breakthrough

I had had only a very single post for the, almost, whole month of June, unbelievably. 

What had happened to me, seriously? My days were so packed, so busy, during this very season of summer. 

I have no idea of why, but I really screwed my summer, I mean, in my academic performance. Somehow, sad. Yea, I did. And felt like so sorry for some people. I'm sorry.

Realized that, emotion is irresistible. Yea, may be you can suppress and deal with it in the beginning; but, the duration won't be long. Some day, it'll overflow, when you really can't resist with it any longer.

And is it, unconsciously and unsoundly, turning into a habitual schedule?

And is it, pretense to be so good that, as if, either one is blind, or the other is invisible?

You know what? The words like sad, depressed, are like, futile already. Instead, it's death, the dying off of a heart, which after a lot of pain, a lot of attempts, yet, everything is malfunctioning, and eventually the heart, or the will dies off, and the numbness creeps and attacks, that everything feels normal as though it's what it was. Whilst, in the deep inside, you know it wasn't. But, you know also, coherently, nothing can be done. And you choose to let it be in the end, with the faith of believing time can heal the bleeding heart. 

But is that really the case? If that is, there wouldn't be piles and piles of tissue papers lying around. If that is, there wouldn't be a pair of bulgy eyes on an emotionless face. If that is, there wouldn't be a passionate heart growing cold. If that is, there wouldn't be hypocrite with smile on the face but tears in the heart.

I'm sad, you know? 

Or, do you even care?