insights.

Don't you?

2012-01-22T14:06:00.000+08:00

You know what. This thing of Chinese New Year away from home is literally killing each and everyone who couldn't get to go home during this lovely festive season. Chinese New Year away from home is definitely one of the most cruel, one of the saddest things that could have ever happened. And it happens. Oh boy.

When even listening to my mom telling what all the beautiful people are doing back at home, how shopping mall, supermarkets are fully occupied with people, how congested the traffic get, etc could be so sentimental that all I could do is to picture these scenes and to remember, recall myself being in those good old moments, just as they used to be in each and every other previous year. And when even browsing through all those Chinese New Year related statuses, posts, videos could be emotional that they so easily stimulate the tear gland to produce so much precious tear drops.

I miss home. Don't we all do?

失去。漂流着它来过的证据

2012-01-15T02:23:00.002+08:00

蔚蓝的天空任我们去飞翔，人生需要自己去闯。

-最美好时光。

决定，今天一定要好好的写一点东西。三个星期的寒假华丽丽却同时非常感伤的结束了。要用一个字来概括整个假期的话，那将是感动。感动万分的同时，感恩。感谢神每一步一脚印的看顾带领，感谢神在生命中每一个安排都是如此特别，蕴含着每一个等待被揭开的意义。当我真真实实的身在纽约市中心，当我叹为观止的看着无比壮观的尼亚加拉大瀑布，当我内心澎湃的仰望着高高耸立的自由女神像，当我真真切切的穿梭在哈佛大学的校园，当我置身于迪斯尼乐园观赏着如此真实在我眼前上演的各种表演，相信我，好多次我真的不能自己的想要大哭一场。感动的氛围刺激着每一个神经线，一次一次的提醒着自己是多么的蒙福。曾经以为只能在梦想中上演的情节，如今就这么真切的发生在现实生活中。我知道自己是蒙受祝福的。我感恩。感谢爱我的耶稣基督。我赞美。称颂这位宇宙万物的主宰。 =)

寒假的结束，送走了2011，迎来了崭新的2012。写博文好像总要写一下对于过去一年的感言和对于新一年的展望。2011发生了许许多多大大小小的事。开心快乐难过生气各种各样的酸甜苦辣，生命就是这样不是吗。至少到了最后你我他都知道什么样的人事物带来什么样的感动心痛纠结。对于2012，也对于新学期的展望，我给自己一个从来没有在我身上发生过的挑战。活了两个时代，发现自己从来没有在学业这一块付出过足够的努力。发现自己总是抱着得过且过的态度面对生活。离开家里后，生活总是没有规律，糊里糊涂的含混过关。所以，这一年，我要对得起自己。这个学期我要去上每一堂课，我要为每一个功课每一个考试付出足够的努力。这一年，我要勇敢要坚强要爱主更多爱家人更多爱朋友更多。

有人说，旅行的意义就是逃离。逃离的不是一座城，而是一段回忆。有人说，旅行是逃避。逃避一个人，一段维系艰难的关系。有人说，旅行是找回。找回一个人，一些人，那些温暖而纯真的感情。这一次的旅程，谢谢你们让我拥有这么多的快乐与感动。那么的快乐我希望这段旅程永远都不要结束。在繁华的纽约市，朋友的阿姨姨丈表姐表弟所带来家的感动不是三言两语就能道尽。每一个的叮咛都那么的真诚那么温暖人心。一起搓汤圆一起说说笑笑让身在距离家有几千几万公里的我拥有那种家人才能给予的安心，拥有冬至家人团聚的氛围。圣诞节的海鲜火锅，圣诞节礼物，都让我那么真实的感受到这一个美丽的季节带来的轻轻淡淡却深深烙印在心中的祝福。每一餐的三珍海味，每一口家里的味道，干捞面，肉骨茶，点心，还有许多的许多，简简单单的幸福满足充充足足的横溢在空中。与亲爱的朋友在经过半年不见面的相聚也那么微妙的感动绕溹。简简单单的友情，不需要华丽的浮夸的虚伪，讲求的只是一颗真诚坦诚对待的心。聊一聊生活，谈一谈心事，讲一讲八卦，晚上很累却不睡觉抱着枕头说着所谓的枕头话，赤裸裸的摊开所有，不需要拥有任何的秘密。一起旅行一起吃好吃的食物一起坐巴士一起唱歌一起走一条又一条的大道一起逛街一起看电影。很美好。

佛罗里达迪斯尼乐园还有环球影城，是一个和一大帮好朋友的一段旅程。这样或许是最好不过的，在每一个半年来一个大相聚。每一个见面蕴含了各种兴奋，每一次分开充满不舍，却同时保有下一次再见的期待。因为生活就是这么的喜欢捉弄人，它就是喜欢让你无比珍惜你所没有拥有的。迪斯尼乐园是小时候的憧憬，是一直以来的梦想。憧憬变为事实，梦想得以实现，心中真的有那种说不出五味掺杂的兴奋快乐感动。与一大班朋友一起倒数新年，一样看着烟火表演，就跟每一个往年一样。唯一特别，不一样的一点是一大班人身处在美国，或更甚，身处在迪斯尼乐园。那是一种很美很特别很值得永远记住的经验，的回忆。

后来终于在眼泪中明白，有些人一旦错过就不再。

-后来。

后来，我爱上了跟知心的朋友聊天。后来，我爱上了越洋聊天。谢谢你这么的了解整个状况。一句句的我明白，我完全了解让我有种安心的泪奔感。其实后来我们都发现，兜兜转转了许久过后，中学那段时光真的是最美好最难忘的。一个不争的事实就是，其实我们都不想要长大不是吗？成长真的要付出很痛的代价。长大拥有着那么多的烦恼。

原来一直都只是很努力的说服自己假装不在意，假装自己很勇敢。到头来发现都是假的。在电话的这一头，说着说着就感伤的哭了。原来所谓的课业繁忙，天气冷，食物不好吃，等等的等等，都是假的。其实我们都明白我们只是都累了厌了烦了，退缩不想不敢不知道怎样去面对现实了。有时候，我想有一个药丸吃了可以把不想要拥有的记忆统统删除。

如果有一天撞上一个小缺口，我怕沉入海底。

-漂流瓶。

hang on.

2011-12-13T05:06:00.003+08:00

交上考卷。穿上外套。收拾书包。走出考场。我很平静。出奇的平静。我有点害怕这样的自己。决定从学校走路回家。往常只需要十五分钟的路程今天用了近半小时。我应该要大哭一场。我所认识的我一定会这样做。我想打电话给随便任何一个人来讲一下话。但是我不知道我到底该说什么。结果我什么都没有做。只是真的异常冷静的默默的走在艳阳高照却冷风瑟瑟的街道。我就这样一直往前走。一直走。一直走。这是所谓的暴风雨前的平静吗？

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap. It's time to try defying gravity.

-Defying Gravity.

漂流瓶

2011-12-09T14:06:00.000+08:00

我爱上了在午夜十二点进浴室泡一个至少半小时的热水澡。没有特别的原因。但是享受在冷空气中让热水滑过身上每一寸的肌肤。享受在热水中默默的送走又过去的一天，悄悄的迎接新一天的开始。享受安静的让思想自由的跃动，静谧的想想这一天都作了什么。享受水流给予一种把污秽把悲伤把不愉快都给冲走的感觉。

我开始了写日记的习惯。所谓日记，就是很传统的拿一个本子把心情故事记载在里头。同样的，没有特别的原因。只是人在生命不同的阶段都会有这么些自己都想不到会付诸行动的冲动，不是吗？希望这一次不再是三分钟热度。

只剩十天了。我很很很很很很非常非常非常的期待！

失去。漂流着那份情来过的证据。

turducken.

2011-12-03T15:10:00.001+08:00

Friendship isn't how you forget, but how you forgive.

Not how you listen, but how you understand.

Not how you see, but how you feel.

Not how you let go, but how you hold on.

Everything before but could slip in that easily and everything after but could sway away that easily too. If it could be the other way up. This awful pain could as well be taken away like how chocolate can take away the period pain. He said dark chocolate in particular.

This coldness does nothing good to uh, life? The nearest yet so far away, beyond the verge of further, furthest. You knew it. What could probably be done are yet declared to be foul. No one loves to take that initiative. Because a silly thing called dignity seems to be the utmost cling. No one wants to break this silence. As if a tote of silence is the best bag to hide all lies, dissatisfaction, selfishness, irresponsibility. Perhaps it really is.

I am mad. Because the world is way crazier. Ain't it? Why it always has to be at critical time such as this- the verge of finals, the verge of assignments completion. To distract me from doing good at the last batch of battle, I'm just curious.

It is meant to be incomprehensible. Comprehend the words, if you could. And talk to me on what I should do. Pamper me, like you used to.

A chicken stuffed in a duck Jammed in a turkey is called turducken. According to Glee.

连心都下雪。

2011-11-30T12:32:00.000+08:00

很久没有透过文字诉说心情。不是太忙，不是太懒惰。很多时候写了很长一篇，到最后决定全选然后按下删除键。有的时候，原来很多的事情只要跟家人说就够了。真的只有家人可以让你安心的任性。只有家人会在你最痛的伤口为你换上最美丽的包扎。

成长原来真的是一瞬之间的变化。成长就是再也没有人在你身边让你放任着任性。成长就是当你开始独自的面对大大小小的事情。成长就是你开始觉得快乐都变成了一种奢华。成长就是你终于明白有一些人真的完全不值得你为他流一滴眼泪。成长就是眼泪滑落之前告诉自己不可以哭。成长就是内心情绪澎湃着千变万化的同时却必须表现的很镇定。

看到表姐的信息说外婆进医院，我的心真的乱了，慌了一下。马上打电话回家，听着真的不小心眼泪奔腾而下。是心疼。心真的紧紧的揪在一起。听到大家都赶回诗巫。我真的恨不得马上潇洒的订一张机票就飞回家去。妈咪刚才说外婆出院回家了。妈咪把电话给外婆让她跟我说了一下话。她只叫了我一声咪咪。鼻头酸酸的。主啊，求你医治我的外婆，挪走她身上一切的痛苦！主啊，我宣告你医治的大能要临到她身上。主你怜悯看顾这个家，家里每一个人。奉耶稣基督名字宣告，阿门！阿嬷，你一定要加油，一定要快快好起来！拜托。

感恩节的假期就这样匆匆的结束了。接踵而来的是很多的功课和考试。人生中第一次欢庆感恩节。感恩节，或称Thanksgiving Day在美国是一个很夯的节庆。美国人似乎都为之而疯狂。而在这一年的感恩节，我享用了不下四次的火鸡大餐。我花了不少的钱在黑色星期五购物。我到一个叫做Great Smoky Mountains的地方度假。Smoky Mountains位于Tennessee州。很棒很美好的一段旅程。只是这一次的旅程让我回忆无穷尽的泛滥，好多好多的一些些的事情都那么的熟悉，都那么轻易的勾起了曾经的我们。曾经的我们也一起做了那些很美好的事情。简简单单的爱情让人如此的向往。简简单单的友情让人如此的想拥有。他真的很像你。如此的相似让我以为你在我身边做着你曾经为我做的事，讲着你曾经对我诉说的话语。真的在那一霎我真真实实的在他身上看到了你。终于明白对你的思念从来都没有减少过。它却因时间距离的磨炼变得更加的香醇更加的浓厚。

今天，是一个好日子吧。JPA在今天进钱了。也在今天，第一次的Presentation。竟然有一点小紧张。整体还算可以吧。天空，也在今天下雪了。一个人走在白雪堆砌的路上，尝试让自己想想当下的感受。其实并没有什么特别的感受。是有少许的兴奋。少许的哦哦哦原来下雪是这样的。白茫茫的雪景其实很赏心悦目。

情歌

2011-11-15T12:30:00.001+08:00

慌乱城市中连风都不自由

热闹的街头就属我最寂寞

-张信哲太想爱你

其实有时候所谓情歌不一定只献于爱情。

因为友情有时候也是那么一回事。

叶彤说，一个人的生活其实很好。

我会开始习惯一个人的生活。

最痛的地方最美的包扎

2011-11-05T14:23:00.000+08:00

那是几米童话世界里叉叉熊的坚持。

是梦想的美好还是现实的残酷让生活变成这样一个走不出的银河。世俗的舆论人心的可畏不是你说不要就凭空消失的。曾经许下的诺言却摇身变成插在赤裸裸炯体上的刀柄。只是早就知道后果是这样却还是不甘心的承认面对。只是一直秉抱的信念都开始没办法说服自己的时候应该就清楚知道是时候不再依赖不再欺骗勇敢放开手。可悲的是经过了这么多的风这么多浪这么多的风这么多的雨这么多的雪这么多的霜连珍惜两个字都不晓得吗？感慨的是或许最起初最原始那一步棋就走错了。

不知不觉十一月了。根据农历日历计算我刚好满二十岁了。在农历生日的这一天妈咪叫我要煮水煮蛋给自己吃。原来我还是很传统的福州人。我非常的想念每年生日吃寿面的传统。我真的想念了。活了二十年第一次的生日没有家人我真的有一点不习惯。

祝自己生日快乐。

看着电脑荧幕相距好几千几万公里的家中三个小孩儿开始像模像样的走路，一样的哭闹声一样的笑声，心中是充满感动的。看着外婆在电脑荧幕前问我你现在看到的是谁还问我什么时候回家，眼眶不小心湿湿的。我比你们想我更想你们。

之前参与的试吃杏仁果的实验经过一个月完成了。看吧时间真的过的很快很快。一个朋友说该写一写关于这个实验。整个过程最害怕的就是打针抽血这一环。没有为什么也没有什么特别的阴影但就是一直害怕打针所带来的那种感觉。所以当初决定就趁这次克服一下这个恐惧吧。多多少少有克服到吧，我想。至少没这么害怕这种感觉。虽然当针插进皮肤的那一刹那还是会轻轻的感觉刺痛一下。忍一下就过了，真的。

野兽总是对美女说，虽然我外貌丑陋骇人，但是我有一颗善良动人的心。

人生中第一次的现场舞台剧献给了美女与野兽。很美丽的故事很美丽的歌曲。我却希望坐在我身边跟我一起观赏这出舞台剧的是你。看完舞台剧是感动的。感动于故事的凄美。感动于表演者的努力付出。感动于以往的梦想真的在现实生活中成真。

感动在于想起了你，那个独有的你。

她说

2011-11-01T10:04:00.000+08:00

看着伤痕累累的双手，真的有种想哭的冲动。

我会好好的花还香香的
时间一直去回忆真美丽

相片温热，泪水透彻。

2011-10-29T11:03:00.001+08:00

似乎已经忘了怎么笑。为什么连我最珍贵的笑容都要抢走。现在我真的什么都没有了。好久好久没有哭得这么伤心。哭得就要窒息了。没有人可以紧紧的抱我一下。没有一个肩膀可以让我靠一下。惟有抱着枕头躲在被窝里让悲伤泛滥。因为不哭出来会得内伤。

我好想回家。我以为我可以忍住这个思乡之情。没想到才不到三个月的时间我就开始这么这么的想回家了。怎么办。我不想读书。不想考试。不想一个人生活。不想要哭的时候装着笑。不想谎言堆砌的环绕。几米的话真的说到心坎里。

病了，一个人扛；烦了，一个人藏；痛了，一个人挡；街上，一个人逛；路上，一个人想；晚上，一个人的床。慢慢的习惯了一个人的生活，变得沉默，变得冷落，没了想理，不想说，不想看。我不是高傲，也不是胡闹，只是厌倦了那些随时可能失去的依靠。--几米。

放弃，好吗？一个人告诉我，当你想要放弃的那一瞬间，想想你一直坚持到今天的理由。听到这句话有种莫名的感动。是啊。再怎么难过，还是要过。既然怎么样都要继续的走下去，何不选择让自己好过一点的方式过。我们不能选择别人要怎么对待我们，我们不能选择生活要怎么欺压我们，但是我们可以选择怎么对自己好。

勉励自己的一句话：

Here in this power of Christ, I'll stand. --Chris Tomlin, In Christ Alone.

I am who I am.

2011-10-22T12:31:00.001+08:00

小猪很天真很自然的豪不做作的做自己。海绵宝宝却有着好多的猜不透在它炯炯的眼神背后。生命中到底有几个小猪可以守候在身旁，值得你掏心掏肺也不怕被伤害。生活真的太现实了。每个人都带着海绵宝宝的顾虑，海绵宝宝虚伪可怕的笑容。狠狠的刺伤你再对你虚假的笑笑。

小猪不是真的那么笨。小猪什么都知道。小猪只是不想把事情摊得那么白来讲。小猪真的受伤了。小猪的心真的好痛好痛。小猪的眼泪只能往肚子里吞。小猪不知道还有哪一个小猪是她可以相信的。小猪已近分不清真诚和虚假了。小猪也终于明白了真心换来绝情的痛是那么撕裂的疼。可以有谁来紧紧的抱一抱小猪吗？小猪真的怕她就要压抑不住了。小猪真的怕她随时就要崩溃了。

* * * * *

不经意的抬起头仰望天空，想起我们一起看星星的那个夜晚。突然好想你。想你给予的那一种安心。我现在需要的就是那种安心，我不想每天提心吊胆的过日子。

天气渐渐转凉了。冷风瑟瑟，细雨绵绵，那颗炙热的心也随着人生的无奈渐渐冷淡了。因为没人告诉她该怎么办。没人告诉她生活不是尽顺人意。没人告诉她成长要付出那么痛的代价。谁让生活就是那么现实呢？

我还是原本的那个我。我还是那个一天至少要睡十小时的我。我还是那个到了最后一秒才知道有考试仍然悠悠读书的我。我还是那个到了最后一分钟才知道该交的功课还没做的我。我还是那个常常不去上课的我。我还是那个什么都搞不清楚状况的我。我还是那个爱吃的我。我还是那个爱看戏的我。我还是那个房间好乱的我。我还是那个爱听歌的我。我还是那个爱哭的我。我还是那个爱神的我。我还是那个爱想念家人朋友的我。我还是那个听着别人的纠结自己先伤心痛哭的我。我还是花好多时间上网的那个我。我还是那个需要用至少半小时冲凉的我。

我还是那个我！但你还是那个你吗？

* * * * *

留了半年多的头发。

继续的往地心吸力发展吧！

笑着哭　最痛

笑着笑　最美

一宿虽然有哭泣，早晨便必欢呼！－诗篇３０：５。

skyscraper

2011-10-14T14:01:00.000+08:00

Reality kicks in and says things otherwise. A lot of time. You see, sometime you think he/she is this person you come to really indulge, get along with. Because you could say it out loudly, patting on your flesh and heart that you deal things or treat this one being with whole lot of sincerity and honesty. But this saying goes, God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you the person you are meant to be. He/She hurts you, incorporating with betrayal, dishonesty. Such apparent dishonesty he/she thought you are dumb enough to not acknowledge it. You know. You don't want to point it out. For the good sake of this breakable knit. At least, you know you did your parts. You relentlessly work out the needs. Selflessly. Righteously. Sincerely. Honestly.

Life ain't easy. So much a pain you can't wander off. So much tough rocks lying on a smooth path and what you do is to take up these rocks before you can lead and step on a really smooth road. But rocks might hurt many a time. They really hurt. They hurt so much you say you don't want to continue picking up the rocks, you don't want to continue the path ahead, all you want is to turn back and hide in that cozy zone forever. That comfort zone with people who love you, support you, take care of you with a genuine sincerity, with an impeccable honesty. You miss these familiar people so much, you feel innocent so much and you start to walk on the road weeping like a mad as if the world has stopped rotating for you. But you soon figure out no, the world is not going to stop for you, just for you. Because everyone has their own life to lead, because everyone has their own problem to fret about. No one will always be reserved to listen to your tiny bits of unhappiness. You need to get rid of them by yourself. And from that, you start to grow.

Yes. You can go ahead to take everything I have. You can go ahead to break everything I am. Like I am made of glass. Like I am made of paper. You can go ahead tearing me down. But mind you, I will be rising from the ground. Like a skyscraper.

Like a skyscraper!

Hypocrisy is a big no no. You just did it.

2011-10-09T12:46:00.002+08:00

Other than that, all is well.

People said, angry is taking others' fault to make ourselves suffer. True. Very true. But this thing called emotion says it otherwise. I really don't like you. Never had in my life I dislike a person so much. So much that I don't anymore want to consider you as a friend. Because you literally don't deserve the term. No point to talk on this unhappiness. But please behave for your own good sake, for any sake it would be.

* * * * *

已经进入十月的第八天了。在普渡大学的第一个学期也已过刚好一半了。时间，我就快跟不上你的脚步了。秋假的第一天哪儿都没去，待在家把房间从头到尾整理了一番。睡觉睡到自然醒，吃饭看戏，洗衣服，属于自己的私人时间空间，感觉好久好久没有这样了，感觉真的很好。

开着Skype听着华宣的主日聚会。其实很想念。华宣十岁了。好想飞回家参加十周年的庆典活动。好想念大家同心合一的为着我们的家把每一个活动搞得轰动。好想念大家一起经历每一个大事小事为了把最好的献给神。每一次跟你们聊天都让我好欣慰。就像家人所给以的那一种安慰。每一句简单的话却是鼓励我继续往前走的肯定。

在美国还是没改了爱看电影的爱好。一个星期内就看了两部电影。一部是Dolphin Tale，一部是Lion King。两部都是值得看看的作品。海豚的传说讲的是一只尾巴受了伤的海豚的故事。改编自真实故事，其实真的是一部很棒的电影。狮子王的故事是纯粹的拥有好多童年味道的一部巨作。即使是在动物的世界也是存在着正邪两方，也是存在着阿谀我咋。但是不管怎样，到了最后邪还是不能胜正的。好多感慨感动欣慰快乐深深的悸动留在心坎的最深处。

前几个星期参加了类似这个地方文化节的活动。真是大开眼界。很好很难忘的经验。吃了好多好棒的食物。看到好多穿着奇异服装的人。看到好多人把动物的毛发穿在身上。感觉是那么的真实，却又显得有点飘缈。平时只能在电视上看到的人事物，现在就这么真实的摆在眼前

其实生活就是有起有落的时候。其实生活不会是一帆风顺。其实生活就是充满着许许多多意想不到的事情发生。因为人生本来就是辛苦的。因为苦难能帮助我们成长。在那天抽血的过程中悟出了这个道理。

一直很害怕打针抽血。为了钱啊，就硬着头皮给针就这么的插进皮肤。原来也就只是那么一下子就过了。其实就只要跨过了那个根源的时间点，一切都会变好的。

其实原理很简单。当问题来时，你就把你的背转向它，不要一昧的埋头在问题里，就这样头也不回的往另一个方向走。在难过的事情，就跟自己说Hakuna Matata。没有烦恼，自由自在的生活态度。

Hakuna Matata! 好好享受来临秋天的洗礼。因为秋天是一整年当中最后一个且最美丽的笑容。

Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile. -William Cullen Bryant.

信是未曾看见

2011-09-24T13:25:00.001+08:00

依然仰望十架。信是完全交托，深知主已掌权。=）

时间飞逝！九月就这样悄悄的接近尾声了。浑浑噩噩的上了很多课，做了很多功课，考了很多试！读书为了考试，考试为了读书，这整个反反复复的循环真的是很烦啊！天资我没有，努力我有！来吧，谁怕谁？我没有在怕的！

刚才参加了一个华文教会的聚会。深深的感动聚在心中久久不能散去。可能是因为华文所带来的亲切感。可能是太多的压力忧虑在一瞬间被卸下。但是很肯定的是，神就是那么一个行奇妙作为的全能者！圣灵轻轻的抚摸溶化我的心。热泪盈眶奔腾而下。就一首很简单却涵盖深层意义的“轻轻听”。主啊，感谢你。你提醒我继续维持着最初的热心奔驰在这条道路上。我有多久没有燃起心中那一份最初的热情，最初的爱心了呢？主啊，赞美你！你再次的跟我说，无论怎样，无论情况再怎么糟，我都要维持着我那独有的喜乐！是没有人可以把它抢走的！我每天都在跟别人说，不好的事情总有过去的一天，只要持守着喜乐，持守着信心，好的事情总会接踵而来。而我自己有这么做吗？主啊，感谢你透过今天的聚会再次的提醒我，靠着你，没有什么事是不能行的。我一直很喜欢腓立比书四章十三节这么说，我靠着那加给我力量的，凡是都能做。是啊，在神凡事都能！或风浪或低谷，主平安在我心！行在主的旨意，我凡事都能做！

生活嘛，就是平静中带点风浪，风浪中带点平静。总需要互相调和，生活才美丽。在某一天的谈话中，老爸在电话的那一头语重心长苦口婆心的说，既然大家都一起来到这么远的地方读书了，就应该互相照应互相照顾。怎么他要跟别人闹不和呢？真是说得太好太感触人心了。你怎么就不会学一学怎么好好跟人相处呢？怎么就不会对待别人像别人怎么对待你哪般呵？老妈说世界上怎么怪人那么多？记得，如果只有一个人对你有偏见，那可能是那一个人自己有些问题。但是当不只一个人都对你有着同样的意见时，你真的该好好反思。

其实，我好喜欢West Lafayette这个小镇。虽然它偏僻了一点。但是就是这种小镇给了我很多的亲切感。它让我很有置身在诗巫的感觉。那一天，走在路上，突然有个长辈走过来，派给我们一本圣经。这个小镇是一个蒙福的地方！有一天我在公园跑步，就让我看到了两个温馨的画面。这一边，一对年轻父母带着他们的小孩儿们在公园嬉戏。这个父亲将他的小女儿抛上空中，然后再将她紧紧安全的接回自己的怀中。这个妈妈则拿着相机在将家人的每一个细节捕捉下来永远的存档起来。另一边，一对年老的老夫妻悠闲的来到公园，轻轻的互相细谈，一边吃着带来的食物。生命是美好的，不要为了一点点的瑕疵，宁愿选择放大那一点的瑕疵，而放弃了一大片美丽的天空。

人生美好的事很多。如果真的不快乐吧，就还是要苦中作乐！因为没有人应该整天不快乐。因为每个人都有拥有快乐的自由，拥有快乐的资格。没有人该把你的笑容夺走！

逛街购物是个不错的选择！

童年味道的零食！

甜食真的大大提高开心指度！

吃一顿大餐！

就这样的拍照吧！

就这样的诚恳自由自在的笑吧！因为笑容是很有感染力的。因为笑容可以拉近人与人之间的距离。因为笑容是苦毒最好的良药。因为笑对健康是有益的。因为笑，就这么笑吧！笑吧！

不管天有多黑，星星还在夜里闪亮。

不管夜有多长，黎明早已在那头盼望。

不管山有多高，信心的歌把它踏在脚下。

不管路有多远，心中有爱仍然可以走到云端。

娱乐豆！

2011-09-18T10:44:00.000+08:00

我又生病了。到美国刚好一个月。其间竟然小感冒了两次。只能说我老了。免疫系统变得好弱。朋友说，在家里被照顾得太好了吧，即使真的病了，身边总是有一群的天使环绕照顾着我。

一连打了好多个喷嚏，是不是你在想我了呢？

其实，这里啊，除了那阴晴不定的天气和一些惹人反感的人事物之外，一切还是很好的。学长学姐们对我们真的很好，很好！

他们从来都不会摆出任何架子，他们总是那么和蔼可亲的跟我们打成一片，他们总是给我们很多有用的忠告，有好吃的一起吃，有好玩的一起玩，有好笑的一起笑！谢谢你们！

生命的小组，教堂的聚会，弟兄姐妹的爱，神的恩典，让位在这个陌生的领土不再陌生，让我在这一个小镇找到了归属感。

神的爱是信实的。听着一个个那么真实，那么感人的见证，都是神你何等奇妙的作为！是你在你的子民生命中所缔造的爱。主啊，为着这个蒙福的城镇赞美你！

她是马来西亚人。一个跟我同名的学姐。

月圆人团圆的中秋节，我们也过得很好。有很圆的月亮，有好吃的食物，有很美味的月饼，有很怀念很传统的灯笼。

只是在听着月亮圆，听着听着，突然悲从中来，情不自禁不小心哭了一下。

只是有时候，想念真的是会呼吸的痛。

这些日子，我们悟出了一些道理。原来只有诗巫来的人才会那么的恋家，真诚，天真，简单，快乐。请好好的对待珍惜这一帮可爱单纯的人儿吧！

我很骄傲，我是一个诗巫人！在各个不同地方的你们，好好的照顾自己！

很多人说我肥了！只能说美国把我喂得太好了！

我真的不是一个介意这个课题的人。但是，为了健康着想。我会努力运动的！为了让妈咪放心，从明天开始我会努力喝麦片的！

其实生活真是充满了烦恼，为着考试烦恼！为着功课烦恼！为着私事烦恼！为着公事烦恼！所以才有一首歌叫作，最近比较烦！

一直很喜欢这张照片！其实有时候，会有那么一瞬间，我好想回到曾经那懵懵懂懂无忧无虑开心快乐的童年时光！小孩子总是那么单纯，不会有任何奸诈的心计，不会想着怎么样隐藏自己的想法。小孩子总是那么率直，知道就说知道，不知道就说不知道！

人啊，真的不要做得如此虚伪！！

最后，迟来的祝福！马来西亚，831国庆日快乐！916马来西亚日快乐！

我爱我的祖国！！

destined.

2011-09-06T12:25:00.000+08:00

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. -Psalm 23.

The other day, I was chatting with my brother. He wrote something like, mom went to hospital. The first thought came to my mind reading the sentence was actually some kind of intimidation. You know, that kind of scary creepy feeling crawling around my mind, why my mom went to the hospital, what had happened? And then I learned that a relative of mine passed away. For a moment, I actually felt relieved. It's not something happened on my mom. For the next moment, of course I mourned for the death of this relative.

Most of my relatives went back to Sibu for the funeral. I got this chance skyping with so many relatives at one shot. Seeing the familiar faces, listening to the familiar voices, I see my eyes filled with tear. I miss them all. People asked, how are you doing? You know, it's this line which always gets everything mingled up. I'm really not that good. I don't like some of the people here. I don't like food here. I don't like drinking water here. I don't like lectures here. I'm gobbled up by hypocrisy. I am allergy to that certain words spoken by certain being. I am irritated by dishonest attitudes. I am not good enough to love people like how Jesus loves. I am not good enough to forgive people like how Jesus does. I am not good enough to endure hypocrisy and make myself believe that nothing had happened. I am not mighty enough to treat people as good after much irritation. I am not patient enough to bear with the tortoise-speed internet connection.

And I am not courageous enough to tell people who love me about all those complaints. I don't want to see them fretting for me from the land far away. I remembered a lecturer talked about this. You complain to your loved ones about how bad you are doing. You get better some time later. But the people who love you so much, they are worried when they learn that you are not doing good. From the other side of the world, they couldn't eat well sleep well because you said you are not doing good. So, bear with the unpleasant accounts just a little bit more. It is just the course of time. At least, you convince your loved ones you are doing well.

I was looking at the pictures my lovely brothers and sisters took in church family camp. All lovely smiles, all familiar faces. I dearly miss them, man! How I wish I were there, be a part in the camp. I miss my church, I miss my dear brothers sisters in Christ, I miss my shepherds, I miss my media team people, I miss my Sunday school kids! Aw. But I thank God I found my belonged home here in United States. I am attending Bethel Christian Life Center Assemblies of God on Sundays. I am attending Chi Alpha International Life Group on Thursdays. I am attending Ignite (Chi Alpha Gathering) on Fridays. Thank You, Lord for this blessed town, for these faithful servants of Yours glorifying Your Kingdom in daily basis. Thank You, Lord for You have the best plan in store for me!

不要随便去恨一个人，那是对自己的折磨。我们实在没有必要为了一个微不足道的人来折磨自己。你在恨的同时，也磨去了自己心中原有的善良和仁慈，你会觉得所有人都对不起你，你会看不到很多美好的东西。用你自己的原本快乐的心态与精力去交换恨一个人的权力与快感，不值得！-摘自网络。

说的很有道理厚？但是做起来似乎又是另一种说法。该怎么爱一个不可爱的人？爱就对了！爱他够够力！人的爱是不完全的。唯有神的爱是信实的，是永不改变的。主啊，教我以基督的心为心，以神的爱对待世界。主啊，让我领受从你而来的爱。把这份爱传出去。主啊，教我饶恕人的罪，就如你饶恕了我的罪。教我在每一件事上都向你举目仰望，教我活得更像你！

爱不爱，不都要爱，人本来就不完美。爱不爱，不都要爱，我们是那么谦卑。-吴建豪，命定。

奈何

2011-08-31T10:30:00.001+08:00

来美国刚好两个星期了。八月份也接近了尾声。话说马来西亚时间今天是国庆日。其实很想念马来西亚的说。

其实生活真的很烦。大事小事都要烦。原本呢，我以为我是个抗压性很高的生物。但是，种种的挑战真的让我觉得自己要窒息了。对不起，我真的控制不住了，心中澎湃的那一团压力在那一瞬爆发了。虽然说，道歉有用的话警察来干嘛呢。还是 sorry 咯。

主啊，我要每时每刻都仰望你。主啊，我要在每一个挑战中寻求你。主啊，我要在任何事情中让你居首位。主啊，我要在每件事上都让你掌权。主啊，我要在每一个困境中领取从你而来的力量。主啊，我要在每一个难处中领受你的恩膏。主啊，我要活得更像你！

其实，很想家呢。想家里的狗狗们，虽然我真的没有喜欢它们。想家里的爸爸，妈妈，弟弟，妹妹，外婆，婆婆。想家里的每一个每一个人。

很像我的她。

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. -Frederick Koenig.

August.

2011-08-29T04:45:00.001+08:00

八月是一个匆匆忙忙的月份。

八月是一个横跨国际的月份。

八月是一个喜怒哀乐的月份。

八月是一个人生转涙的月份。

八月是一个花朵绽放的月份。

八月的第一和第二个星期是人生旅途中很美丽的曾经。它是那么的真实，却又显得那么的虚无。它是那么的美好，美好的令人质疑它的真切感。家，是那个永远为你敞开的温暖怀抱。家人，就是那些永远都不会抛下你，永远都在第一时间送上关怀的灵魂。家，就是那个你可以毫不避讳的作你自己的港湾。家人，就是那些知道你被欺负了为你哭为你出头的天使。在家里的两个星期是丰盛的，是充足的。每一件的大事小事，它们都包含了最美丽的细节，最纯真的感情。

谢谢，一切的曾经的美好。

虽然，曾经的我真的很向往到国外留学。但在最后的那一刻，我却犹豫了。我害怕了。我退缩了。带着百般不舍，挥别了家人，朋友。我知道前面的路不会是容易的。我难过，我伤心。但是，还是一而再再而三的跟自己说，要坚强。因为我真的不想让我爱的人和爱我的人担心。朋友们的祝福我收到了。真正的朋友，就是知道你真正所需要的，而为着这些需要一起的向上帝祈求的属灵伙伴。真正的朋友，就是就算许久未联络，却还是能毫不尴尬的谈天说地的伴儿。真正的朋友，就是默默地在背后祝福你，伤心时听你述说，开心时跟你一起欢乐的人儿。

谢谢，所有的美好，所有的祝福。

只是，人生完美的事太少，我们不能什么都想要？人总不能一直活在安逸中。而当你选择飞出那熟悉温暖的巢，你应该是清楚的明白那将是旅途的另一个转折点。一切将都不再一样。马来西亚和美国之间的距离到底有多远？我知道它们距离非常非常的远。大约三十个小时的飞航，套一句Chris的话，起飞，转机，起飞，转机，起飞，再转机。这是飞往美国的机程。对，这就是从马来西亚飞往美国的机程。

美国，很美。美国，很大。我现在位于美国的Indiana州，一个叫做West Lafayette的小镇。我很好，只是偶尔的很想家，偶尔的很想念以前的我们。偶尔当然也会有不好的时候。跟Howard同意了一个看法，好的事情，不好的事情都会接踵而来。守得云开见天明！所有的事情都会慢慢变好的。

想念是会呼吸的痛。原来是真的。想念是一种揪心的痛。它是那种痛到心坎里的痛。它是那种让你的心哽咽的刺痛。因为一切都不再一样，因为一切都不再是你所熟悉的曾经，你就开始想念曾经的点滴。你就豁然发现煲电话粥变成了最好的消遣。感谢科技的发达，让时空的距离变为虚无，让两颗心紧紧相依。每一次的通话都让我更好过一点。Jerald说，时间会让一切变好。Grace说，不要做比较，带着乐观的心态面对一切，这样会让大家都好过一点。“哪像我们都老夫老妻了嘛！” 我很想你呢！想你煮东西给我吃。想你在我伤心时紧紧抱着我。想你洪亮的歌声。想你独有的笑声。想念我们的每一分每一秒。别再奈何吧。我们都要过的很好！

其实，人与人之间的关系，在乎的就是一颗真诚的心。虚伪真的是一个很丑陋的面具。我和Grace同意了一个看法，小地方来的人都比较真诚。我们真的没有这个必要去陷害别人。我们真的没有这个欲望去穿上虚假的外套。将心比心，真的有那么难吗？在同时间，这些秉持着一颗真心待人的人们啊，就往往特别容易受伤害。因为他们不晓得真诚可以如此泛滥的被践踏，可以如此廉价的被摧毁。现实就是这样悄悄地告诉你，真诚能当饭吃吗？或许你的生长环境迫使你成了不再真诚。也许你就是这么的被教育成长。但至少我一直以来都被教导以一颗真诚，诚恳的心待人待事。至少我知道就算真诚不能当饭吃，它仍然是一颗心和一颗心之间的重要桥梁，它仍然存在这慢慢被吞噬的现实生活里。

我很开心因为努力生活，和你分享荣耀的每一秒钟。

如果难过你肩膀最辽阔，你帮我带走乌云满布的天空。

如果生活少了有你陪我，我整天开手机也感到失落。

因为我们都最想看到彼此灿烂的笑容。

-郁可唯&林凡, 听你说.

我有你真好。

你能让烦恼变得渺小。

我遇见一个最懂我的人。

我会提醒自己把这份爱收好。

我有你真好。

只要牵着你的手就知道。

我不是一个人在这世界停靠。

因为我拥有你在我心里。

-范玮琪&杨丞琳, 有你真好.

主的爱永远都是那么信实。神永远都为他的子民预备了最好的计划。每一个你所走的道路都拥有神最美好的旨意在里头。但神从来都没有应许我们所走的路会一帆风顺。每一个旅途都有它自己的挑战，困难。前面的路将会越来越崎岖。走至旅途的今时今日，神要的是我们为着逝去的昨天感恩，向着明天遥望，勇敢的一步一脚印走下去。神要的是我们单单的仰望他，他就必把我们所需的都赐给我们。神要的是我们今天，明天，每天每天都注视他，相信他。神说，你要专心仰赖耶和华，不可依靠自己的聪明。-箴言3：5。

You will know that I am the LORD,

those who hope in me will not be disappointed.

-Isaiah 49:23.

2011-08-25T12:58:00.000+08:00

除了家人，我最想念的人是你。

那一句是真的。

明天会更好

2011-08-23T11:01:00.000+08:00

一直告诉自己要勇敢，要坚强。从马来西亚起飞，一直到美国的漫长旅途，我真的忍住了泪水，我真的没有哭。就算在旅途中因为身体不适而在飞机上吐得乱七八糟，我也熬过来了。只是没想到坚强还是败给了所谓的人与人之间那廉价的沟通与性格不合。生气，委屈，各样的种种一直的被压抑着。一直到妈咪打电话来，我真的不能自己的崩溃了。在电话的这一头哭得用完了近两包的面纸。在电话的另一头传来哽咽的叮咛。对不起，我真的不想让你们担心，但是我还是失败了。

纯粹的随笔写写，这样我会好过一点。

常常喜乐，常常祷告，常常感恩，无论环境如何。

明天会更好！=）

Julyyy.

2011-08-04T23:59:00.001+08:00

Time brings all things to pass. -Aeschylus.

But it bears memory. Which you instill and store within you eternally.

But it bears bond. Which you treasure and hold with you firmly.

July had been a very happening month. All those heartfelt moments, all those beautiful trips, all those little details, all those lovely people, they painted the wall of July pretty.

Home sweet home at the end of June, upon graduating from Intec. Home is always good with that kind of homie-feel. It always does. It looked like Sibu has been a famous tourism spot lately. This lovely place which had fed me for the past twenty years. Visiting places I'm familiar of, eating food I'm attached to. That kind of heartfelt moving sensation running through the nerves. And the company of lovely people who I am so reluctant to let go.

Of their trips.

You tend to treasure at the end of time. Intuitively, everyone does. I paid visits to many different places and people within this very particular month. To, a portion of it, settle some forced deals; and of course, another much more big portion of it, to meet people I love, to catch up with people I care, to really cherish what I still have now.

Flying back and forth between east and west for several times. Visiting places ranging from Nilai, down to Putrajaya, KL, PJ, Subang, Shah Alam, Klang, and crossing state border to Johore. With all kind of miscellaneous feeling, emotion. Just in case I might miss these somehow familiar places. Say, Shah Alam. Say, Sunway Pyramid. So much memory etched. So much footprints left. Two years were just significant enough for reminiscing.

Of my trips.

Much appreciation to many people throughout the many trips. Thank Ang for Klang trip. Bah Kut Teh was awesome, just as always. Thank Polycarp and Xavier for helping to move the many things of mine. Thank Auntie for Nilai stay. Thank JPA for Putrajaya visit. Thank Li Yen for the fulfilling steamboat feast. Thank ECA for the warmth, thank brothers and sisters for the welcoming love. Thank Khen and Miu for PJ stay. Thank Leonard for the succulent durian feast. And thank you for driving all the way down to Johore. Thank Yayi for the very meaningful brunch. Thank Bobby for Batu Pahat visit. Thank Yap for Johor Bahru tour. Thank Grace for going all the way from Chaah to JB, just to meet me up. Love you! Thank Andrew for the company, thank you for every this and that. Thank God for the abundant grace and blessing.

Of heartfelt gratitude.

Life is beautiful because of the unseen tomorrow. You live to look forward to every next second. Because you don't know what will happen next. But God knows it best and He has the best in store for you. My sister and I met a relative of ours, and a little bit of unbelievably found out that he will be studying in the same college as my sister. The beautiful coincidence. Had good time with them younger people anyway.

I stayed at my sister's apartment for a week or so. And know what. I met an old classmate staying exactly the same unit of apartment as my sister. Amazing huh. On my flight back to Sibu, I met another old classmate sitting just next to me on the plane. The other day I was settling my medical check-up at the hospital. And I bumped into yet another old friend of mine. Good time catching up with this childhood mate and really thanks a lot for guiding me the process of the check-up. Another day, I came to bump into a high school's closed friend at one of the shopping malls. Is Sibu really that small? Nonetheless, I had a really good time catching up with these long lost mates.

Of beautiful coincidences.

We had this neighborhood-association-dinner the other day. Instead of sitting with my family, I was assigned to be seated with some students who were receiving incentives. On behalf of my sister, I apparently turned to be one of those students. Sitting along with a friend who I have come to know since kindergarten, I came to an abrupt cognition of the cruelty of time. How time flew. Once we're still the little kids in the kindergarten and we're soon departing ways to different part of the world.

You could literally do nothing but bound to the fact of reality. Life goes on. You could as well stand up, look further and catch up with the pace of the path.

I was leading a group of juniors hanging around the other day. Basically they are my sister and her friends who I am also intimate with. Seeing them meeting each other up despite all odds, clicking with each other, talking on respective lives, I see myself two years back then. It's the intimacy between them that inspired me. How much friends mean? They mean a lot. In my life.

Friend is the one who you can lean on when you need a shoulder. Friend is the person who you would treasure of. Friend is the person who you feel secured with his/her presence in your life. Friend is the quiet angel in your life.

Of details that lie inside.

Emo fever had been spreading every now and then, I think. Especially at this period we called, the departing season. Because everyone has been everyone else's hardest goodbye. Because everyone is reluctant to let go of everyone else. Because everyone is in denial of the reality of farewell.

Sending people on and off, seeing people come and go, I think I had come to adapt to the fact that every hi comes with bye. We have been each other's favorite hi and hardest bye. The joy we had, the fun we had, the season we had in the sun. That is what really matter.

So take care and all the best, friends! May the good Lord bless each and everyone of you in your journey ahead. May His grace and peace fall on you richly and that you may soar high and fly high to reach for the stars high above! And that you may lead a beautiful life and have the best out of you always. God bless you!

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint. -Isaiah 40:31.

the parting

2011-07-04T17:13:00.001+08:00

Towards the end of the road, there it was the parting moment. People, or at least I tended to appreciate more at the very time like that. You know, two years could have been just a glimpse.

It's the people. It's the place. It's the experience. It's the lesson.

People said, friends are quiet angels. Those people I come to know, those people I call friends. Everything could have been different without those lovely people clicking along throughout the two years. Cliche, oh. There are these friends who touch my heart with those little things they have done, these people who know me better than I myself do. How little or unnoticeable it might be, yet it is the one which brings the most heartwarming moment. There are these friends who nag on me, like a mom/ big sister, these people who cook for me, who take care of me. These people who laugh with me, cry with me, giving me a big tight hug whenever I need a shoulder to lean on. There are these friends who I hang out with, these people who I have tons of fun with. There are these people who prepare everything for me that I need not to fret about anything, these friends who I can share my heart with, these friends who I can lean on, knowing that I am safe in their arms.

May the Lord now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this. -2 Samuel 2:6.

I blogged about Intec some random day ago, if you notice it. I blogged something like I think I am going to miss Intec when I leave. That's the thing. You see, how much I have been not liking Intec at the very beginning, how much I wanted time to pass quickly that I can finish my studies in Intec as soon as possible. Mind you, it was all back then. I still come to learn the fact that I am reluctant to leave Intec, just like that. That was the very last time I went to Intec for the library clearance stuff. I went on the bus and when it finally slowly drove out from the Intec, my heart gets so dense at that moment. It's like, ow it's the end already. It's sad, you know. Turning my head back, everything happened throughout the two years in Intec- every classes I went, every activities I joined, every person I met, every facility I used, everything, everything just came flashing back in my mind. Turning my head back, I tried to capture the scenery, every bit of it, every corner of it and store them in my mind eternally. Thank you, Intec.

ATU Night. It kicked in just in time to revolve the atmosphere. ATU Night pretty much reminded us that it could be one of the last gatherings for everyone of us. Despite all odds, this year's ATU Night was overall good, with everyone dressed up glamorously.

Gajen and How Soon.

Fun.

Alex.

Akira.

Lawrence.

San Xiu.

Chi Liang.

Ivy, Yeh Tung, and Grace.

Aje.

Everything happens out a reason. I thank God for putting me in Eca, a great church with its members who guide and teach me a lot throughout the two years. I see how I grow in my spiritual life. I see how I grow in my faith. I see how I learn to commit in Christ. I see how I experience God. I see how I serve God. I see how I interact with brothers and sisters in Christ to serve better in church.

Our Lord is a promising God. Thank You, Lord. Life would be still ongoing but it would be so much different without attaching to church. I thank God for so many lovely brothers and sisters who are always there to give encouragement, to push me up when I'm sliding down, to boost my spirit when I'm down, to care for me just like how my family does, to love me just like how God loves me. Thank you, Eca! And thank you, West Zone!

Shepherd, Oikos Shepherd, and Zonal Shepherd.

Thank you, shepherds! I remember how I am touched by those testimonies of Esther and Mordecai in one of the oikos. I thank God for placing such kind of Mordecai in my life. Thank you for giving to the Lord. Thank you for what you've done in my life. Thank you for showing a good example for me to look upon. Thank you for all the good time we share. Thank you for imparting my life with all the good values. Thank you for all kind of blessing. Thank you for shepherding me and shaping me into who I am today.

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God every time I remember you. -Philippians 1:2-3.

Thank you for the farewell feast from west peeps. I thank God for placing us together. Thank you for the time we spent organizing events. Thank you for the time we serve God. Thank you for all kind of fun we have together. Thank you for loving me. You all are that one of a kind. Thank you, deep down from my heart!

Thank you for the farewell surprise from the multimedia team. Thank you for the food, the gift, the blessing. Thank you for the time we spent video shooting, video editing. I thank God for placing me in the multimedia department. We're the best we'll ever be. Thank you, multimedia peeps!

Two years could have been just a glimpse. First day in Intec was like yesterday and now I have graduated from Intec. Graduation day was but another day which reminded us that it could be one of the very last kind of gatherings for everyone of us. How much denial, a fact is still a fact. But we thank technology for capturing every moment of it.

Receiving my cert from the director of Intec.

Pn. Su. =)

En. Sohaimi.

Pn. Zai.

Pn. Nadiah.

Pn. Masturah.

With the end of graduation ceremony, there it was the real parting moment. Emo statuses, comments, pictures all over Facebook and Twitter. Aw. How attached is the bond, and how unwilling we are to break it. Sending off people one by one, I cried every single time of it. Goodbye seemed to be the hardest word to utter at time like that. But saying goodbye seemed to be the only thing left to do at time like that.

So farewell peeps! Till we meet again! =)

summing up summer.

2011-06-29T17:35:00.000+08:00

Basically, Summer of Intec started with the end of Btn camp. And that was about two months ago. Yes, the past two months had been very fulfilling, very stuffy. Thank you, Facebook for its function of tagged photos which made me recall those happenings during that very happening time. So, uh, pictures speak. Cliche enough.

Visa. Of the outfit on the day going for interview and the one printed on passport.

Some of the all time favorite.

Chatime.

Snowflake.

Frogy slippers.

The night is still young. Of memory.

Besties. Of this thing called friendship.

Birthdays. Of lovable Sibu style.

Twin tower trip.

Besties hang-out.

Klang Bak Kut Teh.

Pulau Ketam.

Penang Trip. Of unforgettable captures etched.

And some of the beautiful yummy delicious succulent finger-licking good food.

Moving house. Of never-before-experience.

Feast aftermath.

Community Service.

Happy Mommy Day.

Moving church. Of much fatigues, unites, fun.

And those abundant blessing.

So that pretty much summed up the bygone Summer semester. Much more happenings other than those of course. They will very well be etched in memory deep inside, since they weren't captured in the form of picture, and since the author is sort of lazy to put them in words. So well. I will update another post soon. Which I think means much more to everyone. Which plays a very significant instant for the two-years-Intec's life. None others, but THE PARTING SEASON. Aw.

Til then, enjoy!

this is it.

2011-06-26T00:22:00.000+08:00

Everything comes to a cease now. I owe you posts. Sorry for hiatus. Summer was just too packed I didn't have time to update. Ow. Sending off people, one by one. My heart gets so dense each time. You know, it is easy to say hello but goodbye seems to be the hardest thing to utter, especially at the final call such as this. Okay I shall continue packing. So many things I hope my luggage won't overweight.

I shall update about Summer later.

8)

2011-06-11T02:29:00.001+08:00

最让人心疼的三个星座

天蝎座

你没有看到过天蝎的眼泪，是因为他从来不会在人面前哭，除非你真的把他们的真心夺走了。和天蝎在一起会感到很随和，因为他会包容你的一切。对于天蝎真正喜欢的东西，它是会执着的让人害怕的。天蝎座的人不会放弃世界，却会放弃自己，去成全别人，他们懂得原谅和理解。

In a way or other. Yes.

tearful

2011-05-31T03:19:00.000+08:00

今夜就让泪水尽情泛滥。看着你和他，廉价的泪肆无忌惮滚落。我也好讨厌这样的自己。我真的一点也不勇敢。什么都不能作，除了躲在背里哭。我害怕。我失望。我在乎。我伤心。面对已经变成一件需要很多勇气的事情。

*****

悄悄想起那么一个他。感觉是很奇玄的东西。那一夜。那个人。那种情。爱过所以知道不会再有另一个人能令我拥有你给的感动。暧昧总令人回味。但是跨过那个时间点后会是你和我都想要的吗？酷热的夏天引发许多的热情呵。

*****

偶然的想起许久没有联络的朋友们。跟朋友叙旧是一件最棒的事情，即使是透过科技的不真实。何等欣慰总会有这么一些人随时守候着，受了伤总会知道该往哪儿去疗伤。不能和别人说的秘密总是可以放心的通通倾诉。

*****

恰巧看到朋友在部落格写道人生的分分合合。感叹时间过得何其快。只剩下三个月时间就要飞美国了。偷偷的为了离别提前的掉落了无数的泪。我想家！听到电话里咪担心的语气，我又不小心的哭了。听到电话里爸简单的问候，我又窝心的酸了鼻子红了眼眶。

*****

偶然游走一个朋友的部落格，看到了述说对公公思念的一篇文章。我再也不能自己的把整个枕头给哭湿了。我想念我的公公。非常非常的想念。

*****

哭累了。泪干了。夜深了。

勇气

2011-05-29T00:35:00.000+08:00

只要你也一样的肯定 -我愿意。

c

2011-05-19T15:50:00.000+08:00

感谢科技的发达。一字一句的寒暄温暖就是那么真实的呈现。不需要华丽的排场。关心问候就是那么温暖的触动心弦。原来，常常见面并不与关系密切画上等号。反而，距离使我们的心更密切的靠近。安心的享受在电话的另一头传来的叮咛。感伤的在电话的这一头释放思念的情愁。感受的是真心诚恳，至少不会是尔虞我诈，至少不会是伤害背叛。

委屈的偷偷哭掉了几公升的泪。说不介意不在乎是骗人的。只是如果这是你想要的，那就这样吧。对你，真的很失望。因为当所秉持的理念和想法再也不一致的时候，一定要有某一方的默默妥协。只想要好好的沉淀，沉默，把所有情绪平面，悄悄的将自己隔离于诸多的是是非非。沉默，因为需要时间重拾对你的信心。沉默，因为为了不让眼泪往下流。沉默，因为它是伪装的最好方法。但是请你记得沉默，不代表能够容忍更多的更过分的伤害。

我只想要好好的睡一觉。

要笑不要哭

2011-05-15T00:22:00.000+08:00

面对讨厌的人，对他微笑，笑得真诚，因为你在无视他，

面对你的敌人，对他微笑，笑得真诚，让他猜不透你，

面对比你强的人，对他微笑，笑得真诚，让他轻视你，

面对比你弱的人，对他微笑，笑得真诚，让他跟随你，

面对无理的人，对他微笑，笑得真诚，让他无可奈何，

面对风度的人，对他微笑，笑得真诚，显示你的风度，

面对你爱的人，对他微笑，笑得真诚，他会读懂你的心...

面对众人的不谅解时，保持微笑，因为你必需知道你并没有错，

面对不满的事情时，保持微笑，你没必要让别人的过错影响你，

面对欺骗的时候，保持微笑，这样你才能看见最精彩的结局，

面对无奈的时候，保持微笑，因为无奈不是你哭就能解决的...

如果有一天，你真的伤心了，你真的累了，真的想哭了，

学着微笑面对众人吧，没人能够理解你的眼泪的，

即使理解，也没人能够替你承受那样的痛苦...

如果有个人懂得你的人，让他看见你的眼泪，

如果你没有遇见那个人，自己躲着一个人哭吧，

伤心过了，哭过了，你应该学会如何笑得真挚，

微笑，不是让你带着一副假面具去面对人生，

你要学会的是，无论什么样的时候都能笑得真诚，

那一种发自内心的微笑，那一种与心情无关的微笑，

渐渐地，你会发现，

微笑真的只是一个表情，不能代表你的喜悦，

但这样的微笑却能够能让你明白，

真的没什么事情是值得你去发脾气的，

遇见开心的事，笑一笑，日子就这样过了，

遇见难过的事，笑一笑，其实也没多难过...

真正的微笑，并不是因为你开心，

而是因为你学会如何去不在乎了...

晚春初夏

2011-05-14T04:19:00.000+08:00

Days had been very stuffy. I guess that explains the little hiatus of update here at this site. The past weeks had been very packed. In an amazing way. In a good way. Let’s see.

The amazing journey kicked in with nothing better than the end of the finals. The papers weren’t that bad but they weren’t that good, either. It turned out, however, satisfying. The grades, I meant. Praise the Lord. I then walked on to the two important days in Christianity, namely Good Friday and Easter day. Good Friday’s service was basically great with seven leaders sharing the seven verses spoken by Jesus from the cross (the last words of Jesus) and leading an anointed prayer session. I was once again been reminded, been touched by the sacrificial love, the mightiness, the power of the death on the cross. I was once again been showered by the unfailing love and the unveiling comfort of Him, the Lord Jesus Christ. And the heart cried out, how wonderful is our God, how beautiful is our Lord. Thank You, Lord.

The next day, our oikos was up with an outing to waterfall at Hulu Langat. It was a lovely day fellowshipping, playing in water, sharing. And yes, waterfall is pretty! I would, if given a chance, definitely pay my visit to the place again! Thanks to the heavenly Father for blessing us, for providing us with all the good things. Thanks to the juniors who are willing to join us. Thanks to Howard for his car. Thanks to Akira for his camera. Thanks to Andrew for driving, especially through the nearly-two-hours-congestion. Thanks to everyone. Be blessed. And so, we finally made our way back to Shah Alam after almost two hours in the car. Dropping juniors, we went on sending Akira to KTM Station, and sending Bryan who just sprained his leg earlier that day to clinic. And so we have a temporary OKU friend.

It was Easter day then. It’s a day worth of celebration, because our God has resurrected from death, because our God has overcome death, because our God has risen and conquered the grave! Hallelujah. I’m impressed with a Sunday school’s kid singing “Here I am to worship” at the beginning of worship session. How beautiful is a kid’s voice singing praises to God. Many a time, we adults make ourselves too complicated to freely, purely praise the Lord. We lose the initial passion to yearn for God. Don’t we? It’s worth of pondering.

That particular evening, I visited Acts Church. Due to the convenience of going KL after that. Officially, our so called “The night’s still young” started. First stop, Jogoya. Thanks to Angelina for the treat. Truthfully, its food was not as good. The quality is seriously going down. Nevertheless, we had fun feasting, making jokes out of ourselves, and snapping photographs. Next stop, cinema. Watched a movie called “Limitless”. After that, it was basically the so called “syok sendiri” time where we had nothing better to do that we started to find signboards, posters, etc and we went taking pictures with us imitating the poses. Until the camera ran out of battery. In the end, we headed to a random McD’s outlet. To sleep. Got back to hostel at 6am. I did nothing but go straight to bed.

Waking up from sleep, I was reluctantly getting myself ready for BTN camp. So boarded on bus and headed to Klang. Alright, BTN wasn’t that bad. It was overall good, despite the deficiency of sleep, and the disconnection with the outside world, and some really stupid games played. So five days were gone and we were proudly graduated from BTN. Uh huh, the conclusion would be, I LOVE MALAYSIA! We are ONE MALAYSIA!

Came back from BTN, straight away I went for Apostolic Prophetic Conference in church. It was a great seminar with awesome speakers: Apostle Ron Sawka, Rev. Ong Sek Leang, and our very own senior pastor, Rev. Sitoh Veenah. All I could say is Apostle Ron Sawka is a much anointed servant of God. He leads powerful sermons. He easily builds up the anointing of Holy Spirit in people. And you know what, he remembers every single bible verses without referring to the bible. That conference basically focused more on the practical of AP where there were many apostolic prophetic actions. I am abundantly blessed throughout the seminar. Praise the Lord.

Following next, literally, ceaselessly, we’re involved in the new church renovation. Undeniably, it was tiring. But you see, God always works in such an amazing way to let us, or at least me experience Him, see from His sight. It’s the faith that we hold firm to, believing that God has His best plan in store for us. Because He is a promising God. Amen? It’s the unity of brothers and sisters moving towards the same vision which counts. It’s the fellowship among the members of Christ which matters. And we are yet to realize, all things do not just happened supernaturally. It’s God who reigns from heaven above. Appreciate, give thanks while we still can.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose.” –Romans 8:28.

We had a good launching service on Saturday evening. Praise Him.

Not forgetting also, I had eventually done with my passport after the very third visit to the department of immigration. Yes, thank You Lord.

It was Mother’s day. It was a Sunday. It was a very meaningful Sunday. It was even an amazing Sunday. It was the ordination of Ps. Law! Congratulations! And it was a moving service with Sunday school’s kids performing and Ps. Lim preaching. And it was an amazing day when I met up with Michelle, and together headed to Sharon’s place cluelessly, directionlessly. We missed Sharon’s birthday and so we’re out of random, thinking of giving her a surprise. We did surprise her. We did give her a blast. That matters. Because of this thing called FRIENDSHIP. Love you, babe. I’m looking forward to our next meeting.

I missed my mom a lot that night. We talked on phone for quite long. And many a time I hardly controlled my tear from rolling down. I missed home, listening to how the family members gathered and celebrated the lovely festive. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! To my mom, my two grandmas! Mother’s day present for my awesome mom this particular year is a simple yet thoughtful accessory, lipstick. Love you.

The past week had been ridiculously hot. The heat was overrated. I'm not exaggerating. Until yesterday, it finally rained. Oh praise the Lord! The temperature is coming back to normal. This week had been a blessed week. Starting off with my oikos shepherd treating us a movie and a good feast, and a match of pool or two. It's the fellowship that matters. And we had this distribution of flyers for the community service next week at Jinjang community. It was a blessed evening reaching out to the community there. I believe next Tuesday is going to be a great day servicing the community in Jinjang! And we had two lovely angels sending dessert all the way from Subang to Shah Alam to us to soothe the tension of scorching heat. Lord, bless your servants! And we had combined oikos with USJ oikos. Like, after so so long. It felt really good!

So, it is summer sem now. I'm taking two subjects: Sociology and Experimental Biology. It's good thus far. Time is flying in a glimpse. Appreciate the last months in INTEC, people!

And it's 4:19am. Sleep tight.

Til then.

Flatline

2011-05-11T01:33:00.001+08:00

最近有一个愿望，就是把红蜻蜓这系列的书看完。看完这本“一封迟来的信”后，感触良多。那么的写实，那么的生活化。友情可以那么坚强，却也可以那么脆弱。我没有后悔说出很坚决的那一句不要。放不下也好，自私也好。却是真真正正的害怕。所以在承受不了之前转身离开。原来，俗语是真的。不要在任何一段感情里投注真心。赌注越大，胜算并不会跟着增多。伤害反而才是伴随着那一颗心的终结者。没有谁对谁错，那也并不重要。只是当一个信念不能认同另一个信念时，最后的胜利者并没有真正的赢得光彩，因为你根本不可能知道另外的那一方是怎么的悄悄促使整个故事的演变。忠诚。背叛。看似两个在不同极端的个体，它们其实只相差于那一线之间。很多事情，不说，因为说了亦于事无补。不说，并不代表真的什么都不懂。将所有平面化过后，重新的躲在一个角落审核，原来可以把事情看得如此清晰。所以，平面化未尝不是一件好事！

watch me burn

2011-05-04T01:12:00.000+08:00

我没有睡不好没有睡不够只是我并没有你们想象的大方勇敢不要再说你懂当你什么都不懂的时候不要继续幼稚那样一点都不可爱不要继续伪装那样只会让我更加讨厌你假装什么都不在乎只是每一次的刺痛却那么真实什么都不要说因为话语很容易伤害人因为眼泪会不小心往下流什么都已经不重要只是那种傻傻的等待与在乎原来是很私密的不需要让任何一个人知道知道自己在乎过就好所谓的友谊万岁只是写在纪念册里的片面词句都只是琅琅上口的歌词旋律勇气和时间很重要这个时候

想念根本不需要理由泪流顺着地心吸力的原理什么也不说不想要爱我的人担心只是好好的把委屈通通都哭出来能放心的哭一场是再微笑的力量 #想家

2011-04-21T18:14:00.001+08:00

一个普通朋友见了你点头微笑，

一个真正朋友见了你没有问候，

一个普通朋友几年不见就觉得生疏，

一个真正朋友十年不见却更感亲热，

一个普通朋友的电话写在电话簿上都记不住，

一个真正朋友的电话没有写下来却总记得一清二楚，

一个普通朋友来你家会很客气，

一个真正朋友来你家自己打开冰箱拿饮料，

一个普通朋友见你做错了会假装没看见，

一个真正朋友见你做错了会告诉你不能这样做，

一个普通朋友愿意和你说他的胜利往事，

一个真正朋友愿意和你说他的不如意和挫折失败，

一个普通朋友在和你吵架后就成了仇敌，

一个真正朋友在和你吵架后依然是朋友，

一个普通朋友让你近墨者黑，

一个真正朋友让你知道近墨者会黑，

一个普通的朋友只关注你飞得高不高，

一个真正的朋友只关注你飞得累不累。

考试前夕

2011-04-17T19:21:00.000+08:00

感觉是一个很微妙的东西。渗透一切的背后真的蕴涵了那一点的什么吗？那还是保持现状。就一直的将那一点的什么藏在最深处。因为错过就是错过了。释怀也不是真的那么难嘛！

* * * * * * * * * *

这学期最忙的一个星期也就这样悄悄的溜走了。间中包含的欢笑，泪水，愤怒，呐喊，焦虑，压力，感动，不舍，思念，种种情绪，原来生活就是如此。

生命中拥有耶稣是很感恩的事。生命中拥有家人是很幸福的事。生命中拥有朋友是很感动的事。生命中拥有所拥有的就是最完美的一件事情！

很轰动的砂拉越选举也就这样即轰动又不轰动的结束了。我可以很大声很骄傲的说，我从头到尾都在跟进有关于大选的新闻及八卦。结果怎样我真的不是那么在乎。但是我享受那种跟进更新的感觉。就是喜欢大选前那种热闹的气氛。虽然人不在诗巫，但是还是很努力的跟进每一个报导和细节。总之就是很努力很拼命的让自己有那种置身在诗巫的感觉。不要说我吃饱没事做，我只是比较关心时事而已！

到头来，我觉得整个选举中，最可怜最无辜的人莫过于关良和张栋梁！请大家不要杯葛他们。我个人真的觉得他们超无辜！

* * * * * * * * * *

在特别想回家的那股冲动中，我吃到了Kampua, Kompia, 还有Galang。你知道那是多么美好的一件事吗！谢谢！诗巫的味道虽然经过了飘洋过海，它亦然是那么的温暖，那么的美妙！

* * * * * * * * * *

因为学校的一个活动，很有幸的可以跟一个之前一直都不是很熟的朋友合作。我们的工作呢，就是买食物。我还真是离不开食物啊？就这样莫名其妙的成为食物组委员。重点呢，这个朋友人超好！跟她在一起，我整个心情也会变好。真的。因为一些沟通上的代沟还有点点滴滴的事情导致我的心情根本就超暴躁。结果呢，跟这个朋友一起出去，我整个就忘记了要生气。哈哈！还有一个重点就是，她有一辆Mini Cooper.　所以本人就很有幸的在人生中第一次乘坐Mini Cooper.

话说，我有三个很特别的朋友。他们是徐爱真，沈美龄，还有林乾光。当然我也很特别，所以才能和他们成为朋友。话虽如此，有时候我还真的觉得我真的很可怜。因为我每一次都是被这三个特别的朋友欺负的对象。你知道他们有多特别吗？他们会使劲的唱一些很感动的歌，一直到我哭为止，然后他们就会很开心！哈哈哈！然后呢，每天都要说我身体上的某一个部位的事情。几乎呢每一件根本没有关系的事情，他们都要把它们扯在一起。当然啦，我也会很配合他们。配合他们一起活在幻想的世界里！

正经的。还是很谢谢这一群有很多点神经病的朋友！因为没有他们，生命不会充满这么多欢笑，生命不会这么精彩，生命不会时时刻刻充满惊喜！

“朋友一生一起走，那些日子不再有，一句话一辈子，一生情一杯酒。朋友不曾孤单过，一声朋友你会懂，还有伤还有痛，还要走还有我！”

朋友们，接下来的考试加油！！

but i miss you

2011-04-15T03:09:00.000+08:00

I felt so reluctant to accept the fact that you're leaving. All in a sudden. I couldn't even send my bestie off to Japan yesterday, because of this event named Speech Night. You know, I could still suppress my emotion yesterday. I mean I just felt a bit depressed to learn the fact I was unable to send her off. Until today, when Angelina suddenly talked about the song "Friend", and especially when she started to sing it out. Oh gosh. Tears blurted out, like the water tap being turned on.

I started to miss you already. Ivy Ho, take really good care of yourself there alright! Keep me updated always. May the Lord bless you richly in paths ahead. Be blessed with abundant grace and love from Him. All the best and take care. Much, much love.

2011-04-13T12:12:00.000+08:00

All of a sudden, I just want to cry. Can i just leave everything and go back home now.

you know what.

2011-04-13T01:35:00.000+08:00

You know what. Sometime you don't say what you really mean. Not that you don't want to, instead you don't need to. A big cognition I have come out with is, you would not want to talk when you are not in the right mood. No, I think I should say, you would better be not talking because you talked something which may hurt under that kind of circumstance.

And you know what. I was pissed off earlier today. Yes, I know you are angry. But you don't need to be rude. You are not the only one who have the right to be angry.

And and you know what. I had time spent with a very kind friend. She is so kind that I didn't dare to be angry. Or I shall say, my anger vanished all in a while. The task was tough. But I had these few lines running in my mind at that instant. We have joy, we have fun, we have season in the sun. That matters. A lot.

I need to be patient. Justin Bieber just tweeted this: patience is a virtue.

Indeed.

tough

2011-04-10T16:58:00.000+08:00

This is the first time I typed the title before I started to type the contents. I am so sure of what I'm going to tell. TOUGH. This week is going to be very tough. I think it could be the busiest time for Spring 2011.

The whole week is packed. Fully packed.

Let's just see:

Cell Biology Test.
Church Usher Training.
Empirical Report.
Cell Biology Assignment.
Speech Night.
Speech Night Performance's Practices.
Ethics' Final Exam.
Cell Group Worship Leading.
Eca Tv Clips.

Wow. I'm impressed.

And guess what. I felt so much want to go back home for the past days. It was Chin-Ming and that was time when all or almost all relatives are going back Sibu from different places. And I SERIOUSLY miss it. I miss celebrating grandma's birthday with whole bunch of lovely members. What more, election is happening now in Sarawak. Trust me, I miss that kind of so called election-environment going around in Sibu. I miss going speeches by those candidates. I miss watching those signboards, posters hanging all around the town. I miss how different parties criticized one another. Although I'm really not that into political stuff. But still. I miss home! I miss Sibu!

Anyway, a big thank to this thing called technology for allowing at least, the virtual feeling of experience. Yeah.

Well I should be studying for tomorrow's test before I'm off to Speech Night Performance Practice.

ALL THE BEST TO MYSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE.

God bless you and me.

ticked.

2011-04-08T01:00:00.000+08:00

Something that you thought and something that is a fact will never parallel each other. Yes, I thought thing should turn out in the way I thought of. And yes, it didn't happen. There's this wild desire to cry my heart out, but it's not worth it. Totally not.

Speechless. In my very inner nerve. Because of this thing known as, fade up. There is this quote in a drama which I think speaks my conscience at this very moment. The quote sounds: Why are you asking my opinion when you're actually having your mind made up? I mean, yes, there's no point of doing that.

Time makes thing clear? It is just not now. That was what I thought. You see. The fact kicks in, telling how swallow is the thought. No one to be blamed, no one to be offended. This is just uh, some random blurting from mind after much observing of what happened these days.

Because I treasured. And I want to continue treasuring.

;_;

2011-04-05T17:13:00.000+08:00

当眼泪失控的流下

那就放心的哭一场

我要回家。可以吗？想回家到我真的去亚航网站查了一下飞机票。
我不想生病。可以吗？这样只会让我更想回家。

陪你等天亮

2011-04-03T01:34:00.000+08:00

眼看星星落下
窗外一點一點出現陽光
你摸我的頭你說我很棒
我們都是這樣
一面帶著傷痕一面飛翔
難過的時候有我在身旁

我陪你等天亮擁抱著一起分享
能放心的哭一場是再微笑的力量
只有你明白我的瘋狂
不管故事有多長世界對我太善良
這一路上有你我變得堅強

你知道我多傻
在你面前從來不用逞強
聽我說說話讓我靠一下
我們都是這樣
想要幸福卻都跌跌撞撞
可是不要怕有我在身旁

我陪你等天亮擁抱著一起分享
能放心的哭一場是再微笑的力量
只有你明白我的瘋狂
不管故事有多長世界對我太善良
這一路上有你我變得堅強
你才看見我早已經學會
就算逆風也能好好帶著祝福不再流淚
勇敢地飛然后分享那種喜悅

我們都是這樣
一面帶著傷痕一面飛翔
難過的時候有你在身旁
我陪你等天亮擁抱著一起分享
能放心的哭一場是再微笑的力量
只有你明白我的瘋狂
不管故事有多長世界對我太善良
這一路上有你我變得堅強

许慧欣，潘玮仪 - 陪你等天亮。

一直以来都很爱很爱的一首歌。一首歌词旋律都很赞的歌。听得很感动，听得很陶醉，听得很上瘾，听得很窝心。

就这样，就这样一直的让我陪着你一起等天亮。
就这样，就这样一直的让我拥抱着一起分享。
就这样，就这样一起带着伤痕一起飞翔。
就这样，就这样一直的明白我的疯狂。

就这样，就这样摸摸我的头。
就这样，就这样听我说说话。
就这样，就这样让我靠一下。

就这样，就这样不管故事有多长。
就这样，就这样带着祝福不再流泪。
就这样，就这样朝着我们的幸福前进。
就这样，就这样因为有你让我变得坚强。

=)

最近比较烦比较烦比较烦！

2011-03-31T16:14:00.000+08:00

天气热，导致心情也非常暴躁！再加上好朋友来袭，简直就要奔溃了！再来，无止境的大大小小考试，怎么读也不明白的功课，整个就很烦啊！

现在呢，就在读着化学，为了待会儿的测验！读着读着，突然间就觉得心情很不好！感觉呢，以为自己明白了，却又突然发现，原来还是不明白！这种感觉真的很逊！

又有一些，某一些态度真的很差的人，一直出现！就好像冤魂般，走到哪都会遇到一样！这段期间，又似乎拥有特别多活动！几乎每天都忙到，唯一可以做的事情就只有睡觉了。

结语：最近比较烦比较烦比较烦！

这种日子赶快过吧！！我接受唔到啊！！

这是一个充满感叹号的文章！！！

what a day

2011-03-28T01:02:00.000+08:00

What a day, in a positive sense. Because it seems the phrase "what a day" usually goes with something bad, so yes, it is a good one in this case.

Waking up to an awesome Sunday service could have been the greatest thing to do on a Sunday morning. Yes, amazing is our God. It was a great Holy Communion service! Praise the Lord for His greatness. While still contemplating on going in front during the praying session, because I was not sure is that God's calling. That was just a few seconds, and I spontaneously dragged my feet or I'll rather say, the self conscience, consciousness pushed me ahead. And I knew it's God, working in His amazing way.

When Pastor Alice started praying for me, I couldn't hold my burning fire in my chest no more. Tears dropped and it just won't stop. I was completely showered in God's presence. I was completely touched by the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Jesus! You're just so so good. I just want to praise You. I just want to worship You. Because You are deserved of all praises!

The day itself ended with a good birthday blast and celebration for a friend. Happy Birthday dear shepherd! So this is how the prank went on.

I practically sent a message to her saying:

Xin Mei, i very sad now. :( i quarreled with my friend just now. Later i go to find u at ur place. Around 8pm.

She replied:

Ar?why quarrel with ur friend?

And I got back to her with:

Later when we meet tell you the whole thing.

By that time, we were all on the way going to her place already. And out of randomness, or some sort of making the drama real, another friend, Bobby sent a message to Xin Mei with something like:

Amy cried dao very terrible just now eh, nearly dehydrated. By the way u know what happened?

And she replied, something like:

Why u didn't comfort her?! You staying so near with her. I'm so far away, just can contact with phone.

And so on and so forth, we reached. I called her, telling her I'm below her apartment and asking her to come down. With Bobby accompanying me, and the other people hiding somewhere else. So, the blast. Dragged her into the car while she's with some home-clothes. And had a good celebration at Wong Kok Restaurant, Sunway Pyramid.

Anyway, Happy Birthday! May God bless you richly in the year ahead, in every endeavor you're doing. Be blessed with wisdom, grace, mercy from God. Press on in His kingdom and soar like an eagle in every aspects of your life! And thank you for being a great shepherd!

The awesome weekend with literally the painting fun, as in painting the nursery room of church on Friday, the sleeping fun, as in waking up early with the compassion to study Biology but then failed sleeping the whole day off on Saturday, and the purely blessed and fun-filled Sunday was then officially ended. Getting back to hostel, I am feeling ridiculously hot now! Oh gosh, I can't bear this heat!

I could always use up more weekends. Why don't weekends be longer, huh?

Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let bed bugs bite!

God bless you!

朋友。情

2011-03-25T17:27:00.000+08:00

你发现了吗？

1）关系越好的，往往是最爱损你的。

2）和她们说话时，你总是能自动屏蔽那些不爱听的。

3）你的毛病她们永远比你更清楚。

4）碰到你以前喜欢过的人，她们总是特别激动地喊你快看快看。

5）有了小秘密，总是第一个想跟她们分享。

6）其实最关心你的，永远是那个最爱打击你的。

7）你们有着或多或少的相同的爱好，哪怕只有一点点。

8）只有在她们面前的那个，才是最最真实的你。

9）你们一块腐一块抽，被旁人当神经病也笑得灿烂。

10）你们有着自己的小世界，虽然没有故意，但也是不经意的排他。

11）你们约定着，总是有那么那么多的以后。其实只是分不开。

12）你们好到会经常被人说有同.性.恋。

13）其实你们会经常吵架，却总是厚着脸皮磨回来。

14）你总是所想到的只有她是不是能幸福。

15）你可以无限制的随时随地欺负她，却不允许外人凶她一句。

16）你总是一副很花.痴的样子，她们一边说你没眼光，一边伸着脖子陪你一起看。

17）当某个人不在时，一群人会理所当然地想同样的情况下那个人会怎样做。

18）被猜中心事的你，永远都只会“哼”的一声扭过脸去死不承认。

19）即使你总是埋怨她们给你买的东西不好看，也总是挺高兴的用着。

20）即使你想说句好听的话，却发现那样的肉麻根本不合适。

21）你们喜欢买相同的东西，无论大小，生怕全世界不知道你们好。

22）你们总是同情心泛滥，说着BS你，心里也挺同意。

23）你们都是善良的人，所想的都只是简简单单，快快乐乐的过一辈子。

24）这样的人需要时间的磨合。

-摘自网络面子书。

你相信吗？读着读着我就哭了。是感动的泪，鼻头一酸，哭了。

感动因为读着的时候，脑海里总有这么一个人浮现。感动因为我们都一直在做着这一些的事情。感动因为这种很玄的情紧紧地系着两个人。感动因为发现原来你有多么在乎她，她有多么在乎你。感动因为我可以很骄傲的说我拥有真正的好朋友。

对不起，所有的任性。对不起，有时候的不理不睬。对不起，偶尔那伪装的逞强，因为不想你看到懦弱的泪水。与其说生气，难过，委屈，而默默滑落双颊的咸咸泪水，很多时候却都是因为朋友那么一丁点的关心，有时候就只有这么一句轻轻淡淡的“你干吗生气？讲啦！”而再也忍不住那没用的眼泪，心头就这么暖暖的被感动，百般牵动了每一根情绪。

感恩你在我的生命里出现。谢谢，总是纵容一切的任性。谢谢，总是体贴的思想周到。谢谢，总是让我很安心的知道该做的事情。谢谢，所有的感动。谢谢，总是带着这么有感染力的快乐。谢谢，在我心情不好的时候请我吃东西。谢谢，一路上有你的陪伴。谢谢，所有的一切。珍惜这一种很玄的情在彼此间环绕。虽然总爱对着彼此大呼小叫，虽然表面上不表示什么却其实在乎的要命，虽然总是在无情的亏损着对方，虽然总是在疯疯癫癫的过生活，虽然并不知道以后会怎么样。小小声的告诉自己，要学会珍惜当下。珍惜，把握，紧紧地抓着不放。

情。友。

三个星期

2011-03-22T00:25:00.001+08:00

最近似乎跟“三个星期”特别有缘。

首先呢，年头的时候就回到Shah Alam 开始了新的一个学期。上课了“三个星期”，就又回到Sibu 过新年。新年假期，再加上偶然增长的假期，就在Sibu 逗留了很丰盛很有意义的“三个星期”。接着呢，就再次回到了Shah Alam 继续上学。然后又很巧的，又是再一次的“三个星期”过后，Mid-term break 而又回到我最爱的Sibu 了！生活真美妙啊。

这一篇应该要从新年过后的那“三个星期”说起。感觉好就没有好好的打出一篇文章。

三个星期，除去了第一个星期，剩下的两个星期应该是这个学期到目前为止最忙的一段时期。忙，忙得很开心，忙得有意义。

间中夹杂欢笑，泪水，感动，感触。

考试。让我觉得很可笑。考试的最终目的竟然是那很可笑的分数！所谓大学生，却依然存在那种比较分数，遮盖分数的幼稚行为。一直以来，都很不能理解很不能明白，分数真的这么重要吗？真的有必要为了这种可笑的小事而心烦一整天，甚至在不经意间与别人结仇吗？

做好自己的本分，对得起自己就好！分数真的不代表什么，甚至什么都不是。

除了考试呢，还有两个的video editing. 接着，参与了American Got Talent 简称AGT 还有Class parade 的排练。同时间还要完成Technical Writing 的网页设计并在隔天present. 老实说，很满意我们一组的网页。虽然真的是在很短的时间并连夜赶工完成的。Presentation 也都很顺利。老师呢，看起来也蛮喜欢它的样子。感谢赞美主！

网页的首页。

来说一下AGT Audition吧。练习的时候呢，How Soon就不小心受伤了。再加上时间紧迫，上台的时候简直就一团乱。希望Yap 不要太失望呀。话说呢，我们的学弟妹好像很多才多艺呵！结论呢，就是我不小心变成了dancer！哈哈哈。

然后呢，三个星期里头，去了KL 三次。也就是每个星期都有去到KL 就对了。第一个星期的拜五，在Cheras 庆祝雅意的生日。然后就呆在那儿看半夜场电影。那天晚上，罗志祥竟然在Pavilion 有签唱会。很好笑的就是，到了活动结束了，我才知道这个消息！那天就看了127 Hours！在之前的post 有提及过。

第二个星期，原本是要去Jogoya，结果因为太多人，最后转站到Lot 10 的 Shabu One. 很丰盛的一餐啊！后来因为Rachel 要见她朋友，就去到了Pavilion 然后迈向戏院。看了 “I am number four”. 很不错的电影。但是我们自己所幻想的情节似乎比电影本身更精彩。跟爱真两个在戏院根本疯了，想笑又得憋着还真是痛苦啊。

再来呢，第三个星期，拜五早上就搭飞机回来Sibu 了！因为第二天的班机很早，所以前一天晚上就下到KL 了。话说我们真是很有探险家精神呵！什么都不懂，什么都没有计划，就拉着行李出发了。到了KL Sentral 就很晚了。第一件做的事情就先找loker 然后把行李放进去。接着就搭着最后一辆Monorail 到了Bukit Bintang. 开始我们的The night is still young! 哈哈。首先呢，就去医了我们的肚子，是很棒很棒的华人餐！接着呢，毫无方向的到处乱走。最后决定去Pavilion 然后买了电影票，进戏院看 “Sanctum”. 很好看！James Cameron 所执导的戏果然还是有一定的水准！但是爱真却在戏院里睡了两小时。

看完戏，一片茫然。最后坐计程车回到KL Sentral. 然后买了巴士票，启程去机场。机场还真是the night is still young！超多人！连想找一个地方坐下都有点难。不过最后还是找到了位子然后继续睡觉。结果呢睡过了头，差点赶不上飞机。最后还是顺利的搭上飞机，平安抵达民都鲁。谢谢爱真的爸爸载我们回到Sibu. 所以呢，我现在在Sibu 过着似天堂的生活。哈哈！

友情。最近感触良多。有时候，一直以来都认为是好朋友的朋友，有时候在各种因素的影响下，彼此的关系在无意间，在人们没有发现下，就悄悄的不再是原有的样子了。怎么说呢，间中总存在着一层隔阂，很难能消除的那种隔阂。也许是彼此一起相处的时间的关系。彼此间的那种默契，那种互动，真的是所谓朋友间很需要的因素。真的要好好珍惜当下所拥有的。至少以后往回看，自己是没有遗憾的。

Sibu. 还是一样这么温暖，这么可爱。享受与家人亲戚们一起的时光。享受与朋友们共度的时间。享受每天早上被妈咪叫起床然后跟家人一起出去吃早餐。享受妈咪特别在每一餐准备的大餐。享受家里三个baby 的笑声，哭声。享受家里两条狗的叫吠声，虽然我真的不怎么喜欢它们。享受冲凉时有热水器。享受一切的一切。珍惜所有的一切。珍惜跟几个小学老师们的聚餐。珍惜跟好久没见面的朋友见面。珍惜Sibu 的美食。珍惜Sibu 独有的味道。

人生。无常。上一秒跟下一秒的事情谁也不能料到。两天之内，听到了两个老师过世的消息。一个是小学老师，一个是学院的老师。安息吧。谢谢您们曾经付出的一切。

现在。一星期的假期过后，又从Sibu 回到Shah Alam了。基于懒惰的关系呢，这一篇文章写了很多天。从Sibu写到了Shah Alam.

很忙碌的开始。接下来会是很忙的一个星期。

发现。一件很残酷的事实。我易黑，但不易白！这真是很懊恼啊！

刚刚。妈咪打电话来，只为了叫我赶快睡觉。窝心。

虽然。还是会有想家。但是会好的！

晚安！神祝福你！

nil

2011-03-09T13:46:00.000+08:00

After so long, it's the very first time I feel that I'm so distracted with the thing so called, mark.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Why the hell is mark so important, in some people's mind? Mark isn't all, mark isn't anything man! Is it just me or mark is really that important?

I just can't and never can adapt to this kind of environment.

F A I T H

2011-02-28T01:07:00.001+08:00

It had been long when a movie could touch heart, at least mine in that kind of stunning way. It had been so long when a movie could really termed as movie, worthy of watching. Believe me, 127 hours made it.

Nothing beats one's will to live.

Every second counts.

Based on a true story, the movie stunned me, with the great message delivered, with the overflown but well done editing skills with the just cool sound effects.

It was an amazing weekend. Faith really counts.

When God's being prioritized, everything's well.
With His abundant blessing.

For this much faith I have in You. Thank You.

Praise is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.

I just want to praise You, Lord!

新。序

2011-02-22T00:47:00.000+08:00

今晚无论如何一定要好好的更新一下部落格。现在是11点50分。

过了一个很棒很充实的农历新年。竟然在诗巫呆了有点难以置信的十九天！逃了三天的课，丢了两张飞机票。祝福满满，享受家，享受诗巫的一切，甚至庆祝了元宵节才返回西马。

今年的新年，因为公公刚去世不久，所以涵义上庆祝的比往年来得较平淡一些。但是我真的非常珍惜，珍惜与家人一起的时光，珍惜与朋友一起的时刻。就在与中学的朋友们团拜的那一天，在与他们道别的那一霎那，竟然万分感慨涌上心头。每个人都即将要踏上各自的人生旅途，生活就是如此残酷，就连何时再见面都似乎是如此的遥遥无期。

十九天的假期，也就这么一眨眼消失不见了。搭上最最早的那一班飞机，万分不舍的说再见。跟外婆说我走了 bye bye，结果还是怎么样都忍不住眼泪，偷偷的转过身擦掉它。到了机场一直和妈妈一起，到了最后最后的那几分钟才姗姗的走进 boarding room. 虽然妈咪没有说，但是我知道她在想着同样的事情。因为好几次，在我说我先进去了的时候，她都一直拖着我，问着说着一些有的没的。走进去时，始终还是没有那股勇气转回头去看，因为心脏和眼泪都会负荷不了。

今天算是回来的第六天。慢慢的，一切步法又要不停的重复。

最近真的很多人离开又或者即将离开马来西亚出国读书了。那天在教会，牧师就请了一个一直以来都很要好的朋友，姐妹，上台分享了这两年以来的感受，出国前的感言。听着听着，我竟然湿了眼眶，偷偷的掉了几滴眼泪。那天晚上，帮另外一个朋友办了一个饯行派对。玩得好疯好疯，主角本身也很乐在其中。后来散场过后，几个比较要好的又续摊往下一场。几个人坐着，细细的享受着蛋糕，分享一些童年趣事，一些年少无知。霎然间，觉得生命真的很美好。无论身在何处，神必有他最美好的旨意在我们里头。在生命的不同阶段，遇到的每一个人，每一件事情，都有他的祝福。珍惜当下应该是我们每一个人都应当要学习的。

时间真的过的很快很快。

接下来的三个星期，将会很忙很忙。功课，考试，帮Akira edit video，教会的Eca Tv.

但是最重要的是，三个星期后就又可以回家了！

愿神祝福每一个人，每一个事工。

忘记背后，努力现在，展望未来！

珍惜每一个感动！为主来发光！为主来奔跑！

现在是12点45分。

打华文真的好慢 -

wan an!

痛

2011-02-17T00:17:00.000+08:00

阔别十九天终究都回到了这个没有任何一个人想回来的地方？发生了不是很愉快的事。真的没有在怪任何人。只是眼泪很不听使唤的落下。竟然在巴士上哭个大花脸。谢谢 Grace 紧紧的抱住我。真的不是事情本身或是任何人的错。只是回到来心情都还没淡定下来的时候面对着或许真的只是一件很小的事情的时候却满满的足以让人想回家。

很不舍有多不舍就有多不舍。

*脚又开始发作很久都没有的痛。

五

2011-01-23T19:56:00.002+08:00

外头正在下着倾盆大雨。伴随的是吓人的闪电，恐怖的打雷声。每一次在宿舍遇上闪电打雷下大雨的时候，说实在的，我感到害怕，没有安全感。这种时候，是多么多么的渴望可以在家中，溺在家温暖的怀抱，家人慈祥的臂膀。

新年歌曲在不停的播放着，让我想回家的心情越是强烈。有这么一个词，归心似箭，不是吗？我想我真的深深的体会到了它的涵义。就在看了“天天好天”过后。

特别的戏是要跟特别的人一起看。就在一个很特别的午后，一群很特别的四个人，前往一个很特别的地方，坐在很特别的位子上看了这部很特别的戏。我，爱真小姐，Rachel 小姐，Aje 先生，去了Klang 的 Jusco，然后因为太多人所以坐在很前很前的第二排的位子，开始了这部很棒很棒的电影。特别吧！完完整整的充分的体现了一个马来西亚的精神！原来呢，电影字幕就是在这种时候发挥它的功效。

再一部很棒的本土电影！再一次的感动。更多的体会。通过镜头所捕捉到的细腻，一幕幕如此真实的体现，每一幕都是如斯的扣人心弦。真诚的演员，赤纯的演技，揪人的情节，洒脱的，骄傲的跨上大荧幕，制作班底的努力观众是有目共识的，告捷的票房是最美丽的呈现，是毋庸置疑的！

好吧，我哭点低。从电影开始的半个小时过后，就开始哭了，一直到电影结束。原来啊，把头抬高，眼泪还是会滑落的。阿公与孙女的戏份让我想起了我的公公。我真的很想念他。真的。一幕幕都那么的真实，那么轻易的牵动每一根心弦。一句再熟悉不过的词语，子欲养儿亲不在，再一次在戏中被提起，似乎在告诉人们，提醒人们这一个看似平凡却似那么难以达到的道理。不是能不能，而是要不要！只要你愿意，生命是可以拥有更多无止境的 +1。晴天雨天都有属于你的感动与快乐。晴天雨天天天都是好天！

另外一部不能错过的电影，笑着回家！再一部很棒的巨作。一部让你笑破肚皮的喜剧。间中带着丝丝的感动，回味无穷。跨国的合作，老实说，这部戏的素质多多少少当然会比天天好天来的好。呈现出新加坡与马来西亚的文化，社会现况，每一幕如此真实赤裸的体现在观众面起。重重笑点当中又不忘带出电影所要呈现的意义。

年年回家，今年笑着回家！有什么事情是比跟家人一起吃一顿团圆饭来的更重要呢？

最近，花了很多钱，买了很多年货，听了很多新年歌，看了很多戏，做了很多事，发现了许多事情，了解许多道理，体会了许多生活细节。人与人之间总存在着一层似有似无的隔阂。一个很小的群组里还存在着许许多多更小的群党。但到了最后，每个人还是每个人的朋友？敌人？都只是所谓的临时演员吧。有的时候，真心就真的在这些尔虞我诈的背后悄悄地被埋没了。

只有小孩，拥有不被污染的真心，单纯的童真，简单的快乐。只有在小孩子的面前，才会发现，可以那么真实的做自己，可以那么没有防备的卸下伪装的面具，回归似乎不见了许久的赤纯快乐。对啊，是在感叹，但是，世界就是这样。如果可以，永远都不要长大该有多好！

最近，爱上了辣。生活太过单调了以至需要一些辣来调剂吗？

还有五天就能回到家了。五天！一月二十八号。星期五。
倒数中。

2011-01-16T19:48:00.001+08:00

原来失望是这种感受。言语行为思想交流所有都是枉然。

事与愿违？

just the way you are

2011-01-15T15:33:00.001+08:00

...and that's why i love chinese new year. two weeks to home!

*photographs: some random shots at pavilion.

1/11/11

2011-01-11T23:35:00.000+08:00

is nonetheless another blessed day. Good Lord.

It was fun taking the class photographs. Uh I'm looking forward to see the real photographs. A little bit of expensive though. But yah, memory is what matters.

Some photographs of the day, taken in the class. With How Soon's very cool mobile phone's camera. Awesome stuff!

The class sorta ended already, fyi. :)

LIKE this! :)

Dinner with a bunch of brothers in Christ somewhere at Shah Alam. Played pool after that. It had been treating me, just fair? First round was good, but I would not say that for the second round. Nice fellowship though. Praise the Lord.

Cherish the last moments of 1/11/11... with sleep. Yah, sleep tight! Good night. God bless you!

frailty

2011-01-10T21:50:00.001+08:00

It all happens because the 8am class was canceled. What more, the news arrived when we had already boarded on the Intec bus. The fun thing was seeing people running, rushing for class whilst we're taking our very sweet time strolling extraordinarily slowly to ALM Cafe and killing the half an hour there until the library opened.

And it was a sudden thought flashing in my mind. I think I'm going to miss Intec after I really leave this place some day in the future.

I'm feeling like fever. Ah please no. God, please bless me with Your will, whatever it may be. Amen.

I shall sleep.

week 1

2011-01-09T23:27:00.001+08:00

Week 1 of the brand new year. Week 1 of the brand new semester.

Exactly 7 days since I'm back to Shah Alam from my beloved Sibu. And you know what, I couldn't believe myself missing home so badly, almost everyday. I actually cried for five times for the reason, especially in the midnight, out of the period of seven days, which actually means five days out of the seven days. And the craziest thing I had done, I actually went online checking for cheap flight to Sibu, just so if there's any. You see how bad the homesickness was. Of course, I didn't manage to go home- the tickets were so friggin' expensive!

The very first week wasn't really that bad, despite the really serious homesickness. But it just didn't feel like Spring, which means to be hectic and busy. Perhaps it's just the first week. Weather had been treating me well. And I really hope it remains as it's now for the next few months. I'm just loving this awesome weather!

Spring semester. I'm currently taking six subjects. They'd be Chemistry, Experimental Chemistry, Cell Biology, Technical Writing, Ethics (as usual), and another very interesting special subject, which again is meant for the only nine Agriculture Science-based us, Statistical Theory for Economics. Special huh? Another thing is, I'll be studying about law, you know, law as in the Federal Constitution for the Ethics this time around. I've no idea of why, so don't ask me why. Classes had been uh, so far so good?

Spring '11.

And you know what. We, most of us received warning letter from the hostel staff for not doing clearance for the previous semester. Crap. And I'm admiring our skills of composing something which basically is not the fact. But I really didn't see the point. I mean, we actually did clearance, it's just that we didn't return the key to the office. But yah. There it goes.

Compose.

The other day we went to Sunway Pyramid. A sudden random decision and that's all. The funny thing was, you know, we're running after train. Literally. We were miles away when the train was reaching. We ran, and ran, and ran like never before. That was so FUNNY. I'm smiling now when I recalled it. Yah, so we ran and thank God that we managed to get in the train eventually. I guess we're going to kill ourselves if we couldn't catch the train, in the fact that we ran like crazily exaggeratively hard. And here's another very funny account. Our beloved Ivy had been so direction-less to not know how to differentiate the head and the tail of the train. When Yeh Tung was saying to get in the compartment at the head of the train, she went running all the way to the very very last compartment, which is the compartment at the tail of the train. Uh huh, she has had very good stamina!

I had great time, despite all odds. HAHA. The red apple of Ivy, the green apple of mine, and the raw vege of Yeh Tung! Had a great time dining and photo-shooting at Pasta Zanmai.

Pasta Zanmai. :)

And then, we intruded into Angelina's room blasting her during her big day. Successful blast! Happy 20th. May the year and decade ahead be joyous, prosperous. Experience God's grace abundantly and may the mighty Lord bless you richly in every aspects of your life! God loves you. I love you. :D

Thank you for making it a success.

God is good. Meeting church brothers and sisters after a hiatus of two months felt great. Freedom to commit, power to transform! Praise, worship, is all to the Lord.

And today, I was frustrated by my long fringe and out of random I took scissors and cut the fringe a little bit. Myself. Whoa. I just cut like that. Now I'm suddenly fretting what if I cut it not nice. Anyway, thank God that my skill was still okay. At least it's not too bad, and the most important thing is the fringe doesn't feel frustrating anymore. :)

Many people actually said that my blog is too wordy. Uh huh, so perhaps new year's resolution on this blog would be inserting more pictures in between the words. If I'm not lazy.

And so, week 1 was gone.

Three more weeks to Chinese New Year.

I'm so looking forward to going back Sibu!

back-to-back

2011-01-03T15:53:00.001+08:00

It's time to try defying gravity.
But it really doesn't work.

Back in Shah Alam, reluctantly. No one would have come back willingly I guess. I'm so unprepared. Yet class is going to start very soon. You know, that kind of familiarity which is yet strange. I think I'm still not adaptive enough.

The later half of the year-end-break, like I mentioned in the previous post, I had been working as a promoter. And that was such a great experience, or I would rather say, memory. You know, working in supermarket is but a way to meet a lot, I mean, a lot of people. I had met so many friends and a lot of my high school's and primary school's teachers. And that we got to catch up a little bit, and that's great! I wouldn't have the time and chance to really catch up with so many people in only a few days. Another thing is all those new friends I had come to know. Those other products' promoters. I really had great time. And now I start to miss them already.

The youngest ones, three of us. :)

The most wonderful time of the year, Christmas was but time to rejoice, time to give thanks, time to celebrate, time to learn the truest meaning of the Christmas day. The very thick and deep atmosphere of this lovely festival was indeed without doubt, implanted in the very blessed town, the very lovely and pretty hometown of mine. And you see, that's why I wanted to spend my Christmas back home.

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. -Luke 2:11.

Joy to the world.

With Ms. Wong's birthday celebration of much love and joy, and the complement of the romantic venue- Baba and Siam, I was indulged. The romantic, cozy, late afternoon, and it's as if we're back to our high school time, chattering, babbling away in a so familiar tone and pitch, and that's very awesome. Love can be very simple, when you're feeling it with heart, sincerely.

Happy Birthday. <3

Church's youth camp had really made me reminisced my very own youthful days. And I smile. Lord has my teenage years great. Yes, reminiscent is beautiful, memory is great. Time flies, but life goes on. No? Yet it's kind of uh, pathetic to realize that I'm stepping into 20 years old.

And with that, 2010 ended. To sum it up, 2010 was good and bad. But I thank God for every paths He leads me on. I thank God for His abundant blessings throughout the year. I won't say it was an easy year, there were times when things just went wrong and I got really pissed. But with Lord's guidance, every step I had taken went on with intensive peace, joy, and hope. I love you, Jesus.

Bye 2010. Hello 2011.

Faith. Hope. Love.

And it really does work.

Salvatore

2010-12-23T23:53:00.000+08:00

You know, that kind of cognition which lies beneath details of life can be amazing. That kind of beautiful cognition comes to the surface gracefully when you see it sincerely, you wouldn't even need to peel it off purposely. Here's how the cognition came to my mind. It just happened and I was certainly moved and stunned by how little details my mum bears, how she nurtures her kids with consideration of every bits of love, even when the kids have literally grow up, I mean, even when the kids are not more really little. But, in a mum's eyes, kid is always that little baby who she's not going to let go forever.

My sister has always had a very serious allergy on seafood. So my mum would never add any seafood, for an instance, prawn into the dishes. Or sometime, there would be two version of dishes, one with the seafood and the another not. Somehow, routinely, virtually it had become an unspoken tradition. Somewhat, we, or basically, I had so gotten used to it that I barely remembered how the tradition was actually originated. And here it goes. My sister went to Kuching and it was the winter solstice day. And my mum was preparing for the dishes. She uttered something sounded like, "add the prawn into the mihun." And I was like, "err.." for seconds trying to figure out what's wrong. And the next second my mum said, "ah non(my sister) is not at home." You see it? She remembered every little things of us. And she doesn't really 'remembered', but is remembering every now and then. Thank you. <3

I attended a marriage dinner the other day. People really change with the growing of age, externally and most importantly, internally. The way you think, the way you view things. I used to get excited attending marriage functions when I am younger. You know, that kind of child-fun, eating, looking at the beautiful bride and groom, wearing pretty dresses, playing around with the almost-same-age-cousins. As the age grows, I still love that kind of warmth and joy attending the same kind of function, but it always comes along with very different kind of perspective and realization. Frequently I am moved when they're giving pieces of words to their parents, when they're simply hugging each other, hugging their parents, or when they're kissing each other. Every time I feel touched in a way or another and always, feel hard to hold back the falling tear.

I am working as a promoter now. It ain't an easy job, really. Saying the same whole thing repeatedly for the (literally) entire day ain't as simple. But, dealing with different type of people throughout the day could be interesting. Yah. I am going to update about the working experience soon. 'til then, see ya. :)

One more day to Christmas!

Yee-huh. I've no idea of the title, by the way. But yah, I'm hooked on The Vampires' Diaries very very badly. Ah, it's always ADDICTIVE.

Good night!

爱。喜乐。生命

2010-12-18T00:12:00.001+08:00

忆跌入深深的隧。

回到诗巫在戏院观看的第一步电影竟是一部本土并新加坡演员加持制作的片子，Lelio popo. 一直以来都觉得本地的电影很真诚，很赤纯，带着深深的感动。果然，不负众望，至少，不负我望，它再一次为本地电影画下新的乐章。重重的笑点当中，还不忘反映现今的生活，带出看似简易但却深沉的教导。原以为的笑片却让我带着哭肿的双眼离开戏院。

很谢谢当天随行的Akira, Andrew, Lawrence. 连日接踵的挑战真的让我有种莫名的喘不过气。当天的出游，无论如何，真的多少舒缓了紧绷的情绪。细细品茗着诗巫的风情，再一次的感受她的美，她那熟悉的味道，她的宁静，她的优雅。任凭夕阳的晚风吹打在脸上，毛孔呼吸到的不是如外地的沙土尘埃，而是那风中的自然芬芳。诗巫真的很美！

随着公公的逝世，似乎回到乡下陪伴婆婆的次数无形中增加了许多。似乎大家都意识到了子欲养而亲不在的意境。霎时，我好想念他。自有意识以来，第一次面对了至亲的死亡。或许，死亡并不是那么的可怕，离别才是难耐的一环。想起婆婆抓着我的手哭着说，mimi, 以后没有公公了。啊！为何离别是如此的残酷，如此的不解风情！

一件又一件的事情，似乎无声无息的掀起了那个从未有的自己。学着面对，学着接受，学着相信。也因为某一些说不上的原因，似乎感觉到自己那股蠢蠢欲动的叛逆和某些成份的噪郁感于某些不想做的事情上。那是很自私的想法。总会有一个意识说让我好好享受家人的宠爱，家乡的熏陶，请不要叫我做一些我真的不想在这个时间，这个地方做的事情。潜意识真的似乎就会将那些不想视而不理。就让我偶尔的叛逆一下，好吗。

而原来，好朋友是就算许久未见面都还可以很坦然很自然毫无寂静毫不尴尬的谈天说地，毫无避忌毫无形象，不理会路人异样目光的大声嚷嚷，大声的自然的属于我们的豪迈大笑。不避讳的如疯颠般三个人一起挤入同一间试衣间，说一些属于我们之间的笑话，以逛街为名义的同时间，却根本无暇于挑选物品；在美食当前的同时间，却也无暇于真正的品茗；乃是争取着每一分钟滔滔的诉说那无止尽的故事，秘密。

爱。喜乐。生命

生命有你们真好

最近一直听到一首很好听的歌曲，特别喜欢歌曲中的某一段旋律。“春风不解风情，吹动少年的心”，每每听到这一段歌词和旋律时，就会有一阵奇异的暖流在心底划过。

感觉无需任何奢侈多余的点缀。

静静聆听。静静享受。静静感受。

cuties

2010-12-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

Lester

Liana

Lilian

They are cute. Very cute. <3

instantaneous

2010-12-07T00:11:00.001+08:00

This holidays. Things happened one after another. In an unexpected rate. Unexpected as in the fate of unacceptable. They were acceptable but a little bit more of time would really ease the stun. This holidays. I experienced one after another. With acceptance and belief. Acceptance of God's timing. Belief of God has His best plan in every accounts.

Cognition. At this age, I thought I have come to learn many knowledge and experiences. But in fact, there are so much more to explore and I am actually so minute in the whole wide world. It is just as if I am only the little dot which can hardly be seen even under a lens of high magnification power.

So many first times in the entire life experienced and to be experienced. The first time to witness a person breathing the last mouthfuls of air until the body finally ceased to gasp for air. Right under my eyes. Life could be so fragile. Death. Funeral. The first time I saw everyone shedding so much tears off. Inevitable sadness.

The first time I had spent so much time in hospital. Frankly, I used to have a not-so-good-feeling on hospital. I mean, it usually exhibits a sense of melancholy because it deals mostly with sickness. And I could really do nothing but express a deep sigh for the governmental hospital's service. It is life, you know, life? Yet they could just handle with it so briefly, carelessly. I really doubted the profession of doctor? And nurse? Not all of them, but most of them.

The first time taking boat from Sibu to Kuching, alone. Thank Rachel for the hosting. The first time taking Toefl (wouldn't want to have a second time though). The friggin' freakin' four hours. The one week at the west was spent shopping and watching movies like crazily. Spent so much that I'm somehow broke now. And the few movies. Harry Potter was as always, good. Rapunzel was sweet, lovely. The Next Three Days was cool and awesome! Anyways, thank Summer for the hosting for the week. Thank God for the safe journey. And of the utmost, got to go back to Eca for church services. Great.

The first time I knew Airasia sucks to its very core. Ahh. The friggin' 40 bucks. The specific counters for the luggage-problems were full with people. Which actually means it was going to earn so much extra bucks! Wow, the bloody money sucker.

And there it goes. Yesterday we were again bombarded by another tragic news. A relative's family was involved in an accident. Not a really close relative, I mean, kind of uh, far-related ones, but still, know them well and have met each other many times. The father was dead on the spot. The mother and the son are bruised and injured severely. And the other three daughters are injured a little bit. And you know what, they didn't do wrong or any sort of careless driving. There was this drunken man who caused the tragedy. They had seen this car moving unstably from the other direction and so they pulled to a side and stopped so as to prevent from knocking with the car. But the car hit on them. How cruel is the fact! Lord, please heal them. Physically, mentally. Lord, bless them with stable health and mental condition. Everything will be fine.

With all things happened continuously, I had somehow neglected my application-essays. And the earliest deadline will be 15th December, which is soon and very soon. And I'm just halfway through the first essay. Oh, there are two essays required for that particular university. Uh huh. I'm gonna make it happen. Lord, bless me with abundant inspirations to present a special essay. Bless me with a very smooth application process. Amen.

After all, I'm once again reminded of the significance of family to me, myself, and I. I love them, each and every one of them. I want to really cherish every moment at home. Because I know too well how unwilling I'll be when I need to leave home.

Life is a very beautiful lullaby.
With all kinds of expressions it may present.

Worthy is the lullaby. Worthy is the life.

RIP

2010-11-24T17:32:00.000+08:00

Too many things happened.

Grievousness. Which was inevitable. In the end, it's still the family bond that could have made the tear rolled. It's not more the matter of how tough you might be. Too many tears. Too many cries.

God has His best plan. Always. Things happen out of a reason or more.

Rest in peace. We love you.

19.

2010-11-15T16:57:00.000+08:00

And so I'm officially 19 years old.

Thank god. Thank everyone. I'm blessed.

And a bit update of life. Holidays is fantastic. Home is great! I'm babysitting three little six-months-old babies recently. Baby is adorable.

University application under progress. Toefl is coming soon. But I couldn't find my toefl practice test cd. Sob.

And that's all for now. Catch up later.

sibu soon

2010-11-10T05:08:00.000+08:00

I am still staying up at this moment, 4:51am. Staying the whole night up in the airport is really not a very pleasant thing to do. An experience, perhaps. Thank to a thing named movie which made the night young.

Alright, holidays had been very great. The past few days were so of amazing. As if I went through some sort of amazing race. Holidays seemed to be even hectic, that's why, the amazement. But well, days had been very meaningful doing meaningful things, spending with splendid people. And you didn't feel the pain when you're doing with love.

Started off with the MPM Course (Market Place Ministry). And then the farewell party for Benny and Sing Yii. The church services. The Sunday school ministry. You know, kids are so adorable. The Subang-stay. The Petaling Jaya-stay. The movie, Megamind with few church brothers and sister. The craps with the few close friends in hostel. The application thingy with them. Yes, I'm going to miss each and every one.

And, the lone ranger-journey. All alone.

God has His way. Met with a person who is originated from Vietnam and has his studies at Australia and who is waiting for his transit at the airport. He borrowed the adapter of my laptop's charger, as his was not compatible with the plug of the power source. Okay, truly, I was fretting a little bit. Because you know, the society today is so unreliable, the people are unbelievable. At least, I really do have this kind of perception.

Guess God wants me to learn about trustworthiness. And the faith in Him.

So, had some kind of interaction with this person called Van. But basically, at most of the time, he was sleeping. And I was staying the whole night up to keep my eyes on our stuffs and to catch up with my movies. Hah, I finished up two movies which both last for two hours.

Sibu 0705hrs. Got to check-in soon. Sibu, I'll see you soon!

Happy holidays, everyone!

h.o.l.i.d.a.y.s.

2010-11-04T10:46:00.000+08:00

Finals was done!

Everything was good except Chemistry. Why must it be so cruel to me. And everyone else.

I thought I wouldn't want to mention about the tests, but yea, Chemistry was still so frustrating.

Alright. Fall 2010 was done. It was like, what? Time really flew, didn't it?

Coming up, holidays!! And I mean, HOLIDAYS! Wheee!

Phil 4:13

2010-10-31T19:36:00.000+08:00

God is faithful.

Do not easily skip the time for Him, for you never know how He is going to bless you. Things are going to be how they should be, with His will reigning. How much worries or attempts wouldn't change the fact, if that's really His will.

Serving in Sunday school was indeed very tiring, but again and again, was reminded of the child-pure-heart. And His blessing never ceases, rather it's uncountable. In anyway, God never fails to bless, never fails to love.

And nothing is impossible, it is only the matter of whether you want, whether you are willing. Because the faith you have in Him can even move a mountain, what more to say the little mere stuff of yours.

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength! -Philippians 4:13.

All the best for finals! May the Lord bless you richly, may His grace be upon you!

poison

2010-10-28T00:28:00.001+08:00

It felt like ages. Because, it felt like too many things at one shot.

Had been suffered from some sort of food poisoning two days ago. All sorts of vomiting and diarrhea. I was partially, on the verge of dying. Seriously, this is not bluffing. It was like what, every interval of one hour, I woke up and vomited. Had nothing else to vomit towards the end and what had been vomited was the sour acidic fluid in the body. And even a little bit of water I took was vomited too.

Anyway, after seeking for doctor, taking medicine and sleeping for the whole day long, I did get better. At least, no more vomiting, or diarrhea. Thank God! Thank Rachel for accompanying me to the doctor. Thank Angelina for the Bovril. Thank everyone for the concern. I'm much more better. The only consequence is the ache of the trachea and muscles, of vomiting too hard? Guess so. And I am so going to think twice or more the scarce-next-time I may go to eat at Pak Li.

And sorry, mum for letting you worry, again. But I could do nothing better other than calling her at the first instant, crying like a baby in the phone, and asking what to do for the next moment. I did really feel bad when my mum and dad called for many many times when I was sleeping like dead and that I didn't answer their calls and that they were so worried, thinking what had happened to me. Sorry. And thank you for the love! I have the best mummy in the world, and daddy as well!

You know, the world is full with love. Love is all around. Love can be so amazing. Love can be very simple. Love can be a little bit of sophisticated. Love can be some kind of aching. Love can be wonderful. Love can be, beautiful! We had a certain sort of "pillow talk" the other day. It was a very heart-to-heart one, and I was touched, again and again. Go for it, if that's really God's willing and timing. He knows exactly what and when, and where is the best for you.

Yee Voan's birthday. Happy Birthday again! Hope you did have a blast, although we were kind of failed to blast you off. Had a good time dining and interacting with you guys. And I just learnt that, they all cook so well. Wow!

And finals is just around the corner. And all the assignments and reports due. Ah yesh, we are going to pull through this! All the best people!

Alright, and this is specially to Lawrence, as what Jerald suggested me to do. Time heals many things and what it cannot heal it at least makes clearer. Pray fervently and leave the rest to God! Cheers!

menstruating

2010-10-22T14:15:00.000+08:00

Hello world.

Friday. Always a-don't-feel-doing-things-day. Didn't expect to stay in Intec at a Friday's evening. But thing just goes on that way. Got to stay for a talk later.

Food. You see. In the period of two weeks, or three weeks, had two times of buffet, and two times of Domino's party. Buffet: Midori and Jogoya. Midori is a new restaurant in Fahrenheit88. And Jogoya, a restaurant in Star Hill. Man, I was excited with the seafoods! You know, SEAFOOD! The best word to describe and to round the whole thing up, succulent! Believe me, you won't regret to have such certain time of luxurious meal once in a blue moon. And had different kind of wine in Jogoya. And cocktail. They were, yes, great! And I still prefer red wine than white wine.

And domino's, one for Akira's and San Xiu's birthday splash, and the other for the Finite Maths' class-mini-party, with our beloved lecturer.

The other day, we had a karaoke-spree. It's like ages, man. Scheduled to go for Neway, and you see, schedule is just meant to be broken. Neway was fully booked, and so it ended up to be RedBox, of Low Yat.

Oh did I mention there's a new restaurant opening at Section 18? Ayam Penyet, the replacement for the Chicken Rice Shop. Tried it with Rachel and Marie the other day. Not bad. But why couldn't it be a chinese-food-restaurant.

It seems I had too much enjoyments, during this period of pre-finals. No, I ain't that free. On the verge of finishing each and every assignments, and literally preparing for the finals, days are kind of packed. Yes. At least I'm only having an average of 7-8 hours of sleep, plus a couple days of nap. But it seems to have become a habitual routine, which is actually good.

I'm currently reading on The Front, by Patricia Cornwell. The storyline is getting excited, thrilled. And am recently watching Down to Love, a Taiwanese drama. The last episode left. Got to settle it soon. And am currently listening to David Archuleta's, and Planetshakers. Oh, Lollipop had just released a new song. Hee.

Tell you what, life is really unpredictable, like the weather does. It feels like raining. Finally, the weather somehow starts to get back to the normal temperature. Thank God. And life? Many things are happening everyday. Yes, you really never know what will happen the next moment.

There's a term as PMS, PreMenstrual Syndrome. And you really feel it. At least I did. You will be easily distracted, you get angry easily, you get emo, your tears get to roll down easily, you get to laugh easily, too. Girls you know exactly what I'm saying.

The other day, at an instant, I miss home so much. It all happens in a sudden, when I was talking to my mum in phone. Listening to her telling things happened at home, I just couldn't resist and cried. And yea, it's proven to be true, it's pms, which had resulted that.

And you'll ask, how it's proven. Alright, it just got to be proven with the happening of menstruation. Happening, eh?

Used to dislike it. But what. The fact is there, none others but to accept it.

Had been a bit lengthy. So that's all.

Catch up later.

rash

2010-10-18T23:14:00.000+08:00

Several things.

First, had a lot of fun video shooting for the Eca Tv. Although not as fluent as expected, because we face some complication of the shooting site, everything was done successfully in the end. Thank God! Thank the hosts Foong and Josh. Thank Excel, Hui Zi, San, Danny, and Qi Yi. Be excited for next month's Eca Tv!

See how things make up a big picture. Like Foong said, everyone with different talents make up the big picture, make up the church.

And you know what, we had been scolded by the PPP, like what, AGAIN?! Sighhhhh I'm so speechless. The scarce freedom, you see, even the one of speech volume. Like, we weren't even making that much rowdiness. And now we really get to take it serious, for he said, that was the last warning. Man, we're talking like really soft now, whenever we're in the compound of the hostel.

And the weather is really effing hot! Seriously, what's up with the temperature?

Things are gonna get better -David Archuleta. A very nice song from his new released album. Go get it.

the season

2010-10-15T14:09:00.001+08:00

You know what, female is very unpredictable. Yea. Very. She can laugh like mad at a moment, and cry like dumb at the next moment, or angry like heap at the another instant. You see, the intense swing of mood. That's why, the unpredictability.

Sometime, you just couldn't blame her. She is just a little bit more sensitive. She is just a little bit more emotional. She is just a little bit more moody. She is just a little bit more observant. She is just a little bit more alert of the surrounding. She is just a little bit of mean. That is a girl, eh?

Uh. It's just a thought. Or rather, an inference made observing the girls around and of course the experience of own-self. She loves the rowdy maze, but sometime she wants a little bit of personal time. Just a bit. And she'll be good. She loves God. She loves him. She loves friends. She loves family. You know, girl is very lovely.

Nah. As if. If you really know her well.

Alright, am going to sit for Finite Mathematics Test 2 soon, half an hour to go. Guess what, I forgot to bring my textbook. That's it, got nothing to study and this post appears. All the best for the test!

Imma be good. Ah, go away, mean-ness.

And oh, the season, the ending period of the semester is here. All the assignments and the finals. Okay, be optimistic! Holidays soon.

the < plus 3

2010-10-12T19:39:00.000+08:00

He likes her. She likes him. Guy can be very sentimental too. I thought he isn't one, but the love says it otherwise. Love can be so beautiful, lovely. I'm touched, with the tone, with the expression. Yes, you know it only after you experience it.

Trust in God's will, wait for His timing. Because He knows what, when, where, who is the best for you. Indeed, await for none others but the best plan from Him. Because He reigns. And things are going to be alright and fine when you surrender, when you trust whole-heartedly in Him. Our God is a faithful God. Praise Him!

Friends are angels of God. You can't deny it. Life wouldn't be what it is without these angels around.

The weather is undergoing some kind of mutation, I suppose. It is very hot, if you know what I mean. Very hot. The sun is radiating too much heat, that even the wind is hiding itself. The dry heat is very unbearable. What more, studying Chemistry under the unfavorable temperature. It could be so fussy, I just knew it. There was this thought popping all in a sudden. Can I have an air-cond? Ah, it's just a thought.

The University thingy. The really final ones, Wisconsin, Purdue, Michigan, and Iowa. Lord, I'm passing all to You. Your will be done and I trust in You. Because Lord, You have the best for me. Hallelujah. And I really thank seniors for helping out a lot. Thanks for the time spent giving all the precious reviews and suggestions. They helped a lot.

You know, I miss her a lot. I miss them a lot. The one and the only, Boston Spring 2010. It's good to hear all the good news from them though. All the best, alright? We shall see each other some day. Yea.

Miss ya, Belle.

This was what we had been doing during the Biology class.

Mine and Jazzie.

Love can be very simple. At times, it can be very complex.

Appreciate it. Nourish it. Somehow, it's just a process of life.

You experience it and you know it. Cheers, friend!

10.10.10

2010-10-10T20:04:00.000+08:00

is nevertheless, an usual day. Nothing too special.

A lot of fun crapping with the little, but ain't that little actually, none others than Joseph. He's lame. But adorable. Really laughed a lot at all those jokes, and had so much fun seeing him disappointed when he couldn't get the jokes. First time I knew cheeks would get painful when we laughed too much? LOL.

Church is always, you know, warm and welcoming. And God is always good. Got to actually see and know how things actually function. We faced some technical problems today, and it's just so happened that I was serving at the Skype to witness the whole process. God is faithful that indeed nothing could have actually ceased people from worshiping Him. Holy Spirit was there, the atmosphere was built high up despite of the absence of lcd-lyrics and the lighting effect. Praise The Lord!

You alone are God of all

You alone are worthy Lord

And with all I am

My soul will bless Your name.

A comb. The combing side and the other side of flat surface. Lord said, if you're willing, I'll lead your life through all those obstacles and bring you to the flattened smooth path. If you believe, if you are willing. Let His power and ability be with you. Because in men it may seem impossible, but in God everything is possible!

Toefl. University. Everything's going to be alright! =)

God is good

2010-10-08T00:42:00.000+08:00

all the time! And all the time, God is good!

Praise The Lord. =)

dealt

2010-10-06T13:38:00.000+08:00

Dealt. A lot of it. I don't want to forfeit any more tickets!

I don't care being a bad student, I want home. I want the Chinese New Year at home, and I mean HOME.

Good, but they said better. Say, best?

*还是认为你最特别却不再挽回会心碎的拥抱适合浅尝不适合深深的沉醉

思

2010-10-03T18:20:00.000+08:00

Looking back, the previous post was a bit harsh. Oops.

Everything was over now. So, hopefully no more those kind of ferocious feeling around.

Two weeks of preparation, two weeks of sleep-depriving, two weeks of happy and unhappy accounts, two weeks of hard work, finally paid off. The exhibition was a great success! Bygone is bygone. Let the past be the past, and the bruise be healed soon. And thank all who came for it! Your presence were really appreciated! A big thank to all the committee members as well. Thank to our caring and thoughtful lecturer!

UKM Biology Field Trip was exhausting, but fun! Had a great time jungle trekking, feasting, and visiting. Had a great time shooting, with a Canon EOS DSLR. Thank you Aje! And now I think I prefer Nikon more for a DSLR-camera. Canon's functioning is actually not as much. For a digital camera, yesh, I still love Canon!

I had been sleeping a lot, as a revenge for those lost-sleep. But I'm still sleepy now. You see, how much sleep I had been depriving! And you know, sometime, life can be so screw-ful, sleep actually soothed and eased the frustration.

突然很想要写华文。

这些天，眼泪特别泛滥。眼泪在落下的同时间，那种本能的自我保护意识无形中愈变愈强。那种时而的戳痛感还是无法避免。知道吗，看着你，眼眶竟然就红了。

生活就是有太多的是非。群体活动无法避免的总会有些摩擦。人就是这么奇怪的生物。谁又多做了什么，谁又少做了什么，真的就这么重要吗。所以说啊，生气的时候，心情不好的时候，还是不要说话。因为你不知道你会说出什么，因为你不知道你所说的话有可能就刺伤了某些幼小心灵。

与其说沉默带来尴尬，不如说它让两颗那么遥远又那么亲近的心带来一些安慰。因为，有时候真的没有必要再说一些什么。因为你也不知道要说一些什么。因为你也知道再多说一些什么也改变不了什么。因为你更清楚知道沉默才是最好的良药。

有的时候，生活不要太过的执著。因为最后受伤的是自己。知道自己努力过久够了，至少往后回头望时，还能很骄傲的对自己说，我曾经也努力过了，结果如何也不再这么重要了。

终于把PS男给看完了。整个就是很感动！差一点就要把整盒的纸巾用完。不知道啊，它就给了很深很深的感触。也可能是在深夜时候看的，所以眼泪才会特别的多吧。最后还是完美的结局，男主角和女主角就快乐的在一起了。偶像剧真的太美化真实生活。现实生活为什么就不能拥有王子与公主的童话故事呢。

生活呢，功课考试接踵而来。大学申请，已经有了大致的概念。最后的决定是 Maryland, Iowa, Penn State, Purdue. 希望是对的选择吧。

这一篇感觉有点不协调。英文掺华文。

知道吗，原来想念真的是会呼吸的痛。

Missing.is.a.pain.of.breathing.

7448

2010-10-01T00:45:00.002+08:00

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL, S.H.I.T.?

YOU ARE A SHIT! S.H.I.T. S.H.I.T S.H.I.T. S.H.I.T S.H.I.T.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

YOU ARE SHIT! DAMN BLOODY FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!

I HOPE YOU ARE SNEEZING NOW! SNEEZE UNTIL YOU CHOKE! EWWWWWW!

PLEASE DON'T BE SO SHIT! YOU ARE NOT MIGHTY, BUT YOU ARE A FREAKING COWARD!!! YOU LOSER!!!!!

S.H.I.T. 7.4.4.8.

bug

2010-09-27T10:58:00.002+08:00

This Fall is CRAZY! Damn Ethics! I didn't even sleep so late during Spring! Yes, sleep is a very crucial, very big portion of my life. The length of sleeping very straightly and directly affects the mood of the day! Don't mess with me when I had slept for like so little fucking hours!

Sucks! Not of the project itself, but of the certain beings, or the being! You suck!! You SUCK!! And I never knew I could dislike a person like so much, until at a point of exaggeratively freaking bad.

And I guess I'm having a very serious Pre-Menstrual-Syndrome now!

And this week is going to be a terribly sickeningly freakin' week!

Life is a shit at this moment!

(u)

2010-09-26T01:31:00.001+08:00

No, the bulgy wasn't due to the depriving of sleep. But of crying. For like an hour? And the blanket and pillow were wet. Miss you(s), who are so near yet so far. The unfamiliarity. You know, I'm actually jealous.

Busy. At least, something to deal in getting rid of the thought. Not really tired physically, but emotionally. You know, the heart is really painful that I thought I need pain killer to avoid the abrupt malfunction. And it's as though, bleeding.

Pretended to be very busy, pretended to be very unconcern, pretended to cheat own self. Tears said it otherwise.

I love you(s) still. Days of this kind are killing. As though the self had vanished.

(u) actually means, the broken heart icon.

3am

2010-09-24T03:34:00.002+08:00

Bathing at this moment isn't a good thing. *Cannot let mummy know about this!*

It feels refreshing though. The feel of cleanliness. Alright, not that I didn't want to bath earlier, days had been very hectic at this point. And it will progress until I guess, the end of next week. Goodness, I'm going crazy soon! Of sleep-depriving!

ETHICS. This is what everyone of us is mad with. The exhibition. Okay, so let's promote a bit on it. Yes, the exhibition entitled "A Venture Into The Ancient Egypt". I hope I didn't get it wrong. Held by the Ethics' students of Alabama and Arkansas. Date, 1st October 2010, Friday. Venue, the Old Library, Intec. People, be there! To witness the legend, to amaze in the Egyptian kingdom, to chew the sincere of us, to wow of the every single hard-works! Or, at least, to bow a support for us. We need your supports!

So, I'm in the compartment of Science and Technology. So, all sorts of preparations explain the busyness. Indeed, we're competing with time now. Like, we are making the greatest good use of every single minute, or even second!

Alright, a very short catch up. Shall sleep, and go for Ethics class later on. Ah, Ethics! Ah, Egypt!

独

2010-09-23T02:15:00.000+08:00

眼泪很不争气的直流。

机上，小孩放声的大哭。
反而不觉得喧闹。
霎时，羡慕他们，想哭就哭。

行李都还存有家的味道。

突然，人事物都变得很陌生。
原来，寂寞是一个人的事。

hue

2010-09-20T12:25:00.002+08:00

Had been staying in Sibu for two weeks and more. You see, how time flew! An intention, or desire to reminisce and type down every single things happened during the past two weeks, for there were indeed, too many wonderful, splendid accounts which shall be etched.

It started off with the spree in One Utama. Cindy and I went all the way from Shah Alam to KL Sentral, while Olivia on her bus traveling all the way down from Ipoh. Thank Olivia for the (repeated) delays of her bus, Cindy and I nearly rot at KL Sentral, Burger King. We had been talking and talking and talking until at one point, we were really exhausted and sleepy. And Olivia still hadn't arrived. Alright, skip the details. By any means, we made our way to One U at the end. And the journey searching for a toy named Gigo began. Had been searching high and low, but sad to say, the mission failed, and a conclusion was made: One U is very BIG.

After that, Fen Fen came and joined us. Her place is just a walking distance from One U. With her recommendation, we had our dinner at Canton-i. Good dinner. Nice food, nice drink, nice place, nice people. Photographs! Lazy to upload them here, so there's the link. After the dinner, we shall be heading back to hostel. Note the word shall be. The plan shuddered and ended up with randomness. We love to be random, don't we? We ended up in the cinema, watching Step Up 3D. It was awesome! Yesh, awesomeness! And lovely, at the same time. Love it!! So, when the movie ended, the curfew had passed as well. We ended up overnight at Fen Fen's place. Thank you, Fen Fen!

The next day, went back to Akasia. Packed, and headed to airport! Took cab, with the occupants spelled Olivia, Polycarp, Kelvin, and I. The uncle was very talkative. Huh. Coincidentally, many friends were taking the same flight. And a friend sitting next to me on the plane. Cool. Had been talking a lot with Jacky, and made it the first time I didn't sleep so much in the plane. Otherwise, sleeping will be the best thing to do in plane, at least for me, it is.

Landed in Sibu, and the splendid days went on. Alright, I'm lazy to list all the details out, so, let's go with some significances.

So, because of some random sayings and comments in Facebook, and a mighty trip was produced. LOL. Rachel came to Sibu! Touring around Sibu was fun! She stayed at my house, nah, we had been sleeping together for two nights! *To whom it may concern: Angelina, Andrew, Siau Ting!* HAHAHA. Thank Rachel for coming, despite all odds (I know, the bus journey wasn't an easy job!). Thank Angelina! Thank Siau Ting! Thank Andrew! So, here goes the link of photographs. And another album of photographs. Let's the pictures speak!

Went back to high school for the Dossier thingy. Had been working on it, like, finally, I'm working on it - all sorts of translations, recommendation letters, certifying stuff. And going back to the place which I used to be in for the past few years, the place with tons of memory instilled, gave a feel of warmth. Everything feels the same way as it used to be. Indeed, high school is a part of life, a very significant part, the teenage-years which mean a lot!

Went for movie Piranha with Ms. Wong and Olivia. Oh my God! The movie was crazy! Yea, people with heart attack shouldn't go for it, really. Well, the movie was censored like really much, making it with the duration of an hour and a half, only. And you know what I told Olivia after the movie? I don't want to go to sea anymore! HAHA. So you see the impact of the movie. Anyway, the storyline was kind of cliche, but I do really love the way they produced the effects of the movie, be it the audio effect or the visual one. Cool! Uh well, like Ms. Wong said, the ending was lame, very lame! A big thank to Ms. Wong for fetching me back after the movie, as well for helping in the recommendation letters!

Along with Ivy, met up with Xin Yi. Whee, look like a Japanese girl already. Haha. As sweet and lovely as always, the trademark of hers. Nice to catch up with you. All the best in Japan alright? Take care! Don't skip meals, you're thin enough. Lol. God bless you abundantly and fruitfully!

Went for the Lantern Festival at the town-square. Wow, it was amazing. Sibu is so beautiful! Sibu peeps out there, must go for a look! Of course, captured a lot of photographs. It's a must, no? Uh, so let the pictures tell how beautiful is the scenery. Browse on the photographs!

Went to collect my Identity Card, or so-called MyKad. Went to bank and something amusing happened. I thought I had 900 bucks or more in that particular account, so I withdrew 900 bucks. And the receptionist said, you have about 500 bucks only. Ouh! I was embarrassed. *blushing* In the end, I just realized the another cheque with the amount of 500 bucks was not banked in to the account. I could have just withdrawn the amount by cash.

Went to my grandparents' house for the advanced lantern festival-celebration. Somehow, I love the way they live. The place, with peaceful tranquility, and closely relates to nature. Even the air feels fresh. People are very warm and somehow, humanitarian. Not to say the people in town or city area are cruel, but the people in the rural area are far more caring, helpful. Everyone is just very well related to everyone else, yes, you know what I mean.

And home. The feel of home, you know how it feels, don't you? The feel of dad, the feel of mum, the feel of siblings. The atmosphere, the temperature, the sound, the LOVE. The everything!

Holidays officially ended, and class officially starts today. But mine is of the unofficial. *winks*

I.just.don't.want.to.go.back.so.early.

我。你。他。

2010-09-13T01:17:00.000+08:00

世事真的很难料，人生真的很可笑，有时真的想不到，它却真的发生了。

突然想起曾经在某一篇提及的你和他，应该也不算是突然想起，而是因为一些原因所引发的感触。当你和他在同一个时间，同一个地点出现在我面前时，我真的震惊了！诗巫真的就如此这么的小吗？

感叹的是，还是不能够很勇敢的去面对。可悲。就在那一线之间，顿时间很郁闷，很没劲，那原本很高涨的情绪一瞬间消失无影。那原本很美味的食物也仿佛瞬间变得淡而无味。可笑的自己，真的很可笑。

你的身边是她，一个大家都很欣赏的她。虽然很清楚知道你和她真的只是很好的朋友，心却还是揪着的痛了一下。明明是这么近的距离，你和我却似乎很有默契的什么也没说。但是你知道吗，在眼神对到的那一秒钟，我真的晕眩了一会儿。

真的，就这么这么近的距离，却似乎这么这么远的两颗心。幸好的是，选择了比较靠边的位置，中间隔了一个人，才让自己不会太过份的紧张与窒息。但是却这么不争气的一直偷偷瞥向你，一直很努力的想要听听你的声音。依然是那把很熟悉的属于你的声音，那强而有力让人很舒服的你的声音。

我和他，你和她。霎时，明白了，晓得了。原来，你真的无法被他取代。而对于他，再一次的了解。感觉还在，但是却轻易轻巧的被你打败。也明白，对他，应该不会有那一种的刻骨铭心。

刚刚又再一次的看见你。真的感叹，诗巫好“大”！这一次，他不在，她也不在。一走进那熟悉的地方，眼神冷不防的触礁在那很熟悉的脸孔。我觉得，嗯，准确来说，我希望你没有发现到我。很快的找了一个你应该看不到的地方坐下，然后想起今天是星期日。啊！应该想到你一定会去那里的。

歌词这么写：真的情真的爱，无法用言语说。原来是真的。它无法被形容，只能细细的品茗那种丝丝心动，丝丝心痛的感觉。

我。你。他。

生命譜上，这么一个独特的音符，真的让我晕眩，让我窒息。

但，选择相信，时间可以疗伤。坚信，一切都会很好，再给我一点时间。

我，你，他，都会很好！

sound

2010-09-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

Life is very the great now! Yes, it has been treating me well. Alright, everything is good. Home is fantastic!

Flight landed on Sibu last Saturday's night, 9pm. Safely and soundly, I smelt Sibu. Flight was good, with the fact that there were bundles of known friends around, and a friend had his seat just beside my seat itself. It was like, of course, most of the people were heading home during this very festive season, which is also known as the holidays; but meeting number of friends in airport was somehow, amazing. Yesh, met with high school's friends and started blasting off and somehow, dominated the whole LCCT. The spirit of the Eliza's princesses? HAHA.

You know what? Sibu had been raining everyday since I was back. The weather is just so refreshing. I'm just so loving it! Sibu is just so welcoming, and you feel the close-knit when people around start babbling away in Foochow. Well, I, or rather, my family joined a common-knowledge-competition held by the Lau's Association on the past Sunday. No more the category of secondary school's students this time, but the category of open ages, which means there were people with all ranges of age, uh well, they're mostly the elders. I guess I'm the youngest amongst all. Yea, that's the point. They were all talking in Foochow, and it just felt, you know, warm.

Recently, am hooked on PSP, like crazily! Alright, PSP is a great invention. As well as the other series of Play Station. Haha. Appreciate much for these inventions! Had been eating lots of fishes and fruits these days, which I really missed eating and which I couldn't have, but was so desperate of in Shah Alam. Had been crapping a lot. Had been watching a lot of movies. Had been working a little bit on dossier. Had been consuming the two well-knowns of Sibu: kampua and kompia. Had been attending a family function. Had been playing badminton with brother and sisters. Had been taking the photographs of sunset with my sister.

Alright, it's Thursday now. It's meant to be special for, you know what, Rachel is coming to Sibu! We had been planning this thingy for the past few days and we were like so exaggeratedly excited!! LOL. You see, it just happens, out of random. But I guess it's going to be fun! So, yay, I and Angelina are going to be tour guides. Hahaha. We had been thinking and sorting out where should we bring Rachel to, and guess what, Sibu actually got quite a lot of places to go to! Oh my God, I'm hyped! Seriously, I am. See you soon, Rachel! *winks*

Raya is approaching. So, Happy Raya people!

ecstasy

2010-09-03T11:45:00.001+08:00

Alright, mid term was done! Coming up, holidays! Home!! Wheeeeee!

Yes, I'm excited, like really really much! Life is going to be wonderful. *grins*

Flight will be on Saturday. Before that, am going to meet with Olivia. Heh. One U, I'm coming. Yeah, the last shot on this Mega Sales. I hadn't really shop yet.

Packing luggage. This feels, extremely, good! HAHA.

Nah. It's merely a post, simply showing how great I'm now. I'm very happy, very joyous! Heeeee.

That's all. Catch up later.

splash

2010-08-31T01:34:00.003+08:00

So, this is the Independence day of Malaysia! Happy Independence Day, Malaysians!

Life had been very happening, or life sucks at a big portion. Big issue, the racism issue which had been heatedly said. Medium issue, the vague but somehow, obvious argument between certain people with another group of certain people. Small issue, the personal conflict with certain kinds of sarcasms.

Had been very bad lately, honest speaking. Somehow, been rebellious. I don't know why, though. Nah, I skipped class, without any proper reason. Just didn't want to go, and that's so! Didn't want to talk to the certain people, and that explains the appearing offline at Facebook, MSN, Skype. I just don't want to talk with you, don't want to reply the comments! Don't want, because you are freakishly frustrating me! Everything you do is frustrating, disgusting! You see, I really feel the bad-self. Didn't want to study, with the fact that the mid-term is approaching, in a real soon.

Why, the heart still minds, when the mouth says never mind? This is seriously, bitchy! Why are you haunting me all of the whiles! You said you understand the pain, yet, you torture on the bruise, like never before. You think you're so good? May be, you are, under your layers of masks! Again and again, the bruise won't get healed, but get worse and worst, because of your again-and-again-torturing! Hypocrite! I hate you bitch!

Don't ever brag like there's no tomorrow, with the properties or possessions which are not even belonged to you! Ewwww. Life sucks, at this moment! Everything just seems to be so shit. Damn it damn it damn it! And why the weather is so bloody warm! Freaking hell! Don't you, the weather also come and bother me at this very instant! Eeeeeeeee!

Why am I the one who shall bear all the pain and tear, while you grab all the comfort and joy!? You know, I really hate you from deep inside at this moment. You don't deserve to say you know, you understand! If you want it, what for, at the first place, you said you didn't want, you didn't feel interested? Why! You, tell me why!!

I remembered telling a friend that I sleep when I'm not in a good mood. You know, I had been sleeping really much these days! Too much that I scared I may die of sleep. It's because of you!! Please, stop bragging, stop haunting me! Stop all of your childish acts! Stop wearing masks on your ugly face!

~~Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred.~~

I don't want to be bad. Please. Chill me.

I'll be fine, soon.

Are you okay?

2010-08-29T03:25:00.002+08:00

Are you okay? This line means a lot, if you know.

Life is so much unpredictable. Things turned out to be the way they shan't be. Who's right? Who's wrong? Human beings are imperfect, after all. There are too many blaming fingers, here and there. Be yourselves. Friend, you have my vote with you! It's just difficult to please each and everyone. And in fact, it's impossible for us to please everyone, but of the utmost, we do things to please God! So, go ahead, doing things, following the right paths, following God's will, instead of people's wills. Cheers!

Malacca-a-day-trip turned out to be not as exciting as expected. And that's why, life is so much unpredictable, no? Perhaps the second time being there was not more tempting? A part of the reasons, yes it was. Deep inside, I know there's another part lying. I hate myself for the skepticism. Overall, the trip was still kind of good. Thank God for a safe journey. The deepest gratitude to all of the committee members as well. You guys are awesome. You did a great job!

Adventurous treasure hunt in Sunway Pyramid turned out to be way too much amazing than the expectancy. And that's why, again, life is unpredictable. It was fun! It was a very similar game as what we did last time, at my church back at hometown. And it brought back all the bits of memory. Thank God for a great carenet! Thanks a million to those who came and joined the event. Thank you to the dedicated organizers. Thank you to my group's members! I really had fun working with you guys!

Life is way too much unpredictable that when I thought I was dead exhausted and should have gone into slumber land, but then the scene turned out to be a round of downpour, of the so-called, tear. You see, the theory of gravity is so right. Tear dropped downwards, even when I was lying. It just couldn't keep itself in the eyes. At an instant, I was so hating myself. Why it just couldn't be pulled through? I was tired of all pretenses. I'm really not as tough and brave. I mind, when I said I don't mind.

什么时候坚强不再是种伪装？

it stings

2010-08-25T01:06:00.000+08:00

Title says it all. It stings, freakishly, exaggeratedly.

Tear dropped when water came in contact with the bruise. It's chillingly painful.

:'(

恙

2010-08-23T00:52:00.001+08:00

最近，该怎么形容呢？烦，又不全然是。好，又似乎相差好远。生活就是蓄着太多的惊喜，好的，不好的，排山倒海。

狠狠的哭过，狠狠的笑过，然后一切回归那条生命水平线上。

哭过，所以知道笑的可贵。

笑过，所以知道生活不仅仅存着笑。

太多时候，廉价的泪水似抵不住地心吸力，就这么轻易的往下滑落。

发现，自己异常的极端。极端得，要嘛就跟你无话不说，要嘛就与你互不相干。是你伤害了我，又一笑而过，你还奢望我装着什么也没发生？

但是有些时候，还是在乔装。其实，好讨厌这样的自己。为什么要装着无所谓，却傻傻的躲在人群后哭泣。为什么还是那么的在乎，以为自己可以忍受一切的时候，却在转身而过的时候，眼泪决堤。

生活，太多的是是非非。

学长/姐与学弟/妹？有些时候，或每一个时候，可曾听过，无风不起浪？

人与人之间，太多的是非。太多的悲欢离合。

最近，与很多的朋友重逢，名义上，在这所谓的面子书上重逢。岁月不饶人，沧海桑田，时过境迁。哈哈，我在乱用成语。看到之前在教会的弟兄姐妹的一些结婚照，一些步入成为爸爸妈妈的，看到这些幸福的照片竟然有一种莫名的感动。

偶然，看到你的照片。竟有一种很莫名的紧张。那段时间拥有太多的回忆。这些回忆足以用一生慢慢回味。年少的我们拥有过这般的疯狂，这般的欢笑。不禁感慨，时间叔叔好残忍！

最近，常常有同样的荡漾。却是另外一个他。常常却觉得，你不应该被他取代。潜意识里一直在说服自己并不在乎他。直到某一天，为了这个他懊恼泪洒满脸，然后一个朋友说，你的眼泪出卖了你。或许？哭过，就好了。最后，决定，放开。放开多一点，伤害就少一点。决定，真的不要再为这件事让自己不开心。

生命中，感恩有这些不同类型的朋友。

这些何时都带来快乐的朋友。虽然，大多的时候，都在废话连篇。太过喧哗而被这所谓的宿舍管理员警告，一起战战兢兢的说对不起。

另外一些可以陪着一起哭的朋友。清楚的知道自己的习性，有些时候会怀疑，似乎比起自己你更加清楚的了解我。会因为一个眼神，知道我在想什么。

生命中，更加的感恩，有一位可以依赖的主！

他是信实的主。他永远都知道你在面对着什么。他永远都会在恰恰好的时候触摸你。感谢主，再一次的触摸我，那是真真实实的感受，真真切切的淋浴在那丰盛的慈爱中。那温柔的手轻轻的触摸着伤口，伤口就愈合。

在无数的黑夜里，我用星星画出你。

你的恩典如晨星，让我真实的见到你。
在我的歌声里，我用音符赞美你，你的美好是我今生颂扬的。
这一生最美的祝福，就是能认识主耶稣。

这一生最美的祝福，就是能信靠主耶稣。
走在高山深谷，他会伴我同行，我知道这是最美的祝福。

久违了的华文。轻轻淡淡的属于它的气息。

妈咪说，诗巫涨水了。哦！终究，因为它是诗巫。

顿时，想家了。

care but concern

2010-08-18T01:03:00.000+08:00

Life is happening every now and then, with a lot of fun, a lot of sorrow, a lot of laughter, a lot of cry, a lot of everything. And this is what life meant to be.

Had a hair cut recently. Got back the short hair, got back the fringe as what mummy wants.

Life is getting hectic. Lab reports, quizzes, tests are approaching. And of the utmost, the application thingy. Ah, so it's the time now. Cliche, but indeed, time flew. I felt so scared of leaving when browsing through those photographs before departure. Wept like dumb ass, in the fact that those were none of my business, like, at all. Departure is always sad, I know, that I'm still trying hard of getting used to.

There was a book fair in INTEC today. And ouh! The books are so exaggeratedly cheap! Grabbed two great books which I was so happy of. Patricia Cornwell's The Front, and Audrey Niffenegger's Her Fearful Symmetry. Cool man cool! Both are amongst the favorite writers of mine. Wheeee.

And owh, there was PC Fair some other days before. PC Fair in KL is cool, what I'd tell. Despite any odds, or of course, I went for it. And hah! My aim, EOS550D!! I want i want i want! Desperate. Bought a hard drive, anyway. 640G, for Rm239. Went for Salt on the same day, which I remembered clearly for we met Zaim at the cinema. Nah, this guy, is still so Zaim-ism. HAHA. Oh yay, Salt was great. Love it!

Lots of things went on in the classes too. Of Chemistry, when I forgot to wear closed-shoes for lab, and I kept calling peeps for a closed-shoes. Lol. Of Biology, when I and Jazz were so vain taking photographs and left Rachel to do the works. Nahh, we are cool scientists what. It's so funny when the other people asked for our group's result, Jazz and I answered, "ask Rachel!", like so naturally and confidently some-more. HAHAHA. And when doing the experiment for protists, we failed to see anything under the microscope and blamed the microscope. Lol. But yea, seriously I think I'm not a lab-person. Of Finite Maths then, the class which I really like the most. The class of 10 people, including the lecturer. Oh my God, is that even can be called a CLASS? Haha. You know what I mean.

I think I have too much outings these days. And I shall claim bankruptcy soon. Okay I'm exaggerating. But somehow, yea. Blame this culprit which is so-called, Mega Sales. But I'm so desperately loving it. HAHA.

And now this is the fasting month for Malays. We had this buka puasa-dinner with Mr. Kamal and the Spring's Bostonians. Awww. Love 'em, love these peeps like really really much! Yea, the catch-ups were good. The food was good, at least, my Spaghetti Carbonara. Heee. And we had the gossips about juniors. Owhh. By any means, I really didn't expect myself to cry for the night. But then failed. Uhh. Tears rolled when Aween hugged me and it rolled profusely when hugging with each and everyone of them. Awww. I'm gonna miss them much! Take care in the States guys! Enjoy and stay awesome as always!!

The other day, we had this home-cooked meal at a brother's house. Wow. It's like so long since I last had a meal with the feel of home. Thanks a million to Alan!! The dishes were awesome!

The other thing is, I'm editing the ECA TV for this particular month. A new experience. And had come to realize how things work. How things work out with all the other things in His Kingdom.

Anyhow, I think I had been very sensitive for the past few days. And the thought was, PMS. Nah, it proves to be correct. Eeee. Somehow I do really feel bad about the stuff. Not that I'm complaining, in fact I'm complaining? Haih. This ain't easy. You never know until you experience it. So guys, please be considerate!

Sometime, guys just won't know, girls' smiles or happiness they see are filled with overloaded sadness. They just won't see or notice about the other side of things.

She doesn't care because she concerns way too much.

+

2010-08-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

When she says she hates, that matters, like really much. Eeeeee. I hate hypocrites! You spoil my day! Please. Be too hypocritical that you think what a bullshit excuse you give is convincing? Ewwwww. Disgusting Frustrating Filthy you!

The disobedient tears has been really disobedient. Cry the heart out. Shed the grievance off.

And I shall forgive you. And love you as how I love myself.

Lord I need You.

I've no idea of why the title comes up to be + though. Whatever.

July in a whole

2010-08-02T11:53:00.000+08:00

Wow unbelievably it's August already!

Time flew. It really flew that as if a month had passed in a glimpse.

Classes and lessons began. Things are getting packed. Life is getting hectic.

InPRO was done. ADFP/ACTP dominates no more. And yea, we lost. But what, we had fun! That's what matters no? Kudos to all of the paraders! We did our best!

Life is fun. And it's miserable in certain sense. People out there, please behave as ones who you shall be okay? Don't be so exaggerated! Gosh, it's damn frustrating!! Are you that desperate? Ewww!

And please, spell the word R-E-S-P-E-C-T!! Everyone has dignity! She may not voice out the dissatisfaction, for she doesn't wish anyone to know that she'd been hurt, but please, don't scratch on the scar, or even, spread salts on the unhealed scar, again and again.

Intentional, or unintentional bias or favor is very hurting. Indeed. You thought you'd been doing so much, but then in the end, people still ignore, and the bias still doesn't go to you. And what if the favor goes to someone you love, or you care? It's sort of, difficult for ignoring and acting as if nothing has happened.

Urgh.

Had been kind of emo.

Great things still go around, despite of those frustrating stuff. They are yet to come, lots more of them!

Belle my dearest house-mate came back! Owhh. Love ya babe!! And met Aween too, when she came for InPRO the other day! Awww. Love y'all.!!! These peeps are so lovable. I'm sure missing you so much after this. Aww.

Serving in Sunday's school was a very different and fresh experience. Kids are so lovely. Kids are so true, or pure. I was still kind of scared, for I was not really fond in dealing with kids. But then, it turned out to be fine. A very different kind of blessing within it.

Loads more things to be scribbled. Nahh. I shall really keep track with my blog.

This much for now. Class is starting soon.

Catch up later.

of somethings

2010-07-19T11:26:00.001+08:00

Right now I'm in computer lab of INTEC's library, with a very fresh mind, but a very empty tummy. Yesh, I'm hungry.

Well, class is going to start at 12 noon. Came to INTEC at around 10am, for there is no bus after 10am. Good thing is I really feel energetic and fresh now. And so that's why I don't like 8am class. Just let me sleep a little bit longer and I will be good.

I think I should take up the habit of keeping track on my blog. I remembered I told a friend, I blog to record my life. It will be a path to reminisce after all. And this traced to a question the friend asked, what does actually photographs mean? Frankly, my answer was just the same as why I blog, to capture the memory, to trace with my life. Photographs tell everything. Yea. I love photography.

Owh. before forgetting, I must say, Inception was nice! It was great! People, it was a must-watch!! Two and a half hours in cinema, and you feel like you had gone through so much suspects, thrills, excitements. I was like, sort of stunned with the movie. It was just great! And yay, this is what I call a real movie!! Woots. I just love this kind of movie!

INPRO is coming up. ADFP dominates? Hopefully. Haha. Am joining parade. Kind of looking forward to it. All the best people!

The new semester was so far so good. Lecturers are good, and humorous. A Malay lecturer speaks Mandarin, Foochow, Hokkien! Wow isn't that amazing? One sad thing is, there isn't any English subject for the semester. All the Science subjects are coming up though. I shall really work hard for this semester.

Church services were good and very anointed. Frequently I see something. Passion. Anytime, anywhere, I shall keep my initial passion for God. And the childish-pure heart for God! Sometime, truly, don't complicate life so much. Think plainly in everything, life will be much more easier.

Another thing is, my hair is getting longer and longer. And this bothers me. I don't know shall I cut it or the other way. Any opinion?

And yay, I changed the blog's skin. The template and the layout as well. Hopefully it looks better?

I'm a tumbler, tumbling in the world, in the life.

soup of love

2010-07-18T22:58:00.001+08:00

So, the freshie day was done. The freshie day we had anticipated so much was done. Praise is to the almighty Lord! Hallelujah!

17th July 2010. It was a very beautiful morning. It was a very warm morning, which of course, warmth of the weather, and the utmost, warmth of people, love of people. It was indeed a very lovely morning.

Photographs were up to Facebook! Here's the link! And another album, here goes the link!

committee members

freshies!

A morning to be remembered. A memory not to be forgotten. All those preparation, discussion, planning, practice were worth remembering.

It's all because of love. God's love is just great. Power of love is amazing. Let the chain of love flow, through each and everyone of us. And that we'll see how love is going to bring transformation and revival!!

Not forgetting, again, thanks a million to all who directly or indirectly participated the event. Thanks to everyone who made to join. Thanks to all members and leaders. Thanks for all the prayers and concerns. Thanks to all the committee members. Thanks God for everything!! For we believe, without God's guiding and leading, the day wouldn't turn up to be what it was. Hallelujah Praise The Lord!!

LOVE is going to bring miracles!

insights.

Don't you?

失去。漂流着它来过的证据

hang on.

漂流瓶

turducken.

连心都下雪。

情歌

最痛的地方 最美的包扎

她说

相片温热，泪水透彻。

I am who I am.

skyscraper

Hypocrisy is a big no no. You just did it.

信是未曾看见

娱乐豆！

destined.

奈何

August.

明天会更好

Julyyy.

the parting

summing up summer.

this is it.

8)

最让人心疼的三个星座

tearful

勇气

c

要笑 不要哭

晚春 初夏

Flatline

watch me burn

考试前夕

but i miss you

you know what.

tough

ticked.

;_;

陪你等天亮

最近比较烦比较烦比较烦！

what a day

朋友。情

三个星期

nil

F A I T H

新。序

痛

五

just the way you are

1/11/11

frailty

week 1

back-to-back

Salvatore

爱。喜乐。生命

cuties

instantaneous

RIP

19.

sibu soon

h.o.l.i.d.a.y.s.

Phil 4:13

poison

menstruating

rash

the season

the < plus 3

10.10.10

God is good

dealt

思

7448

bug

(u)

3am

独

hue

我。你。他。

sound

最痛的地方最美的包扎

要笑不要哭

晚春初夏