悲？

这一刻，在那脑海深处里，有着那一股好热切，一直徘徊不去的想法。如果可以，真的好想把时间就此打住，永远地停留，再也不要那么不留情地转动，再也没有时光飞逝的感叹。

是逃避吗？或许是吧！逃避就摆在眼前，怎么都改变不了的事实·。但不想面对的心情却日益赠多，并不是小孩子闹别扭，而是真真切切的不想去面对这即将离开的事实。还是不舍呢？是啊。两个月，是一段好长的时间。在家中的这段时间，已经习惯了它的味道，它的氛围，它的气息。而就在习惯了之后，再一次离别是残忍的。不舍的是人，事和物仅仅居其次。人啊，是充满感情的。离别又岂是挥手道别这般简易呢？它蕴含着永无止境的思念，而思念又是如此的煎熬。

每一次的离别都是伤心的。往往那过于发达的泪腺就不经控制，肆惮地解放泪水，而泪水就在眼眶里泛滥，最后终于得以释放，无情地洒在脸上。尽情地哭，哭得歇斯底里，哭得再无眼泪为止。痛哭过后，心情也稍许转佳。毕竟，哭，亦是一种宣泄的好法门。

而今次，却不仅仅是为着离别伤痛，而是在异地的那人，事，与物。无法否认，其中的确带着点逃避的心态去面对那特定的人。其中的辛酸并非三言两语就可道尽，也并非泛泛人们可了解。唯有袮可带给我安慰。在袮里面，我寻见呵护，解脱。是啊，主，唯有你是这一切的主宰。引领我接下来的日子，我把自己完全的交托，并凭信心宣告，主，袮是救世的主，袮是掌管一切的君王，在袮所有的事都能成！在地上的纷争，尔虞我诈，不公，在袮必能寻着安慰，在袮有满满的恩惠。袮的恩典是够我们用！袮的爱也必大大地临在我们身上！

日子还是持续着。又能如何呢？为着即将来到的新一年，欢欣鼓舞吧。在新一年，抛开所有的不快，珍惜拥有的当下，迈向阳光的前程直跑吧。脱下旧的自己，穿上新的形态，展现全新的自己。朋友们，努力向前吧！并没有什么是放不下，放不开的。何苦让尘封的记忆在原地来回踏步呢？谈何容易呀！真的放开来做了，却发现做何其难喔。加油吧！

最近的我，发现自己爱上了华文。是好事吗？

永远，到底有多远呢？

夜

夜-如斯凄美 夜-如斯寂静
美得扣人心弦 美得揪人魂魄
静得没有一丝一毫的微波荡漾
静得能清晰听见规律跳动的心跳声
静得似乎可以细听毛孔轻轻的呼吸声

思绪就无拦阻地飘逸
直至堕落在那特定的回忆里
眼泪却不能只在眼眶打滚
毫不留情地 肆无忌惮地滑落
干了的脸颊再一次划出了两道泪痕

好可笑 好感慨 好感叹
总以为自己好勇敢 好成熟
以为自己已长大
可以独当一面
其实不然啊
在那伪装坚强的面具底下
却是脆弱 害怕

哭吧 哭并不是罪

hard worker?

SCORPIO- The Addict

EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring.

That's what exactly from an e-mail sent by a friend. It's scarily, kind of TRUE.

However, I doubt a statement, the particular statement- HARD workers. HARD worker? Hahahaha. I really doubt it. Perhaps, a motivation and a kind reminder for me, to be one? =)

Christmas

Unsoundly, Christmas of 2009 passed. Time flies. It really does. It's not anything but great. And I mean GREAT! I was in Sibu for the festive. Sibu has always had the thickest atmosphere for the festive season, I guess, if compared with the other places. The reason for it, Sibu is said to be a Christianity town. Yea. Sibu possesses lots and lots of churches. Sibu is a blessed town!

I love Christmas. I really do. It's the time of giving, sharing, forgiving, rejoicing, celebrating. It's the time of loving. Love is great. Love brings people together. Love brings miracles. Love brings joy. Love brings warmth. This is what I had, particularly, learnt from a sermon a pastor gave. Love melts people, even the hardest soul will be moved by one's constant and unending love. How much God had loved us that He gave us His own son, Jesus Christ, as the nation's savior. How much He loved us that He is willing to sacrifice His son so as to save us. So, how could we don't even try to love, try to give out even a little bit of love to the world, to the people around us? We love, because God loves us first!

Reminiscences on 24th and 25th. The Christmas eve and the Christmas day. I am saying, again. It was great! LOL! I was at the town square on the eve. There was a Christmas celebration being held. I was going with family. I would really like to appreciate the time with them. I met with lots of friends too. These are the people who made the festive great. Hah. We were having Count down for Christmas that night. The atmosphere was great with so many people counting down together. And then, fire crackers were played as a mean of celebrating the arrival of Christmas. That was nice, where the dark sky was brightened by the lighting of fire crackers; and the colors made the sky look nice.

It was 25th then. I went for the church service that morning. And, it was my brother's birthday. It was just a coincidence, where his lunar birthday fell on the Christmas day in this particular year. So, we had celebration, of his birthday, and of the Christmas. 2 in 1? Haha. And, that's all.

I am kind of lazy to upload photos. You may look up the photos at my Facebook profile, if, only if, you are interested. It may seem a bit late, but still, wish all a merry Christmas and a prosperous year ahead!!

pain

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.

Intense, extreme, drastic, strong, severe, extravagant, excessive, exaggerated, tremendous, supreme, immense, great pain is killing me.

Literally, I was on the verge of dying due to the pain.

I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate the stuff.

Pain, please leave me alone.

Winter Solstice

It was winter solstice festival yesterday. 22nd December 2009. It was a meaningful day for me. I was a legal driver on the particular day. *Laugh Out Loud!!!!!!!!!* Hahahahahahahahaha!! Congrats me!

Yea, I passed my JPJ test yesterday! I can finally bid goodbye to the driving school after about a month of car practising. Cool. Still, I would like to thank God for leading me all the way through. Thanks for His guidance that I can pass the test before I go back to study again.

Last night also, we celebrated the festival by having dinner outside. We had steampot. And of course, we made 汤圆, which is the sole representation of this particular festival.

Christmas is just around the corner. Cherish. =)

Bintulu

Today, I must write something. And I mean it. I had been lazy to update. I used to open a window for writing a new post, but then it was, every single time, ended up with pressing the [X] button on the top right of the window.

It's 23rd December. The past few days had been kind of busy. Let's reminisce.

I would talk on the Bintulu trip during 18th December til 20th December. It was 第二十三届砂沙汶彭城刘氏公会嘉年华会, the annual carnival of Lau's Association which was appointed to be hold in Bintulu in this particular year. I, was a representative for Sibu's Lau's, the one for the calligraphy competition.

18th December 2009. The first day.

We, my mum, my brother, and I; they went for the sake of accompanying me, haha. Well, we woke up at 6am. And, around 6:30am, my cousin fetched us to the Sibu's Lau's Association, which the building is situated somewhere at Sungai Merah. That's the site for gathering all of the participants. We took a photo before departing, by bus, to the destination, Bintulu.

~the representatives from Sibu~

Then, we departed. A tiring few hours sitting on the bus. I was sleeping most of the time though. We reached at around 12 noon. We reached straight at the hotel. It was New World Suites, quite a nice hotel.

So, we checked in, settled ourselves, and went for lunch. And, we went for shopping at Park City Mall. I was free for the first two days as my competition was held on Sunday, 20th.

the schedule for each competition.

The Bintulu Lau's Association
which is just the opposite of the hotel.

Evening. We got back to hotel and bathed, and prepared ourselves for the welcoming ceremony that night. It was held in the Civic Centre of Bintulu. We lined up according to the area we came from. There were all the Lau's people who came from different place, from Sarawak-Kuching, Sibu, Miri, Bintulu, Limbang, Sarikei, Bintangor, Sabah, and Brunei, and so that made up the 砂沙汶. Then, we went in the hall accordingly when the ceremony started. Bintulu, as the host, organized the welcoming dinner, the mean of welcoming people from different places.

queuing

欢迎宴. @the opening ceremony.

And that, the first day ended.

19th December 2009. The second day.

It was a totally free day. We can have our own activities, as I was not involved in any competition held on the day. My mum went to find her friends, and keep chatting away. I and my brother were like stayed at a side and went on our own world. Lol. Her friends brought us here and there, and ate here and there. After that, we went to find my cousin. We went on shopping again and had dinner with cousin. And, unsoundly, the second day ended when we went into our slumber land.

20th December 2009. The third day.

It was my competition day.

Calligraphy competition.

It was damn cold where the competition was hold. I was freezing until my hands were trembling. And that, I asked my mum to help me to take a jacket for me. Haha. Thanks for that. =)

Well, I got a consolation prize for the competition.

The night, we were having the farewell dinner. The three days came to its end now. Bintulu appeared to be the overall champion for the carnival. Hmm. Many doubted it, and many were unsatisfied with the result, especially us from Sibu. Sibu used to be the champion over the years. Well, no offense for it, but Bintulu won overall the subjective judging competition, for like singing competition, drawing competition. While, the objective judging competition, as badminton competition, basketball competition, they didn't manage to win. So, that's the reason for the doubting.

欢送宴 @the closing ceremony.

After the dinner ended, we came back to Sibu, again, by bus. We reached at around 1am on the 21st December. And, I went on my sweet dream.

And, it all ended.

(:

(: I found that I had so little posts in December. Reason: laziness plus procrastination, which I am really good of!

(: I love reminiscing these days. Browsing at the old photos, listening to the old songs, reading up the old blog, recalling back the memories.

(: I enjoy reading people's blog. Just simply love. And I actually read a friend's blog yesterday where the passages are well-written. They, made me cry.

(: Yet I love crying, which I mean shedding tears out of the reason of touching, missing, ain't the reason of grievousness for sure! The tears of the formal, is sweet; but bitter for the latter.

(: It's Olivia's birthday today. Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your 18th birthday. Last night, or this morning, or accurately, the midnight, when I sent my wish to you, the feeling of missing you raised in my heart, deeply. Miss you and love you always! All the best to you in your life.

(: I am currently reading a great religious philosophy book- Simple and Outstanding. It's a nice book, with lots of great teachings.

(: I had dinner in my relative's house just now. It was good.

(: I was busied with banks. Guess what? I am 18 finally, and so I went to change my ATM cards to the 18 type, which means no more the guidance of parents, and the utmost, no more limitation for the withdrawal. And, I own a Debit Card now! *LOL*

(: I can't stop watching Autumn's Concerto!! It's a Taiwanese drama. It's so darn nice man!! It's mostly, touching, which makes me cry damn hard.

(: 2009 is going to end soon. Time flies. 2009 is a good and packed year, and with lots of so-called first time! It's soon be a past. Sigh.

(: Until now, I still haven't go and update my IC (Identity Card), or it's called Mykad in this country. I should have gone and done with this particular thingy.

(: I am always envious of those who are well in Chinese. I really do! I just don't have the muse and to produce those beautiful and flowery passages. Really, super duper envious of 'em.

(: The car-learning is still going on. I hope I can have my test and pass it within this month.

(: Holidays is going to end soon, in a very near soon. Sob. Sob. SOB. It denotes the leaving of home, and the heading to Shah Alam, again. Owh. What can be done right/? After all, this is a student's life.

(: Am going to Bintulu on Friday, until Sunday, for the calligraphy competition. And yea, I had finally, eventually, bought the ink for the calligraphy on the day before yesterday. All the best!

(: Christmas is coming very soon. Nice. But I can't join the Christmas procession which will be held on this Saturday. I am in Bintulu.

(: Have no idea of buying which mobile phone. Should be Nokia by the way, but have really not had any idea on the series and model. Some ideas?

(: I love to set my status to Appear Offline these days, without any particular reason. It's the intuition I guess.

(: I changed my subscription of Broadband to the package of RM50/month. But there's something in between. Hope it can be settled in its best way.

(: The PC Fair in Sibu had just passed. Sadly to say, the fair sucks. Hmm.

(: This has been a boring post I guess. If you have been reading all the way through, I would like to thank for your bearing. *Wink*

Now I am listening to 不为明天忧虑. I just love this song. And I am listening to it over and over again. The song is great. My heart is always being moved when listening to it. Just to share its lyric.

回首童年时光
不知道什么叫忧愁
随着年岁增多，烦恼也跟着多
许多人忙忙碌碌的追求
却没有平安喜乐
再多努力也改变不了什么
你看天上飞鸟
快乐自在的翱翔
你看野地的花
如此美丽芬芳
慈爱的天父会养活他们
他们就不必烦忧

我们也当像他们一样
把重担都卸给主
我不为明天忧虑
天父知道我虽不好
但他却能垂顾我
他医治我的创伤
他同情我的软弱
我知道我主掌管明天
我也不为明天忧虑

pass

Have not been updating for days again. My body is just filled with a plenitude of laziness. So does my mind which is laid with procrastinating element. And so, they end up with the effect mentioned. *grins*

Well, yesterday, I was having my Pre-test for my driving. Gosh, I was so nervous; there are thousands of butterflies in my stomach! It was a real nervous, I guess I had not been so nervous before, even when I was having gun shot activity during National Service training. Anyway, I have passed it. Thanks God! You are highly deserved of the praise! And also, thanks for all of my friends' encouragements and blessings. They bushed me up. Thanks guys.

Yet, I was fretting about my JPJ test now. The JPJ test will only be conducted on Tuesdays. And yet, the Tuesdays left for December are accordingly 15th, 22nd, and 29th; which means there are 3 Tuesdays left only. And guess what, JPJ gave out a notification few days ago, an abrupt notification, that there won't have test on 15th. Authority! Authority is just more than anything. Sigh. So, there will only be 22nd and 29th. But then, the initial 15th testers are summoned to 22nd. So, I don't have the chance on 22nd. What about 29th? it's the end of the month, and there isn't any confirmation of test. Liking or not, they can say no if they want. Gosh! And, if there is a test on the day, the matter is once again, amount of testers. I really hope I can be arranged to test on that day, and that I can pass it! Lord, please guide me all the way through.

And, there is a real beast this few days. I was liked, kind of irritating over it! The character of the matter is of the platitude- a platitudinous being. It's something which can be considered as some kind of plagiarism for me. Well, the being plagiarized something from me, and won, more or less, some kind of plaudits from others. Guts. I don't want to reveal the thing here though. But just to express my feelings. I, really, grow more disliking on the being. The level of disliking, is on the verge of its zenith. Haiz. I remembered Angelina always commented on the plebeian tastes and deeds of the being. Yea, that's zany weirdo.

Don't get on my nerves again! Sincerely plead to you.

updates

Some updates.

1. I went for a reunion night last Saturday. Well, the reunion was of my mum; the old friends' reunion night. I didn't know clearly why, but, we, my siblings and I, tantamount-ly, the children of my mum, *LOL* actually went for the event. Okay, my point is on the relationships, the friendships. They were mostly primary and secondary schoolmates. Yet, they still keep contact, and their relationships, truly, make me feel envious of. It's quite often that they have the reunion, every now and then. Hah! This is the point. Hopefully, my relationships with my friends, as well, will last for decades. And, when we turn into thirties, forties, we may have such kind of reunion. After all, I appreciate friends. They are the great and precious treasure in my life!

2. I went for church service last night, for I had car learning in the morning. It was a communion service. The sermon given was great. It was about Christmas, the preach was on Jesus who came to earth as human; mostly about His humility to put off His dignity and came to earth as a human. The point which caught my mind intensively was: say, car is created by human, but human would never change themselves into car. This just sounds right and logical. BUT, God who created human, actually changed Himself into His creation, that's human. Indeed, we really need to reflect ourselves. Think of it, what we do is nothing if compared to God. Hmm. Ponder for yourselves.

3. Regarding my car-learning. It's about the fourth week and I am having my Pre-test very soon. So far, not so good. Ha ha. Well, it was really terrible at first place. But now, gradually, improvements do take place, and it's alright for everything now, except one which is a grand one- timidness. Timidness..? Aww. I am kind of scared! The part which I scared most is the climbing. Huh. Lead me, Lord! I know, it may seem impossible, but in God, it's possible to its fullest! God has His way, and He has prepared everything well, I should receive and take from Him with faith. I proclaim in Jesus' name that everything will be fine, and everything can be done in Him! Amen!

4. I had overused my Broadband. Owh, Guess what? I received a message regarding this just now. The message sounds [Dear Sir/Ms, you have exceeded the 5GB/ mth usage as per Celcom Broadband policy. We reserve the right to control yr broadband speed when deemed necessary. Thk U.] Hah! What on earth is this? It's just the starting of the month man!! Gosh. Oh well, I did download quite a lot of things these few days, mostly some programs which really cost much memory. So, it's my fault. Sob. Hopefully the line won't turn really slow.

5. Current obsession: PS2. Hah! The obsession of the family as well. It's kind of boring at home, and so, we played the games everyday. But then, it's obsession of glimpse. I will soon get bored of it. After all, it's kid's thingy. It seems the kids won't get dull of it so easily. My younger brother, just a perfect instance. He just doesn't get bored of playing. Lol. By the way, I love Wii more. Hah! I wish to own one, but, it's kinda expensive. Owh, it costs about 1000 bucks. Haih. Who can sponsor one for me? Hahaha.

6. I am about to go for the calligraphy competition soon, the next Friday, 18th December at Bintulu. But guess what? I don't even start practicing on it. I don't have the ink at house either. The one at my house had just been used up during the last competition. And, I remembered during the competition, I ran out of ink and I had actually got it from others. Lolz. Sort of simply? However, this time around, it's the annual carnival of Lau's association which turns to be hold at Bintulu this year; and I'm one of the representative of Sibu for the calligraphy competition. So, should take it, at least, a bit more serious. Haha. Should buy up the ink and a better brush, and start practicing on it. Hopefully, could excel in the competition. Hah! *Add on: I am going to miss the Christmas caroling parade on 19th December. I will be in Bintulu from 18th til 20th. =(

Up to here first. Catch up later. Chau~

expressive

Just want to share two songs here.

* 老婆-S.H.E

* 真的我没事-符致逸

They mean on the lyric.

Good, meaningful, expressive;
just so nice to substitute the usage of words;
to express the feeling.

Let the lyric speaks.

老婆-S.H.E

从昨天到今天
还有明天
感谢老天
让你们陪在我身边
爱的心痛的心
等待的心
因为你们的拥抱
我很放心
当初见面的不安
彼此的探索
也许有些茫然迷惑
朝夕相处才发现
这世界中
没有人比你们更懂我
朋友姐妹
都已不够来形容
我们的默契骄傲
扶持与包容
老婆老婆
我们一起打勾勾
请记得约定的旅程到永久

真的我没事-符致逸

On and on, the pain goes on
And it wouldn't just wouldn't die
我竟远比想像中软弱旦无能为力
对你的眼神选择了逃避恨自己恨自己

On and on, the pain lives on
It's hurting so much more
就像我被悔不当初的罪恶吞去
惩罚过后能否带来解脱

I'll be fine I'll be fine
So many cried, listening to God
让坚强不只是种伪装
So many lies, listening to you
天亮后
I will be fine

On and on, the pain goes on and
I just don't know how to cope
伸手抱住自己是否就能够不再空虚
最后信念别放弃

I will be fine I will be fine
So many cried, listening to you
希望你能再给我力量
I will be fine So many lies, listening to you
什么时候
I will be fine

当我再也不对任何事期待
只剩下你只剩下你
有天当我舍弃一切见你
请你要微笑不语

So many cried, listening to you
希望你能再给我力量
I will be fine
So many lies, listening to you
什么时候
I will be fine

good deed

A Christmas card.

3-dimensional

I bought it this morning, when having my brunch in a cafe.
There is a person who brought the cards to sell for charities. Ha ha.
It costs 10 bucks. Well, that's for charity purpose. So, I had done a good deed.

LOL.