乎感觉到自己那股蠢蠢欲动的叛逆和某些成份的噪郁感于某些不想做的事情上。那是很自私的想法。总会有一个意识说让我好好享受家人的宠爱，家乡的熏陶，请不要叫我做一些我真的不想在这个时间，这个地方做的事情。潜意识真的似乎就会将那些不想视而不理。就让我偶尔的叛逆一下，好吗。

而原来，好朋友是就算许久未见面都还可以很坦然很自然毫无寂静毫不尴尬的谈天说地，毫无避忌毫无形象，不理会路人异样目光的大声嚷嚷，大声的自然的属于我们的豪迈大笑。不避讳的如疯颠般三个人一起挤入同一间试衣间，说一些属于我们之间的笑话，以逛街为名义的同时间，却根本无暇于挑选物品；在美食当前的同时间，却也无暇于真正的品茗；乃是争取着每一分钟滔滔的诉说那无止尽的故事，秘密。

爱。喜乐。生命

生命有你们真好

最近一直听到一首很好听的歌曲，特别喜欢歌曲中的某一段旋律。“春风不解风情，吹动少年的心”，每每听到这一段歌词和旋律时，就会有一阵奇异的暖流在心底划过。

感觉无需任何奢侈多余的点缀。

静静聆听。静静享受。静静感受。

cuties

Lester 

 Liana

 Lilian

They are cute. Very cute. <3

instantaneous

This holidays. Things happened one after another. In an unexpected rate. Unexpected as in the fate of unacceptable. They were acceptable but a little bit more of time would really ease the stun. This holidays. I experienced one after another. With acceptance and belief. Acceptance of God's timing. Belief of God has His best plan in every accounts.

Cognition. At this age, I thought I have come to learn many knowledge and experiences. But in fact, there are so much more to explore and I am actually so minute in the whole wide world. It is just as if I am only the little dot which can hardly be seen even under a lens of high magnification power.

So many first times in the entire life experienced and to be experienced. The first time to witness a person breathing the last mouthfuls of air until the body finally ceased to gasp for air. Right under my eyes. Life could be so fragile. Death. Funeral. The first time I saw everyone shedding so much tears off. Inevitable sadness.

The first time I had spent so much time in hospital. Frankly, I used to have a not-so-good-feeling on hospital. I mean, it usually exhibits a sense of melancholy because it deals mostly with sickness. And I could really do nothing but express a deep sigh for the governmental hospital's service. It is life, you know, life? Yet they could just handle with it so briefly, carelessly. I really doubted the profession of doctor? And nurse? Not all of them, but most of them.

The first time taking boat from Sibu to Kuching, alone. Thank Rachel for the hosting. The first time taking Toefl (wouldn't want to have a second time though). The friggin' freakin' four hours. The one week at the west was spent shopping and watching movies like crazily. Spent so much that I'm somehow broke now. And the few movies. Harry Potter was as always, good. Rapunzel was sweet, lovely. The Next Three Days was cool and awesome! Anyways, thank Summer for the hosting for the week. Thank God for the safe journey. And of the utmost, got to go back to Eca for church services. Great. 

The first time I knew Airasia sucks to its very core. Ahh. The friggin' 40 bucks. The specific counters for the luggage-problems were full with people. Which actually means it was going to earn so much extra bucks! Wow, the bloody money sucker. 

And there it goes. Yesterday we were again bombarded by another tragic news. A relative's family was involved in an accident. Not a really close relative, I mean, kind of uh, far-related ones, but still, know them well and have met each other many times. The father was dead on the spot. The mother and the son are bruised and injured severely. And the other three daughters are injured a little bit. And you know what, they didn't do wrong or any sort of careless driving. There was this drunken man who caused the tragedy. They had seen this car moving unstably from the other direction and so they pulled to a side and stopped so as to prevent from knocking with the car. But the car hit on them. How cruel is the fact! Lord, please heal them. Physically, mentally. Lord, bless them with stable health and mental condition. Everything will be fine. 

With all things happened continuously, I had somehow neglected my application-essays. And the earliest deadline will be 15th December, which is soon and very soon. And I'm just halfway through the first essay. Oh, there are two essays required for that particular university. Uh huh. I'm gonna make it happen. Lord, bless me with abundant inspirations to present a special essay. Bless me with a very smooth application process. Amen.

After all, I'm once again reminded of the significance of family to me, myself, and I. I love them, each and every one of them. I want to really cherish every moment at home. Because I know too well how unwilling I'll be when I need to leave home. 

Life is a very beautiful lullaby.
With all kinds of expressions it may present. 

Worthy is the lullaby. Worthy is the life.

RIP

Too many things happened.

Grievousness. Which was inevitable. In the end, it's still the family bond that could have made the tear rolled. It's not more the matter of how tough you might be. Too many tears. Too many cries. 

God has His best plan. Always. Things happen out of a reason or more.

Rest in peace. We love you.

19.

And so I'm officially 19 years old.

Thank god. Thank everyone. I'm blessed.

And a bit update of life. Holidays is fantastic. Home is great! I'm babysitting three little six-months-old babies recently. Baby is adorable.

University application under progress. Toefl is coming soon. But I couldn't find my toefl practice test cd. Sob.

And that's all for now. Catch up later.

sibu soon

I am still staying up at this moment, 4:51am. Staying the whole night up in the airport is really not a very pleasant thing to do. An experience, perhaps. Thank to a thing named movie which made the night young. 

Alright, holidays had been very great. The past few days were so of amazing. As if I went through some sort of amazing race. Holidays seemed to be even hectic, that's why, the amazement. But well, days had been very meaningful doing meaningful things, spending with splendid people. And you didn't feel the pain when you're doing with love.

Started off with the MPM Course (Market Place Ministry). And then the farewell party for Benny and Sing Yii. The church services. The Sunday school ministry. You know, kids are so adorable. The Subang-stay. The Petaling Jaya-stay. The movie, Megamind with few church brothers and sister. The craps with the few close friends in hostel. The application thingy with them. Yes, I'm going to miss each and every one.

And, the lone ranger-journey. All alone. 

God has His way. Met with a person who is originated from Vietnam and has his studies at Australia and who is waiting for his transit at the airport. He borrowed the adapter of my laptop's charger, as his was not compatible with the plug of the power source. Okay, truly, I was fretting a little bit. Because you know, the society today is so unreliable, the people are unbelievable. At least, I really do have this kind of perception. 

Guess God wants me to learn about trustworthiness. And the faith in Him. 

So, had some kind of interaction with this person called Van. But basically, at most of the time, he was sleeping. And I was staying the whole night up to keep my eyes on our stuffs and to catch up with my movies. Hah, I finished up two movies which both last for two hours. 

Sibu 0705hrs. Got to check-in soon. Sibu, I'll see you soon!

Happy holidays, everyone! 

h.o.l.i.d.a.y.s.

Finals was done!

Everything was good except Chemistry. Why must it be so cruel to me. And everyone else. 

I thought I wouldn't want to mention about the tests, but yea, Chemistry was still so frustrating. 

Alright. Fall 2010 was done. It was like, what? Time really flew, didn't it? 

Coming up, holidays!! And I mean, HOLIDAYS! Wheee!

Phil 4:13

God is faithful.

Do not easily skip the time for Him, for you never know how He is going to bless you. Things are going to be how they should be, with His will reigning. How much worries or attempts wouldn't change the fact, if that's really His will. 

Serving in Sunday school was indeed very tiring, but again and again, was reminded of the child-pure-heart. And His blessing never ceases, rather it's uncountable. In anyway, God never fails to bless, never fails to love. 

And nothing is impossible, it is only the matter of whether you want, whether you are willing. Because the faith you have in Him can even move a mountain, what more to say the little mere stuff of yours. 

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength! -Philippians 4:13.

All the best for finals! May the Lord bless you richly, may His grace be upon you! 

poison

It felt like ages. Because, it felt like too many things at one shot.

Had been suffered from some sort of food poisoning two days ago. All sorts of vomiting and diarrhea. I was partially, on the verge of dying. Seriously, this is not bluffing. It was like what, every interval of one hour, I woke up and vomited. Had nothing else to vomit towards the end and what had been vomited was the sour acidic fluid in the body. And even a little bit of water I took was vomited too. 

Anyway, after seeking for doctor, taking medicine and sleeping for the whole day long, I did get better. At least, no more vomiting, or diarrhea. Thank God! Thank Rachel for accompanying me to the doctor. Thank Angelina for the Bovril. Thank everyone for the concern. I'm much more better. The only consequence is the ache of the trachea and muscles, of vomiting too hard? Guess so. And I am so going to think twice or more the scarce-next-time I may go to eat at Pak Li. 

And sorry, mum for letting you worry, again. But I could do nothing better other than calling her at the first instant, crying like a baby in the phone, and asking what to do for the next moment. I did really feel bad when my mum and dad called for many many times when I was sleeping like dead and that I didn't answer their calls and that they were so worried, thinking what had happened to me. Sorry. And thank you for the love! I have the best mummy in the world, and daddy as well!

You know, the world is full with love. Love is all around. Love can be so amazing. Love can be very simple. Love can be a little bit of sophisticated. Love can be some kind of aching. Love can be wonderful. Love can be, beautiful! We had a certain sort of "pillow talk" the other day. It was a very heart-to-heart one, and I was touched, again and again. Go for it, if that's really God's willing and timing. He knows exactly what and when, and where is the best for you. 

Yee Voan's birthday. Happy Birthday again! Hope you did have a blast, although we were kind of failed to blast you off. Had a good time dining and interacting with you guys. And I just learnt that, they all cook so well. Wow! 

And finals is just around the corner. And all the assignments and reports due. Ah yesh, we are going to pull through this! All the best people!

Alright, and this is specially to Lawrence, as what Jerald suggested me to do. Time heals many things and what it cannot heal it at least makes clearer. Pray fervently and leave the rest to God! Cheers!

menstruating

Hello world.

Friday. Always a-don't-feel-doing-things-day. Didn't expect to stay in Intec at a Friday's evening. But thing just goes on that way. Got to stay for a talk later.

Food. You see. In the period of two weeks, or three weeks, had two times of buffet, and two times of Domino's party. Buffet: Midori and Jogoya. Midori is a new restaurant in Fahrenheit88. And Jogoya, a restaurant in Star Hill. Man, I was excited with the seafoods! You know, SEAFOOD! The best word to describe and to round the whole thing up, succulent! Believe me, you won't regret to have such certain time of luxurious meal once in a blue moon. And had different kind of wine in Jogoya. And cocktail. They were, yes, great! And I still prefer red wine than white wine. 

And domino's, one for Akira's and San Xiu's birthday splash, and the other for the Finite Maths' class-mini-party, with our beloved lecturer. 

The other day, we had a karaoke-spree. It's like ages, man. Scheduled to go for Neway, and you see, schedule is just meant to be broken. Neway was fully booked, and so it ended up to be RedBox, of Low Yat.

Oh did I mention there's a new restaurant opening at Section 18? Ayam Penyet, the replacement for the Chicken Rice Shop. Tried it with Rachel and Marie the other day. Not bad. But why couldn't it be a chinese-food-restaurant. 

It seems I had too much enjoyments, during this period of pre-finals. No, I ain't that free. On the verge of finishing each and every assignments, and literally preparing for the finals, days are kind of packed. Yes. At least I'm only having an average of 7-8 hours of sleep, plus a couple days of nap. But it seems to have become a habitual routine, which is actually good.

I'm currently reading on The Front, by Patricia Cornwell. The storyline is getting excited, thrilled. And am recently watching Down to Love, a Taiwanese drama. The last episode left. Got to settle it soon. And am currently listening to David Archuleta's, and Planetshakers. Oh, Lollipop had just released a new song. Hee.

Tell you what, life is really unpredictable, like the weather does. It feels like raining. Finally, the weather somehow starts to get back to the normal temperature. Thank God. And life? Many things are happening everyday. Yes, you really never know what will happen the next moment. 

There's a term as PMS, PreMenstrual Syndrome. And you really feel it. At least I did. You will be easily distracted, you get angry easily, you get emo, your tears get to roll down easily, you get to laugh easily, too. Girls you know exactly what I'm saying. 

The other day, at an instant, I miss home so much. It all happens in a sudden, when I was talking to my mum in phone. Listening to her telling things happened at home, I just couldn't resist and cried. And yea, it's proven to be true, it's pms, which had resulted that. 

And you'll ask, how it's proven. Alright, it just got to be proven with the happening of menstruation. Happening, eh? 

Used to dislike it. But what. The fact is there, none others but to accept it. 

Had been a bit lengthy. So that's all. 

Catch up later.

rash

Several things.

First, had a lot of fun video shooting for the Eca Tv. Although not as fluent as expected, because we face some complication of the shooting site, everything was done successfully in the end. Thank God! Thank the hosts Foong and Josh. Thank Excel, Hui Zi, San, Danny, and Qi Yi. Be excited for next month's Eca Tv!

See how things make up a big picture. Like Foong said, everyone with different talents make up the big picture, make up the church. 

And you know what, we had been scolded by the PPP, like what, AGAIN?! Sighhhhh I'm so speechless. The scarce freedom, you see, even the one of speech volume. Like, we weren't even making that much rowdiness. And now we really get to take it serious, for he said, that was the last warning. Man, we're talking like really soft now, whenever we're in the compound of the hostel.

And the weather is really effing hot! Seriously, what's up with the temperature? 

Things are gonna get better -David Archuleta. A very nice song from his new released album. Go get it. 

the season

You know what, female is very unpredictable. Yea. Very. She can laugh like mad at a moment, and cry like dumb at the next moment, or angry like heap at the another instant. You see, the intense swing of mood. That's why, the unpredictability. 

Sometime, you just couldn't blame her. She is just a little bit more sensitive. She is just a little bit more emotional. She is just a little bit more moody. She is just a little bit more observant. She is just a little bit more alert of the surrounding. She is just a little bit of mean. That is a girl, eh?

Uh. It's just a thought. Or rather, an inference made observing the girls around and of course the experience of own-self. She loves the rowdy maze, but sometime she wants a little bit of personal time. Just a bit. And she'll be good. She loves God. She loves him. She loves friends. She loves family. You know, girl is very lovely.

Nah. As if. If you really know her well. 

Alright, am going to sit for Finite Mathematics Test 2 soon, half an hour to go. Guess what, I forgot to bring my textbook. That's it, got nothing to study and this post appears. All the best for the test! 

Imma be good. Ah, go away, mean-ness.

And oh, the season, the ending period of the semester is here. All the assignments and the finals. Okay, be optimistic! Holidays soon.

the < plus 3

He likes her. She likes him. Guy can be very sentimental too. I thought he isn't one, but the love says it otherwise. Love can be so beautiful, lovely. I'm touched, with the tone, with the expression. Yes, you know it only after you experience it. 

Trust in God's will, wait for His timing. Because He knows what, when, where, who is the best for you. Indeed, await for none others but the best plan from Him. Because He reigns. And things are going to be alright and fine when you surrender, when you trust whole-heartedly in Him. Our God is a faithful God. Praise Him!

Friends are angels of God. You can't deny it. Life wouldn't be what it is without these angels around. 

The weather is undergoing some kind of mutation, I suppose. It is very hot, if you know what I mean. Very hot. The sun is radiating too much heat, that even the wind is hiding itself. The dry heat is very unbearable. What more, studying Chemistry under the unfavorable temperature. It could be so fussy, I just knew it. There was this thought popping all in a sudden. Can I have an air-cond? Ah, it's just a thought.

The University thingy. The really final ones, Wisconsin, Purdue, Michigan, and Iowa. Lord, I'm passing all to You. Your will be done and I trust in You. Because Lord, You have the best for me. Hallelujah. And I really thank seniors for helping out a lot. Thanks for the time spent giving all the precious reviews and suggestions. They helped a lot.

You know, I miss her a lot. I miss them a lot. The one and the only, Boston Spring 2010. It's good to hear all the good news from them though. All the best, alright? We shall see each other some day. Yea.

Miss ya, Belle.

This was what we had been doing during the Biology class. 

Mine and Jazzie.

Love can be very simple. At times, it can be very complex. 

Appreciate it. Nourish it. Somehow, it's just a process of life.

You experience it and you know it. Cheers, friend! 

10.10.10

is nevertheless, an usual day. Nothing too special.

A lot of fun crapping with the little, but ain't that little actually, none others than Joseph. He's lame. But adorable. Really laughed a lot at all those jokes, and had so much fun seeing him disappointed when he couldn't get the jokes. First time I knew cheeks would get painful when we laughed too much? LOL.

Church is always, you know, warm and welcoming. And God is always good. Got to actually see and know how things actually function. We faced some technical problems today, and it's just so happened that I was serving at the Skype to witness the whole process. God is faithful that indeed nothing could have actually ceased people from worshiping Him. Holy Spirit was there, the atmosphere was built high up despite of the absence of lcd-lyrics and the lighting effect. Praise The Lord!

You alone are God of all

You alone are worthy Lord

And with all I am

My soul will bless Your name.

A comb. The combing side and the other side of flat surface. Lord said, if you're willing, I'll lead your life through all those obstacles and bring you to the flattened smooth path. If you believe, if you are willing. Let His power and ability be with you. Because in men it may seem impossible, but in God everything is possible! 

Toefl. University. Everything's going to be alright! =)

God is good

all the time! And all the time, God is good! 

Praise The Lord. =)

dealt

Dealt. A lot of it. I don't want to forfeit any more tickets! 

I don't care being a bad student, I want home. I want the Chinese New Year at home, and I mean HOME.

Good, but they said better. Say, best?

*还是认为你最特别 却不再挽回 会心碎的拥抱 适合浅尝不适合深深的沉醉

思

Looking back, the previous post was a bit harsh. Oops.

Everything was over now. So, hopefully no more those kind of ferocious feeling around. 

Two weeks of preparation, two weeks of sleep-depriving, two weeks of happy and unhappy accounts, two weeks of hard work, finally paid off. The exhibition was a great success! Bygone is bygone. Let the past be the past, and the bruise be healed soon. And thank all who came for it! Your presence were really appreciated! A big thank to all the committee members as well. Thank to our caring and thoughtful lecturer! 

UKM Biology Field Trip was exhausting, but fun! Had a great time jungle trekking, feasting, and visiting. Had a great time shooting, with a Canon EOS DSLR. Thank you Aje! And now I think I prefer Nikon more for a DSLR-camera. Canon's functioning is actually not as much. For a digital camera, yesh, I still love Canon! 

I had been sleeping a lot, as a revenge for those lost-sleep. But I'm still sleepy now. You see, how much sleep I had been depriving! And you know, sometime, life can be so screw-ful, sleep actually soothed and eased the frustration. 

突然很想要写华文。

这些天，眼泪特别泛滥。眼泪在落下的同时间，那种本能的自我保护意识无形中愈变愈强。那种时而的戳痛感还是无法避免。知道吗，看着你，眼眶竟然就红了。

生活就是有太多的是非。群体活动无法避免的总会有些摩擦。人就是这么奇怪的生物。谁又多做了什么，谁又少做了什么，真的就这么重要吗。所以说啊，生气的时候，心情不好的时候，还是不要说话。因为你不知道你会说出什么，因为你不知道你所说的话有可能就刺伤了某些幼小心灵。

与其说沉默带来尴尬，不如说它让两颗那么遥远又那么亲近的心带来一些安慰。因为，有时候真的没有必要再说一些什么。因为你也不知道要说一些什么。因为你也知道再多说一些什么也改变不了什么。因为你更清楚知道沉默才是最好的良药。

有的时候，生活不要太过的执著。因为最后受伤的是自己。知道自己努力过久够了，至少往后回头望时，还能很骄傲的对自己说，我曾经也努力过了，结果如何也不再这么重要了。

终于把PS男给看完了。整个就是很感动！差一点就要把整盒的纸巾用完。不知道啊，它就给了很深很深的感触。也可能是在深夜时候看的，所以眼泪才会特别的多吧。最后还是完美的结局，男主角和女主角就快乐的在一起了。偶像剧真的太美化真实生活。现实生活为什么就不能拥有王子与公主的童话故事呢。

生活呢，功课考试接踵而来。大学申请，已经有了大致的概念。最后的决定是 Maryland, Iowa, Penn State, Purdue. 希望是对的选择吧。

这一篇感觉有点不协调。英文掺华文。

知道吗，原来想念真的是会呼吸的痛。

Missing.is.a.pain.of.breathing. 

7448

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL, S.H.I.T.?

YOU ARE A SHIT! S.H.I.T. S.H.I.T S.H.I.T. S.H.I.T S.H.I.T.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

YOU ARE SHIT! DAMN BLOODY FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!! 

I HOPE YOU ARE SNEEZING NOW! SNEEZE UNTIL YOU CHOKE! EWWWWWW!

PLEASE DON'T BE SO SHIT! YOU ARE NOT MIGHTY, BUT YOU ARE A FREAKING COWARD!!! YOU LOSER!!!!! 

S.H.I.T. 7.4.4.8.

bug

This Fall is CRAZY! Damn Ethics! I didn't even sleep so late during Spring! Yes, sleep is a very crucial, very big portion of my life. The length of sleeping very straightly and directly affects the mood of the day! Don't mess with me when I had slept for like so little fucking hours! 

Sucks! Not of the project itself, but of the certain beings, or the being! You suck!! You SUCK!! And I never knew I could dislike a person like so much, until at a point of exaggeratively freaking bad. 

And I guess I'm having a very serious Pre-Menstrual-Syndrome now! 

And this week is going to be a terribly sickeningly freakin' week! 

Life is a shit at this moment!  

(u)

No, the bulgy wasn't due to the depriving of sleep. But of crying. For like an hour? And the blanket and pillow were wet. Miss you(s), who are so near yet so far. The unfamiliarity. You know, I'm actually jealous. 

Busy. At least, something to deal in getting rid of the thought. Not really tired physically, but emotionally. You know, the heart is really painful that I thought I need pain killer to avoid the abrupt malfunction. And it's as though, bleeding. 

Pretended to be very busy, pretended to be very unconcern, pretended to cheat own self. Tears said it otherwise.

I love you(s) still. Days of this kind are killing. As though the self had vanished.

(u) actually means, the broken heart icon.

3am

Bathing at this moment isn't a good thing. *Cannot let mummy know about this!*

It feels refreshing though. The feel of cleanliness. Alright, not that I didn't want to bath earlier, days had been very hectic at this point. And it will progress until I guess, the end of next week. Goodness, I'm going crazy soon! Of sleep-depriving! 

ETHICS. This is what everyone of us is mad with. The exhibition. Okay, so let's promote a bit on it. Yes, the exhibition entitled "A Venture Into The Ancient Egypt". I hope I didn't get it wrong. Held by the Ethics' students of Alabama and Arkansas. Date, 1st October 2010, Friday. Venue, the Old Library, Intec. People, be there! To witness the legend, to amaze in the Egyptian kingdom, to chew the sincere of us, to wow of the every single hard-works! Or, at least, to bow a support for us. We need your supports!

So, I'm in the compartment of Science and Technology. So, all sorts of preparations explain the busyness. Indeed, we're competing with time now. Like, we are making the greatest good use of every single minute, or even second!

Alright, a very short catch up. Shall sleep, and go for Ethics class later on. Ah, Ethics! Ah, Egypt!

独

眼泪很不争气的直流。

机上，小孩放声的大哭。
反而不觉得喧闹。
霎时，羡慕他们，想哭就哭。

行李都还存有家的味道。

突然，人事物都变得很陌生。
原来，寂寞是一个人的事。

hue

Had been staying in Sibu for two weeks and more. You see, how time flew! An intention, or desire to reminisce and type down every single things happened during the past two weeks, for there were indeed, too many wonderful, splendid accounts which shall be etched.

It started off with the spree in One Utama. Cindy and I went all the way from Shah Alam to KL Sentral, while Olivia on her bus traveling all the way down from Ipoh. Thank Olivia for the (repeated) delays of her bus, Cindy and I nearly rot at KL Sentral, Burger King. We had been talking and talking and talking until at one point, we were really exhausted and sleepy. And Olivia still hadn't arrived. Alright, skip the details. By any means, we made our way to One U at the end. And the journey searching for a toy named Gigo began. Had been searching high and low, but sad to say, the mission failed, and a conclusion was made: One U is very BIG.

After that, Fen Fen came and joined us. Her place is just a walking distance from One U. With her recommendation, we had our dinner at Canton-i. Good dinner. Nice food, nice drink, nice place, nice people. Photographs! Lazy to upload them here, so there's the link. After the dinner, we shall be heading back to hostel. Note the word shall be. The plan shuddered and ended up with randomness. We love to be random, don't we? We ended up in the cinema, watching Step Up 3D. It was awesome! Yesh, awesomeness! And lovely, at the same time. Love it!! So, when the movie ended, the curfew had passed as well. We ended up overnight at Fen Fen's place. Thank you, Fen Fen!

The next day, went back to Akasia. Packed, and headed to airport! Took cab, with the occupants spelled Olivia, Polycarp, Kelvin, and I. The uncle was very talkative. Huh. Coincidentally, many friends were taking the same flight. And a friend sitting next to me on the plane. Cool. Had been talking a lot with Jacky, and made it the first time I didn't sleep so much in the plane. Otherwise, sleeping will be the best thing to do in plane, at least for me, it is.

Landed in Sibu, and the splendid days went on. Alright, I'm lazy to list all the details out, so, let's go with some significances.

So, because of some random sayings and comments in Facebook, and a mighty trip was produced. LOL. Rachel came to Sibu! Touring around Sibu was fun! She stayed at my house, nah, we had been sleeping together for two nights! *To whom it may concern: Angelina, Andrew, Siau Ting!* HAHAHA. Thank Rachel for coming, despite all odds (I know, the bus journey wasn't an easy job!). Thank Angelina! Thank Siau Ting! Thank Andrew! So, here goes the link of photographs. And another album of photographs. Let's the pictures speak!

Went back to high school for the Dossier thingy. Had been working on it, like, finally, I'm working on it - all sorts of translations, recommendation letters, certifying stuff. And going back to the place which I used to be in for the past few years, the place with tons of memory instilled, gave a feel of warmth. Everything feels the same way as it used to be. Indeed, high school is a part of life, a very significant part, the teenage-years which mean a lot!

Went for movie Piranha with Ms. Wong and Olivia. Oh my God! The movie was crazy! Yea, people with heart attack shouldn't go for it, really. Well, the movie was censored like really much, making it with the duration of an hour and a half, only. And you know what I told Olivia after the movie? I don't want to go to sea anymore! HAHA. So you see the impact of the movie. Anyway, the storyline was kind of cliche, but I do really love the way they produced the effects of the movie, be it the audio effect or the visual one. Cool! Uh well, like Ms. Wong said, the ending was lame, very lame! A big thank to Ms. Wong for fetching me back after the movie, as well for helping in the recommendation letters!

Along with Ivy, met up with Xin Yi. Whee, look like a Japanese girl already. Haha. As sweet and lovely as always, the trademark of hers. Nice to catch up with you. All the best in Japan alright? Take care! Don't skip meals, you're thin enough. Lol. God bless you abundantly and fruitfully!

Went for the Lantern Festival at the town-square. Wow, it was amazing. Sibu is so beautiful! Sibu peeps out there, must go for a look! Of course, captured a lot of photographs. It's a must, no? Uh, so let the pictures tell how beautiful is the scenery. Browse on the photographs!

Went to collect my Identity Card, or so-called MyKad. Went to bank and something amusing happened. I thought I had 900 bucks or more in that particular account, so I withdrew 900 bucks. And the receptionist said, you have about 500 bucks only. Ouh! I was embarrassed. *blushing* In the end, I just realized the another cheque with the amount of 500 bucks was not banked in to the account. I could have just withdrawn the amount by cash.

Went to my grandparents' house for the advanced lantern festival-celebration. Somehow, I love the way they live. The place, with peaceful tranquility, and closely relates to nature. Even the air feels fresh. People are very warm and somehow, humanitarian. Not to say the people in town or city area are cruel, but the people in the rural area are far more caring, helpful. Everyone is just very well related to everyone else, yes, you know what I mean.

And home. The feel of home, you know how it feels, don't you? The feel of dad, the feel of mum, the feel of siblings. The atmosphere, the temperature, the sound, the LOVE. The everything! 

Holidays officially ended, and class officially starts today. But mine is of the unofficial. *winks* 

I.just.don't.want.to.go.back.so.early.

我。你。他。

世事真的很难料，人生真的很可笑，有时真的想不到，它却真的发生了。

突然想起曾经在某一篇提及的你和他，应该也不算是突然想起，而是因为一些原因所引发的感触。当你和他在同一个时间，同一个地点出现在我面前时，我真的震惊了！诗巫真的就如此这么的小吗？

感叹的是，还是不能够很勇敢的去面对。可悲。就在那一线之间，顿时间很郁闷，很没劲，那原本很高涨的情绪一瞬间消失无影。那原本很美味的食物也仿佛瞬间变得淡而无味。可笑的自己，真的很可笑。

你的身边是她，一个大家都很欣赏的她。虽然很清楚知道你和她真的只是很好的朋友，心却还是揪着的痛了一下。明明是这么近的距离，你和我却似乎很有默契的什么也没说。但是你知道吗，在眼神对到的那一秒钟，我真的晕眩了一会儿。

真 的，就这么这么近的距离，却似乎这么这么远的两颗心。幸好的是，选择了比较靠边的位置，中间隔了一个人，才让自己不会太过份的紧张与窒息。但是却这么不争 气的一直偷偷瞥向你，一直很努力的想要听听你的声音。依然是那把很熟悉的属于你的声音，那强而有力让人很舒服的你的声音。

我和他，你和她。霎时，明白了，晓得了。原来，你真的无法被他取代。而对于他，再一次的了解。感觉还在，但是却轻易轻巧的被你打败。也明白，对他，应该不会有那一种的刻骨铭心。

刚刚又再一次的看见你。真的感叹，诗巫好“大”！这一次，他不在，她也不在。一走进那熟悉的地方，眼神冷不防的触礁在那很熟悉的脸孔。我觉得，嗯，准确来说，我希望你没有发现到 我。很快的找了一个你应该看不到的地方坐下，然后想起今天是星期日。啊！应该想到你一定会去那里的。

歌词这么写：真的情真的爱，无法用言语说。原来是真的。它无法被形容，只能细细的品茗那种丝丝心动，丝丝心痛的感觉。

我。你。他。

生命譜上，这么一个独特的音符，真的让我晕眩，让我窒息。

但，选择相信，时间可以疗伤。坚信，一切都会很好，再给我一点时间。

我，你，他，都会很好！

sound

Life is very the great now! Yes, it has been treating me well. Alright, everything is good. Home is fantastic!

Flight landed on Sibu last Saturday's night, 9pm. Safely and soundly, I smelt Sibu. Flight was good, with the fact that there were bundles of known friends around, and a friend had his seat just beside my seat itself. It was like, of course, most of the people were heading home during this very festive season, which is also known as the holidays; but meeting number of friends in airport was somehow, amazing. Yesh, met with high school's friends and started blasting off and somehow, dominated the whole LCCT. The spirit of the Eliza's princesses? HAHA.

You know what? Sibu had been raining everyday since I was back. The weather is just so refreshing. I'm just so loving it! Sibu is just so welcoming, and you feel the close-knit when people around start babbling away in Foochow. Well, I, or rather, my family joined a common-knowledge-competition held by the Lau's Association on the past Sunday. No more the category of secondary school's students this time, but the category of open ages, which means there were people with all ranges of age, uh well, they're mostly the elders. I guess I'm the youngest amongst all. Yea, that's the point. They were all talking in Foochow, and it just felt, you know, warm.

Recently, am hooked on PSP, like crazily! Alright, PSP is a great invention. As well as the other series of Play Station. Haha. Appreciate much for these inventions! Had been eating lots of fishes and fruits these days, which I really missed eating and which I couldn't have, but was so desperate of in Shah Alam. Had been crapping a lot. Had been watching a lot of movies. Had been working a little bit on dossier. Had been consuming the two well-knowns of Sibu: kampua and kompia. Had been attending a family function. Had been playing badminton with brother and sisters. Had been taking the photographs of sunset with my sister.

Alright, it's Thursday now. It's meant to be special for, you know what, Rachel is coming to Sibu! We had been planning this thingy for the past few days and we were like so exaggeratedly excited!! LOL. You see, it just happens, out of random. But I guess it's going to be fun! So, yay, I and Angelina are going to be tour guides. Hahaha. We had been thinking and sorting out where should we bring Rachel to, and guess what, Sibu actually got quite a lot of places to go to! Oh my God, I'm hyped! Seriously, I am. See you soon, Rachel! *winks*

Raya is approaching. So, Happy Raya people!

ecstasy

Alright, mid term was done! Coming up, holidays! Home!! Wheeeeee!

Yes, I'm excited, like really really much! Life is going to be wonderful. *grins*

Flight will be on Saturday. Before that, am going to meet with Olivia. Heh. One U, I'm coming. Yeah, the last shot on this Mega Sales. I hadn't really shop yet.

Packing luggage. This feels, extremely, good! HAHA.

Nah. It's merely a post, simply showing how great I'm now. I'm very happy, very joyous! Heeeee.

That's all. Catch up later.

splash

So, this is the Independence day of Malaysia! Happy Independence Day, Malaysians!

Life had been very happening, or life sucks at a big portion. Big issue, the racism issue which had been heatedly said. Medium issue, the vague but somehow, obvious argument between certain people with another group of certain people. Small issue, the personal conflict with certain kinds of sarcasms. 

Had been very bad lately, honest speaking. Somehow, been rebellious. I don't know why, though. Nah, I skipped class, without any proper reason. Just didn't want to go, and that's so! Didn't want to talk to the certain people, and that explains the appearing offline at Facebook, MSN, Skype. I just don't want to talk with you, don't want to reply the comments! Don't want, because you are freakishly frustrating me! Everything you do is frustrating, disgusting! You see, I really feel the bad-self. Didn't want to study, with the fact that the mid-term is approaching, in a real soon.

Why, the heart still minds, when the mouth says never mind? This is seriously, bitchy! Why are you haunting me all of the whiles! You said you understand the pain, yet, you torture on the bruise, like never before. You think you're so good? May be, you are, under your layers of masks! Again and again, the bruise won't get healed, but get worse and worst, because of your again-and-again-torturing! Hypocrite! I hate you bitch! 

Don't ever brag like there's no tomorrow, with the properties or possessions which are not even belonged to you! Ewwww. Life sucks, at this moment! Everything just seems to be so shit. Damn it damn it damn it! And why the weather is so bloody warm! Freaking hell! Don't you, the weather also come and bother me at this very instant! Eeeeeeeee!

Why am I the one who shall bear all the pain and tear, while you grab all the comfort and joy!? You know, I really hate you from deep inside at this moment. You don't deserve to say you know, you understand! If you want it, what for, at the first place, you said you didn't want, you didn't feel interested? Why! You, tell me why!! 

I remembered telling a friend that I sleep when I'm not in a good mood. You know, I had been sleeping really much these days! Too much that I scared I may die of sleep. It's because of you!! Please, stop bragging, stop haunting me! Stop all of your childish acts! Stop wearing masks on your ugly face! 

Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred.

I don't want to be bad. Please. Chill me. 

I'll be fine, soon.

Are you okay?

Are you okay? This line means a lot, if you know.

Life is so much unpredictable. Things turned out to be the way they shan't be. Who's right? Who's wrong? Human beings are imperfect, after all. There are too many blaming fingers, here and there. Be yourselves. Friend, you have my vote with you! It's just difficult to please each and everyone. And in fact, it's impossible for us to please everyone, but of the utmost, we do things to please God! So, go ahead, doing things, following the right paths, following God's will, instead of people's wills. Cheers!

Malacca-a-day-trip turned out to be not as exciting as expected. And that's why, life is so much unpredictable, no? Perhaps the second time being there was not more tempting? A part of the reasons, yes it was. Deep inside, I know there's another part lying. I hate myself for the skepticism. Overall, the trip was still kind of good. Thank God for a safe journey. The deepest gratitude to all of the committee members as well. You guys are awesome. You did a great job!

Adventurous treasure hunt in Sunway Pyramid turned out to be way too much amazing than the expectancy. And that's why, again, life is unpredictable. It was fun! It was a very similar game as what we did last time, at my church back at hometown. And it brought back all the bits of memory. Thank God for a great carenet! Thanks a million to those who came and joined the event. Thank you to the dedicated organizers. Thank you to my group's members! I really had fun working with you guys!

Life is way too much unpredictable that when I thought I was dead exhausted and should have gone into slumber land, but then the scene turned out to be a round of downpour, of the so-called, tear. You see, the theory of gravity is so right. Tear dropped downwards, even when I was lying. It just couldn't keep itself in the eyes. At an instant, I was so hating myself. Why it just couldn't be pulled through? I was tired of all pretenses. I'm really not as tough and brave. I mind, when I said I don't mind.

什么时候 坚强不再是种伪装？

it stings

Title says it all. It stings, freakishly, exaggeratedly.

Tear dropped when water came in contact with the bruise. It's chillingly painful.

:'(

恙

最近，该怎么形容呢？烦，又不全然是。好，又似乎相差好远。生活就是蓄着太多的惊喜，好的，不好的，排山倒海。

狠狠的哭过，狠狠的笑过，然后一切回归那条生命水平线上。

哭过，所以知道笑的可贵。

笑过，所以知道生活不仅仅存着笑。

太多时候，廉价的泪水似抵不住地心吸力，就这么轻易的往下滑落。

发现，自己异常的极端。极端得，要嘛就跟你无话不说，要嘛就与你互不相干。是你伤害了我，又一笑而过，你还奢望我装着什么也没发生？

但是有些时候，还是在乔装。其实，好讨厌这样的自己。为什么要装着无所谓，却傻傻的躲在人群后哭泣。为什么还是那么的在乎，以为自己可以忍受一切的时候，却在转身而过的时候，眼泪决堤。

生活，太多的是是非非。

学长/姐与学弟/妹？有些时候，或每一个时候，可曾听过，无风不起浪？

人与人之间，太多的是非。太多的悲欢离合。

最近，与很多的朋友重逢，名义上，在这所谓的面子书上重逢。岁月不饶人，沧海桑田，时过境迁。哈哈，我在乱用成语。看到之前在教会的弟兄姐妹的一些结婚照，一些步入成为爸爸妈妈的，看到这些幸福的照片竟然有一种莫名的感动。

偶然，看到你的照片。竟有一种很莫名的紧张。那段时间拥有太多的回忆。这些回忆足以用一生慢慢回味。年少的我们拥有过这般的疯狂，这般的欢笑。不禁感慨，时间叔叔好残忍！

最近，常常有同样的荡漾。却是另外一个他。常常却觉得，你不应该被他取代。潜意识里一直在说服自己并不在乎他。直到某一天，为了这个他懊恼泪洒满脸，然后一个朋友说，你的眼泪出卖了你。或许？哭过，就好了。最后，决定，放开。放开多一点，伤害就少一点。决定，真的不要再为这件事让自己不开心。

生命中，感恩有这些不同类型的朋友。

这些何时都带来快乐的朋友。虽然，大多的时候，都在废话连篇。太过喧哗而被这所谓的宿舍管理员警告，一起战战兢兢的说对不起。

另外一些可以陪着一起哭的朋友。清楚的知道自己的习性，有些时候会怀疑，似乎比起自己你更加清楚的了解我。会因为一个眼神，知道我在想什么。

生命中，更加的感恩，有一位可以依赖的主！

他是信实的主。他永远都知道你在面对着什么。他永远都会在恰恰好的时候触摸你。感谢主，再一次的触摸我，那是真真实实的感受，真真切切的淋浴在那丰盛的慈爱中。那温柔的手轻轻的触摸着伤口，伤口就愈合。

在无数的黑夜里，我用星星画出你。

你的恩典如晨星，让我真实的见到你。
在我的歌声里，我用音符赞美你，你的美好是我今生颂扬的。
这一生最美的祝福，就是能认识主耶稣。

这一生最美的祝福，就是能信靠主耶稣。
走在高山深谷，他会伴我同行，我知道这是最美的祝福。

久违了的华文。轻轻淡淡的属于它的气息。

妈咪说，诗巫涨水了。哦！终究，因为它是诗巫。

顿时，想家了。

care but concern

Life is happening every now and then, with a lot of fun, a lot of sorrow, a lot of laughter, a lot of cry, a lot of everything. And this is what life meant to be.

Had a hair cut recently. Got back the short hair, got back the fringe as what mummy wants.

Life is getting hectic. Lab reports, quizzes, tests are approaching. And of the utmost, the application thingy. Ah, so it's the time now. Cliche, but indeed, time flew. I felt so scared of leaving when browsing through those photographs before departure. Wept like dumb ass, in the fact that those were none of my business, like, at all. Departure is always sad, I know, that I'm still trying hard of getting used to.

There was a book fair in INTEC today. And ouh! The books are so exaggeratedly cheap! Grabbed two great books which I was so happy of. Patricia Cornwell's The Front, and Audrey Niffenegger's Her Fearful Symmetry. Cool man cool! Both are amongst the favorite writers of mine. Wheeee. 

And owh, there was PC Fair some other days before. PC Fair in KL is cool, what I'd tell. Despite any odds, or of course, I went for it. And hah! My aim, EOS550D!! I want i want i want! Desperate. Bought a hard drive, anyway. 640G, for Rm239. Went for Salt on the same day, which I remembered clearly for we met Zaim at the cinema. Nah, this guy, is still so Zaim-ism. HAHA. Oh yay, Salt was great. Love it!

Lots of things went on in the classes too. Of Chemistry, when I forgot to wear closed-shoes for lab, and I kept calling peeps for a closed-shoes. Lol. Of Biology, when I and Jazz were so vain taking photographs and left Rachel to do the works. Nahh, we are cool scientists what. It's so funny when the other people asked for our group's result, Jazz and I answered, "ask Rachel!", like so naturally and confidently some-more. HAHAHA. And when doing the experiment for protists, we failed to see anything under the microscope and blamed the microscope. Lol. But yea, seriously I think I'm not a lab-person. Of Finite Maths then, the class which I really like the most. The class of 10 people, including the lecturer. Oh my God, is that even can be called a CLASS? Haha. You know what I mean.

I think I have too much outings these days. And I shall claim bankruptcy soon. Okay I'm exaggerating. But somehow, yea. Blame this culprit which is so-called, Mega Sales. But I'm so desperately loving it. HAHA.

And now this is the fasting month for Malays. We had this buka puasa-dinner with Mr. Kamal and the Spring's Bostonians. Awww. Love 'em, love these peeps like really really much! Yea, the catch-ups were good. The food was good, at least, my Spaghetti Carbonara. Heee. And we had the gossips about juniors. Owhh. By any means, I really didn't expect myself to cry for the night. But then failed. Uhh. Tears rolled when Aween hugged me and it rolled profusely when hugging with each and everyone of them. Awww. I'm gonna miss them much! Take care in the States guys! Enjoy and stay awesome as always!!  

The other day, we had this home-cooked meal at a brother's house. Wow. It's like so long since I last had a meal with the feel of home. Thanks a million to Alan!! The dishes were awesome! 

The other thing is, I'm editing the ECA TV for this particular month. A new experience. And had come to realize how things work. How things work out with all the other things in His Kingdom. 

Anyhow, I think I had been very sensitive for the past few days. And the thought was, PMS. Nah, it proves to be correct. Eeee. Somehow I do really feel bad about the stuff. Not that I'm complaining, in fact I'm complaining? Haih. This ain't easy. You never know until you experience it. So guys, please be considerate! 

Sometime, guys just won't know, girls' smiles or happiness they see are filled with overloaded sadness. They just won't see or notice about the other side of things. 

She doesn't care because she concerns way too much.

+

When she says she hates, that matters, like really much. Eeeeee. I hate hypocrites! You spoil my day! Please. Be too hypocritical that you think what a bullshit excuse you give is convincing? Ewwwww. Disgusting Frustrating Filthy you! 

The disobedient tears has been really disobedient. Cry the heart out. Shed the grievance off. 

And I shall forgive you. And love you as how I love myself. 

Lord I need You. 

I've no idea of why the title comes up to be + though. Whatever.

July in a whole

Wow unbelievably it's August already!

Time flew. It really flew that as if a month had passed in a glimpse.

Classes and lessons began. Things are getting packed. Life is getting hectic.

InPRO was done. ADFP/ACTP dominates no more. And yea, we lost. But what, we had fun! That's what matters no? Kudos to all of the paraders! We did our best! 

Life is fun. And it's miserable in certain sense. People out there, please behave as ones who you shall be okay? Don't be so exaggerated! Gosh, it's damn frustrating!! Are you that desperate? Ewww!

And please, spell the word R-E-S-P-E-C-T!! Everyone has dignity! She may not voice out the dissatisfaction, for she doesn't wish anyone to know that she'd been hurt, but please, don't scratch on the scar, or even, spread salts on the unhealed scar, again and again. 

Intentional, or unintentional bias or favor is very hurting. Indeed. You thought you'd been doing so much, but then in the end, people still ignore, and the bias still doesn't go to you. And what if the favor goes to someone you love, or you care? It's sort of, difficult for ignoring and acting as if nothing has happened.

Urgh. 

Had been kind of emo.

Great things still go around, despite of those frustrating stuff. They are yet to come, lots more of them! 

Belle my dearest house-mate came back! Owhh. Love ya babe!! And met Aween too, when she came for InPRO the other day! Awww. Love y'all.!!! These peeps are so lovable. I'm sure missing you so much after this. Aww.

Serving in Sunday's school was a very different and fresh experience. Kids are so lovely. Kids are so true, or pure. I was still kind of scared, for I was not really fond in dealing with kids. But then, it turned out to be fine. A very different kind of blessing within it. 

Loads more things to be scribbled. Nahh. I shall really keep track with my blog.

This much for now. Class is starting soon.

Catch up later.   

of somethings

Right now I'm in computer lab of INTEC's library, with a very fresh mind, but a very empty tummy. Yesh, I'm hungry.

Well, class is going to start at 12 noon. Came to INTEC at around 10am, for there is no bus after 10am. Good thing is I really feel energetic and fresh now. And so that's why I don't like 8am class. Just let me sleep a little bit longer and I will be good.

I think I should take up the habit of keeping track on my blog. I remembered I told a friend, I blog to record my life. It will be a path to reminisce after all. And this traced to a question the friend asked, what does actually photographs mean? Frankly, my answer was just the same as why I blog, to capture the memory, to trace with my life. Photographs tell everything. Yea. I love photography.

Owh. before forgetting, I must say, Inception was nice! It was great! People, it was a must-watch!! Two and a half hours in cinema, and you feel like you had gone through so much suspects, thrills, excitements. I was like, sort of stunned with the movie. It was just great! And yay, this is what I call a real movie!! Woots. I just love this kind of movie!

INPRO is coming up. ADFP dominates? Hopefully. Haha. Am joining parade. Kind of looking forward to it. All the best people!

The new semester was so far so good. Lecturers are good, and humorous. A Malay lecturer speaks Mandarin, Foochow, Hokkien! Wow isn't that amazing? One sad thing is, there isn't any English subject for the semester. All the Science subjects are coming up though. I shall really work hard for this semester.

Church services were good and very anointed. Frequently I see something. Passion. Anytime, anywhere, I shall keep my initial passion for God. And the childish-pure heart for God! Sometime, truly, don't complicate life so much. Think plainly in everything, life will be much more easier.

Another thing is, my hair is getting longer and longer. And this bothers me. I don't know shall I cut it or the other way. Any opinion?

And yay, I changed the blog's skin. The template and the layout as well. Hopefully it looks better? 

I'm a tumbler, tumbling in the world, in the life.

soup of love

So, the freshie day was done. The freshie day we had anticipated so much was done. Praise is to the almighty Lord! Hallelujah!

17th July 2010. It was a very beautiful morning. It was a very warm morning, which of course, warmth of the weather, and the utmost, warmth of people, love of people. It was indeed a very lovely morning.

Photographs were up to Facebook! Here's the link! And another album, here goes the link!

committee members

freshies!

A morning to be remembered. A memory not to be forgotten. All those preparation, discussion, planning, practice were worth remembering. 

It's all because of love. God's love is just great. Power of love is amazing. Let the chain of love flow, through each and everyone of us. And that we'll see how love is going to bring transformation and revival!!

Not forgetting, again, thanks a million to all who directly or indirectly participated the event. Thanks to everyone who made to join. Thanks to all members and leaders. Thanks for all the prayers and concerns. Thanks to all the committee members. Thanks God for everything!! For we believe, without God's guiding and leading, the day wouldn't turn up to be what it was. Hallelujah Praise The Lord!!

LOVE is going to bring miracles!

ashes

Hadn't update for a very long time. While, out of the blue, I read back my own posts and I came over one which said, a new year's resolution for myself: a post per day at this site. Uh-huh. And only two posts for the entire month of June? Haha.

Time flew, in a very very fast pace. Summer ended, and fall started. 

Some recap. 

ATU Night. An annual grand night for ADFP-ians. Everyone looked grand! Heeee. Enjoyed, although it wasn't as grand as the other colleges' so-called annual dinner or prom. And although not each and everyone was joining it. And nahh, ADFP has a lot of hot and sexy peeps too! LOL. Here's the link for the photographs!

 

Karaoke session with few hard core of singing peeps. Hadn't go for karaoke for quite some time. So, had an enough and satisfying singing session. 

A day out with Spring's Bostonians and our beloved Mr. Kamal to Mid Valley. And now I really miss them. Spring 2010's Bostonians! We had all the memories which were solely possessed by ourselves, no one shall ever take them off from us! And most of these peeps are going to fly off soon. All the best friends! All the best in the States! Always and always miss y'all and love y'all.!!

Two weeks of summer break came to its end, in a so hectic and rushing manner. Holidays is never enough, no matter how long it may be. Or, is it somehow, I've grown to be so sluggish and lazy after much relaxing? And, seriously, my biological clock shall be reset. Shouldn't wake up in the noon time more, yay, not more. 

Two-weeks-break, a not really productive, but kind of a satisfying and packed break. Some significance?

Endless dramas, movies, series. More than enough of sleeping. Match! And yeah, Spain won! I would say the thing which really caught my attention wouldn't mainly the match itself, but the prediction thingy. Paul the octopus! Hah! It was kind of funny, and indeed, very catchy that caught lots of attentions. LOL. Alright, I remembered a friend once said, don't bother the prediction thingy, but the octopus itself looks tasty! HAHAHA.

Went to Bangi, and paid a visit to court! Weee. It was a very different experience though. And Kajang's satay's trip! Hah. And the stay in Subang throughout the week. And if you would know, it seriously made me, like so much to not come back to Shah Alam. But, do I actually have a choice to choose from? Uhh. Be grateful and appreciative though!

A day feasting at Empire's Pasta Zanmai, the place where Guo Bing works. Nice food. Pizza with scallop was heavenly yummy! And the 30 percents-cooked egg! Aha. And another day of Korean food at PJ. Ouh nice! 

Another day out with Audrey! Awwww. We hadn't been meet up, for like so freakishly long time! Finally, and finally, made it to meet up with her at Pyramid. Although it was just a very short meeting, I did enjoyed. I liked it when you asked about the particular guy, hah, you still remember it. And I liked when we talked about guys, hahaha, gossiping is what girls do best at, no? LOL. Cherished the moments. Love ya!

Some outings with Chris, who is now somewhere at the rural Bangi. Awww. Enjoyed shopping with him, somehow. And the other day of tripping to Shah Alam. Settled his setem hasil thingy, and settled my bank islam thingy. Anyways, all the best for all of your future undertakings and may God bless you abundantly in whatever you're doing! Will miss ya! Strive well in Bangi. Haha.

Working experience with Miu. Aha. I followed Miu to her office, literally I was working, working on PPS and Facebook. LOL! Did helped her out too, although not really much. Enjoyed eating the 80 cents' ice-cream though. Haha.

All the preparation and practicing for our freshie event. It's not an easy job, but yea, God reigns! Another few days countdown to the real date of it. So, the last striving for it and we proclaim it shall be a great victory for God! We declare we can reach the targeted number of people! Foe we know God is with us. We're not doing all this by our own ability, but by His mighty power! Pray for everything! Pray for all of these preparation beforehand, pray for the progress on the day, pray as well for the follow-ups after the event. Pray that souls are retrieved for God! Amen!

And something God had shown to me. Something which I had been praying so hard for. Thank you Lord! Something gained, patience. Wait for God's timing, and what's yours will be yours! He knows what is good for you, at the exactly correct timing. 

Sometime, really, spend some personal time with Him. God loves us to have fellowship with Him. He always wants us to enjoy in His love divine. He always wants us to embrace in His abundant grace and mercy. Love Him, praise Him, worship Him whenever and wherever we are. Praise and worship to Him shall not be refrained by any time frame limitation or venue limitation. Really, spend some quality time with Him. Something great is going to happen.

New semester is going to start in a real soon. Fall 2010. Arkansas. And being a senior. This is it. 

Strive hard, said to myself!

breakthrough

I had had only a very single post for the, almost, whole month of June, unbelievably. 

What had happened to me, seriously? My days were so packed, so busy, during this very season of summer. 

I have no idea of why, but I really screwed my summer, I mean, in my academic performance. Somehow, sad. Yea, I did. And felt like so sorry for some people. I'm sorry.

Realized that, emotion is irresistible. Yea, may be you can suppress and deal with it in the beginning; but, the duration won't be long. Some day, it'll overflow, when you really can't resist with it any longer.

And is it, unconsciously and unsoundly, turning into a habitual schedule?

And is it, pretense to be so good that, as if, either one is blind, or the other is invisible?

You know what? The words like sad, depressed, are like, futile already. Instead, it's death, the dying off of a heart, which after a lot of pain, a lot of attempts, yet, everything is malfunctioning, and eventually the heart, or the will dies off, and the numbness creeps and attacks, that everything feels normal as though it's what it was. Whilst, in the deep inside, you know it wasn't. But, you know also, coherently, nothing can be done. And you choose to let it be in the end, with the faith of believing time can heal the bleeding heart. 

But is that really the case? If that is, there wouldn't be piles and piles of tissue papers lying around. If that is, there wouldn't be a pair of bulgy eyes on an emotionless face. If that is, there wouldn't be a passionate heart growing cold. If that is, there wouldn't be hypocrite with smile on the face but tears in the heart.

I'm sad, you know? 

Or, do you even care?