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February 28, 2010

bless

I accidentally fell down in the toilet last night. I don't know why but I slipped at the instant, and couldn't manage to balance myself, and in a second, I fell. And the point is that my buttock is aching now. A serious kind of ache. Sob.

It's Chap Goh Mei today. The 15th of the month, which indicates also the ending of Chinese new year's celebration. And it's so happened that I find out that today is also lunar Valentine's day. Haha. Happy Chap goh mei and happy Valentine's day!!

The following week is going to be a tough week. Mid-term exam. Lord, strengthen me! I need You. Good luck to me and to all who are going to sit for exam. Pray hard. Eat well. Sleep well. Read hard. Specially to Ivy, really really best of luck to you in your final!! God bless you. And to Angelina, best of luck too in the coming exams. Lay full faith in God! Jesus loves you. And I love you. I declare in the name of Jesus, everything is going to be alright!

凭信心向他宣告,向他领取!一切的不义都要奉主的名字粉碎,苦独的心灵得以释放!阿门!

February 26, 2010

unpredictable

Today's carenet was great. A new kind of sight-seeing. A good fellowship among us. A good contact with nature. A good day of perspiration. A good experience of virtue-winter, with temperature of -2 degree Celsius.

Life is just so unpredictable. The moment before you are laughing your ass off, and the next moment you are mourning like hell. Due to certain reason, I did. I was really happy in the morning. But, I was really sad after that. I nearly cried my eyes out. A big pile of tissue paper is lying on my table.

The point is that, I feel so minute. People are just minute. We never know what will happen at the next second. We never know what is going to happen, we never know how to expect things which are going to fall on us. We never know.

Lord, we need You. It's like, so desperately. You are the King of nation. You are the King above all the others. Your name is lifted and exalted high. We need You. May your grace shower us. May your healing fall on us. May your mercy pour on us abundantly; for we are sinful, but You, and only You are holy. Let us be strong. Let us stand firm. Let us stay stiff.

Stay strong and tough. I am awkward in comforting (I am so going to pray for wisdom in comforting words). But you know what, I will be always there for YOU.

February 25, 2010

healing

Revival meeting just now was great! God, you are so great, you are so true. You are a healing God. We saw a lot of healing happened, with You guiding over us. We saw a lot of tears shed, with You touching on us.

We just can't afford to not have God in our life. Any single second without Him will be so wrong right? At least for me, it is. At least, it was what I learned. Going back to church, I felt the connection again. Connection with these awesome brothers and sisters. The warmth, the comfort. They are what I seek for, to escape from the stressful life I am having now.

I don't know why. But it seems I have been holding things too tight, until I feel so stressful, so suffocating. God touched me in the prayer session, via Jemima's prayer. I knew. I felt it, so coherently. I know God loves me. I know He never abandons. I know He healed me. I know He is going to make impossibles possible. I prayed for a baby-heart, which is pure, without much contaminating. I prayed for wisdom to handle emotions, I prayed for wisdom to solve problems, I prayed for wisdom to not magnifying difficulties. I prayed for that certain stuff, which had been bothering me these few days. I prayed for you as well. I felt a lot and a lot better after the service. I know I am healed. Praise The Lord.

We love because God loves us first. We got to use God's love to love people. Even if the people you are dislike of? Yea, even if that's so. It's kind of hard? But with God, it's possible! There's nothing impossible in God!

It was a great service, indeed. Hallelujah.

refuge

Life is very dumb now. I don't know why. Everything feels so fishy.
Things just seem hopping off. They just couldn't go back to the normal paths.

People are facing their own problems. Everyone just seems to cope with lots of challenges.

I am still home-sicking. It's also why my life seems so disorganized now.
My body is in Shah Alam. But my heart is still left in Sibu. So does the soul.

I love a saying of a friend. When things go wrong, when things get tough, the best solution is to PRAY. And I love particularly a verse from Psalm. Psalm 62:8, "Trust in Him at all times, pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." REFUGE. It's a word which sounds so good, extremely. Again, it's faith. Always lay full faith in God, trust in Him at all times! And yea, we have gotten, like, so many problems in our daily life. And it's what meant by "pour out your hearts to Him". Tell God your problems, seek help from Him, for what? For He is our refuge, our eternal refuge which won't fade away.

Anything is bothering you? Go ahead to a good sleep. Go ahead passing your sorrows to God. Go ahead to get over them. Go ahead showering in God's abundant grace and blessings. In the name of Jesus, I declare that everything is going to be alright! Amen!

February 24, 2010

don't

Sometime I feel it. The fishy thing is going around. Sometime I don't mean it. But you make me to think the other way. Do you know that sometime you are selfish? And a lot of times you reveal hypocrite in yourself. It is the point which I have really felt gut of. I only grow to dislike two kinds of people- hypocrite people and biased people. Please don't let me dislike you. I don't want to use the word "hate". That is a strong word, which I am scared that I will regret for it someday later.

Please don't. I still love you.

February 23, 2010

differentiation

Dealing with differentiation. Dealing dealing dealing. Product and quotient rule. Chain rule. Implicit and explicit. LOL.

Today got back the Biology tests papers. Just as what I had expected, my marks suck. Hah. Should really study for the next test!

HOT

WHY THE WEATHER IS SO DAMN HOT??!!!

HOT

HOT

HOT

HOT

HOT

ARRRRGHHHHHHH.

February 22, 2010

fan

After the Chinese new year's break, which is also known as the mid-semester break for ADFP-ians, everything goes back to its normal path. Days by days of studies, assignments, presentations, quizzes, tests. Everything shall be alright, I hope. A new start perhaps? I'm really going to boost myself up. All the best!

A new start perhaps? I bought a fan, as it's really way too hot. The heat is killing, literally.


fan. :P

February 21, 2010

CNY

Eventually, inevitably, Chinese New Year's a-week-holidays came to an end. The week passed in hectic, in joy, in comfort, in packed, in content. It was a special Chinese new year among all of the others. It was the year I learned a lot of things. It was the year when I cried too much during this joyous festive season, and then came to a realization that days still went on, what to do was bringing the lessons to be the guide in life. It was also the year, God's grace is enough for me! He never abandoned, but kept showing His ways via a lot of things.

Chinese new year's eve, 13rd February. I had the day spent with Siau Ting and Dina. We went on KTM to KL Sentral. Then, met up with Siau Ting's sister. We had our lunch, and other stuffs to let the time pass. Our bus to KLIA was at 3pm. I had a good sleep on the bus, by the way. Once reached, checked-in, settled down, we sat and wait for boarding. And it was so happened to be when we were queuing, I saw a guy in front of me with his boarding pass which stated his seat of 14C; while my seat was 14D, and Siau Ting and Dina 14A and 14B respectively. I asked him whether I could change the seat with him. Hah! So, that was it. We had the chance to sit together in a row. Thank you, though I didn't know who are you. We landed at Kuching around 8something-pm. There was a stop at Kuching before transiting to Sibu. When I landed at Sibu's airport, finally, it was nearly 10pm. And that was when I had my reunion dinner. I was still grateful.

I guess I am not going to list out my routines. But just to highlight some important things. Just as mentioned, I learned a lot of things during this Chinese new year. There was a particular being who impressed me a lot. She is a close friend of my mum. She is a tough lady, she impresses people, she touches my heart, and she is a great testimonial for God. From her, I am once again reminded of the sacrificial love of a mother. A mother will always put the main focus on her children, without caring on herself, even if she suffers from certain things, she still ignores the pains, with the priority that her child is taken good care of. From her also, I learned the matter of acceptance. Somethings bad may happen on us; we couldn't do anything when bad things really fall on us, but to accept, and experience God's plan. With this, it links to another significant thing which I clearly see from this friend of my mum. God has His purpose in everything we face. Don't blame when we face certain really bad things in life, God has His purpose and way. We may lose something or someone we are precious of, that's really bad right, but on the other hand, we gain, something valuable that couldn't be measured by wealth. I love this aunty! She really impressed me a lot.

Another two important things- friends and family. I couldn't deny how imperative they are to me. I love you all. And I know I always miss you all. Sharon! Who said I didn't miss you?! Yea, just as you said, friends, we have a lot, but true ones, we have little. And I know now, what is friend, who is friend, at least to my own definition, and to my own destiny. Family just could have been the same goer. You never know how much you mean to me. I promised myself not to cry, but again, I failed. Yesterday when I bid goodbye to my grandmum, my tears fall before I could finish my sentence. And, when I went in to the boarding room, I didn't have the courage to turn my head back to see my mum. I knew, my tears was just too disobedient to be hold. I love thee, I love but thee, with a love that shall not die, till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old!

And I am so going to talk about my yesterday, which was dated 20th February. What I could say is God is with me all the time! Praise The Lord!! Thanks God for my safe journeys from Sibu to Kuching, and from Kuching to KL. Thanks God for placing such a good experience of staying at a friend's aunt's house. I was all alone yesterday, that if I didn't meet my frined, I would need to stay in Kuching's airport for the whole day. Siew Bing, thank you!! And thanks her aunt's family too! They are such a kind family, hosting me so well. And I would believe that I would never forget the family- the kind uncle and aunty, the cute Sean, and also the caring Amber. Thanks guys!

Just before I forgot, there's another being to thank for. Linda! Thank you!! I love you! Hah! You know what I am referring to. And I am serious about the matter that you have grown prettier and prettier. LOL! If you would have read about this/? But I do really admire you deep from my heart. All the best to you in your future undertakings. Pursue what you would like to do courageously and faithfully. You can do it!

So, now, it all passed. It's once again, the time to come back to the hectic life of studies, the time to face things which are unwilling to face, the time to leave beloved family, friends. I will see you after approximately 7 months. It's LONG, I know. I hope I can bear with it. Bless me.

Lastly, a bit late, but still, Happy Chinese New Year 2010!! Cherish the days and wish all have a prosperous and blessed year ahead!!

/It's kind of long. ;)

February 11, 2010

darn

I would say that, now, it all comes to an end, a temporary end. With the end of the Business test, I can finally RIP. Huh! Happy, yea. But I feel so dumb now. I want to go home! I feel so bad to resist the temptation, which is burning so eagerly. There are two more days, you know? TWO more days, exclusive today. It's going to be decades man! Why? And I'm going to miss the reunion dinner. What a cruel world it is!

And I'm really really dumb now. Last night I cried, a cry which I would never expect of, and yet a tremendous cry. A couples of reasons for it. But I felt so dumb ass. I wanted to stop crying, and may be I did. But it lasted a while. And started to shed again. It was so chill right? I couldn't help.

静静地听,静静地看,静静地想,你的可贵。

February 10, 2010

呵呵

每一次的离别都好伤心,尽管只是很短的分开。人真的是很奇怪的生物,总喜欢跟比较亲密,比较喜欢的人腻在一起;而却一点也不想跟其他的一些人在一起,即使自己会觉得孤单,也不会那么做。现在,有一股很想哭的冲动。怎么办,眼泪很不听话地蹦腾而下,明明就没什么好哭的啊。哎!

也许就让眼泪流吧,哭过就好了。我开始想你了!呵呵!

February 7, 2010

以为

一直以为自己已变坚强,不会再那么轻易地掉眼泪。但事实是,我一直都在以为,它并不是真的。此刻,真的就突然地,很想很想家,很想赶快回到家里。只是在听着“相亲相爱”这首歌,眼泪就不受控制地留了下来。突然地,好触景,好感伤。

我喜欢生气时就想起你们永远包容多么伟大。刚才真的对某些事情而生气,所以听到这一句歌词时,就想起家人,真的就突然之间好想念他们。最近的生活真的很忙,忙到好想吐。我真的很想回到家里,享受那种温馨的感觉,享受那种家人在身边的氛围。我妹妹看到这个的话又会说我假了吧?哈!我以前也是这样想啊,但是现在不是了。等你经历了你就会懂这种感觉是怎样了。哈哈,好好珍惜在家里的日子吧!

最近看了“大日子”,深深地感触!在戏院里哭的很惨,哈哈。但是,它真的是一部很棒的电影,赚了许多的热泪。感动之余,也不缺喜剧该有的爆笑情节。情,家人之间的感情,人与人之间的感情,是我在这部戏里看到的。生命,真的不是着重于金钱的衡量,很多时候,那一个的真心才是感情里最重要的元素。可能有些个人因素吧,当我看到村民们为了制造虎头一起努力的那一幕,我哭得歇斯底里。原因是想起以往在家里,一家人为了大扫除一起分工合作,一起打扫家里的那一段时间。以前都会因为不想做事情,而找一堆的理由来推掉那些事情。现在却好想念,想做都没得做了。哈哈哈!还有妈妈那高分贝的吼骂声,与弟妹们吵架的画面,还有一切的一切。

处处为你用心,一直最有默契;请你相信这份感情值得感激。 成为一家人,是我们的缘分!这份感情是值得感激,值得珍惜的!人总要等到失去了才来懂得珍惜。哈哈,好好珍惜,好好感激,不单只是家人,更是身边的朋友,身边的每一个人!要惜福!

February 4, 2010

emotion

Life is so a shit with those sucky people!!! Eeuuu~~~ Bitch!! Don't go on boasting how good you are, while in the fact you are such a shit!! Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't always remark on others, while you aren't as good though. What the heck are you? Damn.

I can't deny, I am emotional. But, I can't help. I was so burning in anger, that if I had a knife or something similar, I may really kill you. Crap!!! I got to control my emotion, indeed. Negative emotion and feeling just make everything to go wrong. We are the one to reign over our emotion, and not the other way round. But, said is always easier. Haih.

A lot of time, life is just not what we expect to be. Creepy.

February 2, 2010

we CAN

I hate myself, a lot of time, for wasting a lot of precious time, which I should cherish with my studies. But I love myself, most of the time, as I enjoy my life. But, whenever it comes to studies, oh my God, time is never enough for me. It's February already. Gosh, time flies. It's liked just a glimpse, and a month passed so unsoundly.

January was a packed month. The spring semester is meant to be busy and hectic. I acknowledge it. But, I just still couldn't really get rid off the bad habits of laziness and endless procrastination. Why? Why? Why? I couldn't come out with an answer.

And I hated so much about the deadline stuff. It makes me stress out. Looking on the deadline, but with the fact that things which should be done are still hanging around can really piss one off. Time is really insufficient, for ADFP-ians, especially this particularly critical semester.

Sometimes, I really felt tired. Yet, there are tons of things lying to be done. Boost! Two more weeks to Chinese New Year! A motivational direction, perhaps? Cheer!! We can do it!! =)