I am tired. Really tired. Mentally. I can't take this. No more.
One of another cruelty a person can do to herself is really the cowardliness to face the real self. She thought she will be fine without committing to that pathetic reality. Yes she looks extremely well in front of everyone. She looks deceivingly fine even in front of herself. She really has no gut to take off that little piece of mask which covers, which wraps everything up so nicely. She makes herself busy to avoid a disease called "over-thinking". She helps people to solve a lot of problems. But she never knows how to fix her own problem. So the only way to fix it is to avoid it. Keep avoiding it. To a point that she feels the problem is gone. To a point when the tote of silence has become the best disguise and everyone is extremely good with it.
So why break the tote?
如果结局早已命定，我不会让自己经历这些痛。
